To not want my partner to vape around me?

[pregahes]

Every morning and night in bed he's using it, on the car - and tells me he has the right to have anywhere and I need to deal with it.

AIBU to not want vape around me?

You don’t need any leverage. He wants to vape around the house , you dont. So either one of you changes or you need to separate as your lifestyles are not compatible .

@shreknjumps not heard of ghosting then?

He’s not respecting your human right to choose to be in a vape-free space. By vaping when you are in bed or in the car, he’s removing your fundamental Human Right to be in an environment of your choosing.

Like you wouldn’t choose to climb into a car with a driver who had been drinking (I presume!) or uses their mobile and texts while driving - you can choose not to be in a car when he’s vaping (ie not get in it, or if he starts vaping you must be able to leave the car / bed). Or he must agree not to vape when you are in the car / bed.

https://www.ohchr.org/en/special-procedures/sr-health/about-right-health-and-human-rights

What is it everything thinks it smells of to make it stink?

Think people are being dramatic with the "it stinks!" Majority of them are fruit smelling ones now. However you still have to breathe that in, so it's not fair on you!

I can see both sides of this. You’re not unreasonable to not want to be around vape, he’s not unreasonable for wanting to vape in his own house/car.

It’s certainly not disgusting, but it’s personal preference and neither trumps the other really. It’s both of your space and you should both be able to use it how you see fit, it’s just unfortunate that your needs clash. Maybe try to find a compromise like not RIGHT beside you?

You don't need leverage

He doesn't care

So either put up with it, or...

Because it is

It stinks

And people look ridiculous doing it

You might think no one would notice but I bet it's pretty obvious

You remind me of my ex’s family who kept rats as pets. Everytime we went to visit we would get the speech about what perfect pets these rats were and how they ‘didn’t smell at all’

their house stank of rodent and they were just noseblind to it. I was too polite to say anything.

Bet your bedroom whole house stinks

Back in the day my father smoked cigars and my SM smoked.

After they'd gone and we'd gone to bed I'd wake up at 3 in the morning from the stink. Opening windows made no difference

But you're still sucking on it so that will be obvious

Think people are being dramatic with the "it stinks!" Majority of them are fruit smelling ones now.

What fruit have you smelled that's like sickly sweet chemicals?

The fruit ones stink too. Awful smell.

This isn't about the Vapes so much it's about the massive disrespect to you, you have asked him not to do something whilst he is with you and it isn't a unreasonable ask and he has refused.

Get rid of him he is a idiot.

When was vaping banned in public? This is news to me.

There is absolutely no comparison with tobacco use which turns ceilings and walls yellow and can linger for years. Vapes simply don't do that and the 'smell' rapidly dissipates. I've vaped in my flat for years and there is no residue or lingering odour.

I do have have a traditional mod/tank type (the kids hate it as they think mods are for 'old men' therefore super uncool) and use unflavoured liquid which is more discrete - I agree the sugary 'fruity' stuff absolutely stinks, it makes me feel ill. It also murders coils. Disposable vapes are even worse as they tend to be more concentrated. I never vape around children and find it disturbing how many people do.

That said I also never vape around non-vapers as it's basic courtesy and run a low power to avoid silly clouds of smoke. I know some people hate it, why would I do it around them?

I was responding to the poster who smokes in their living room but doesn't in the bedroom - like it doesn't spread!

So much as I loathe vaping I wasn't comparing the two

I wouldn't want someone vaping in bed but I guess whether you can complain depends on the circumstances. Is it your house or both of yours? Did he smoke in bed when you got together? If you are the one that has changed then you really can't insist he does. In which case you need to decide if it is a deal breaker for you.

It like smokers, who can't smell themselves.... neither can vapers

Still better than smoking, but in bed or close proximity to people who don't like it, don't do it.

Not a vaper or smoker. I don't mind anyone vaping, to me it is odourless or dissipates very quickly if I'm for instance walking along. I've been in houses where the owner vaped, and I've never noticed a smell. But maybe there's something wrong with my olfactory nerves! I'm very tolerant you see, because I drive a big car, have a wood burning stove, and make curry a lot.

His attitude sucks. Just because he has a right to vape, it doesn’t mean he should, and certainly not in your bedroom when you have asked him not to.
Why does he think his right to vape trumps your right to have an unpolluted bedroom?
Why are his views more important than yours?
Hes selfish and inconsiderate, personally I’d treat this as a dealbreaker.

You can’t vape on public transport or in hospitals or healthcare settings or planes. But you are correct that it’s not illegal in other places, but places can set their own rules. I’m guessing you mean public as in a field.

@kisstheblarney no it's just not the same at all. i knew i smelled of cigarettes. i don't think some people have any clue and just imagine those massive vapes that give off clouds of smog. i can vape and not exhale any visible vapour.

how does that effect anyone??? lol weird

But to a non vaper it can still be smelt, you may have been a smoker aware of the smell but I know lots that aren't or weren't but then realised when they gave up and could smell others.

It's definitely better than smoking though, not as stinky, but still unpleasant.