To not want my partner to vape around me?

[pregahes]

Every morning and night in bed he's using it, on the car - and tells me he has the right to have anywhere and I need to deal with it.

AIBU to not want vape around me?

urgh. Well, he does have a right to vape wherever it’s permitted but you have the right to dump him. Has he always vaped/smoked?

@olderbutwiser yes since I met him, we both smoked but I quote ten years ago soon after we met

Doesn't sound like he respects you very much. I imagine he would have a tantrum if you did something around him that he didn't like?

Do you really want to waste your time with a manchild?

YANBU 🤮

He vapes in bed? That's disgusting. I'd refuse to sleep in the same room as him.

Why do people think it's disgusting? I only ask because the more leverage I have to confront him about this the better

Vaping gives me the ick so it would be a deal breaker for me.

It’s disgusting because everything stinks. Bed is supposed to be a place of rest, not a health hazard.
I would start looking into having separate bed rooms and cars. But really, it sounds as if he doesn’t respect you - he cannot do what he wants when it impacts other people - he is the one who needs to deal with it, not you. Typical selfish smoker

I imagine this isn't the only issue you have with this man.

He says he has the right to vape but you have the right to be comfortable in bed or in the car and he won't allow that with his insistence on vaping in those places. That is what you need to focus on rather than more subjective ideas such as it being disgusting, which he will argue against. He can't argue against the fact that he is regarding his comfort as more important than yours.

It smells vile
It looks unattractive (especially in bed 🤮)
It is expensive

DH Vapes, not in the house or car etc and not around the kids. I dont want him Vaping around them to normalise it. We dont know the long term consequences of Vaping yet, careless of what he thinks if you can see it/smell it so you are breathing it in! Im not uptight about Vaping, im an ex smoker and will vape/nicotine replace, in the smoking area to stop me smoking when 'outout'.

I hate when you are walking down a road and somone vapes in front and you have to walk through their exhaled breath 🤮

to be quite honest my vape doesn't smell of anything and doesn't give out much vapour- nobody would notice i was doing it.
I'm a long term heavy smoker and managed to get off them 3 years ago. nobody can tell me gaping is just as bad.

It's weird. Everywhere you go people are constantly sucking on them...like dummies. At least smoking they had a break in between.

He's laid his line out. You can either accept it, or not.

Thats exactly what owners of dogs say. My dog doesn't smell..... you probably don't Notice the smell yourself.

I think you can argue that it's basic common courtesy. I smoke now and again cigs if I'm stressed. Outside my front door though as I don't want the smell of pigs all around the house. Plus I have a child so not something I ever do on the odd occasion even. Smoking in bed would be a no no.

Is he always this selfish?

Put a fabreeze bottle in your bag and spray him everytime. You have the right to nice smelling air, and he can just deal with it.. after all its just chemical clouds the same as his vape right?

I'd start pooing with the bathroom door open, especially if you have an en suite.

"I have a right to poo where and when I want. Deal with it."

"to be quite honest my vape doesn't smell of anything and doesn't give out much vapour- nobody would notice i was doing it."

🤣

Because it stinks and I don't want to breathe that crap in. My husband vapes but is considerate about it.

I smoke, DH smokes cigars. We do smoke in our front room.

We NEVER smoke in the bedroom. That is truely disgusting, and vaping isn't any better than normal smoking. I don't care if it's cherry or whatever, that shit still stinks as vile as any tabacco smoke.

That’s like smokers or dog owners saying they can’t smell anything. I don’t think there is a completely zero smell vape yet?
You can’t smell it but others can. Yup it’s no where near as bad as cigarettes but it’s there

@pregahes ask him if it’s ok why it is banned in public or on planes?

olderbutwiser · Today 08:42
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urgh. Well, he does have a right to vape wherever it’s permitted but you have the right to dump him. Has he always vaped/smoked?”

Not in OP’s bedroom (house), he doesn’t. He can go outside.

@ZekeZeke no it really doesn't. i've asked people if they can smell anything or any strange smells in rooms where i've vaped...i vape in the car and ask dh to do a sniff test. My vapes are not the big cloudy ones it gives out hardly any output and no tobacco or weird flavour smells