To tell DH that he stinks and it's making me nauseous

[pontipinemum]

Dh just came back inside from having a cig. I told him he stinks and it is making me feel nauseous. I am 7 weeks pregnant and the smell has been making me feel sick for at least 2 weeks now.

He just left the room and looked hurt. I think he thinks I am exaggerating as I really want him to stop smoking, which I do. I stopped when I was got pregnant with DS he was supposed to stop before DS was born, DS is now 1.5yrs old.

Should I have kept my mouth shut? I feel bad now like I'm nagging

There is a middle ground.noone who's addicted to something abstains because someone else tells them too. So just expecting him to stop, while reasonable, is an unrealistic expectations.

I'd suggest he implements a 'smoking jacket' - a coat he wears every time he smokes, always zips to the neck. It avoids clothes smelling of smoke. Then wash hands as soon as he comes in. You can also set up mouth wash near the hand soap and/or mints.

Not ideal, but better than nothing

@Woush he went and changed his clothes and must have washed hands/ teeth. I know people addicted to something can't just stop and all the nagging in the world won't do it so I don't normally say anything. But he has been 'on a plan' to quit for 2 years so it's not like this has come out of the blue. He says he wants to quit.

The smell really does make me want to throw up though at the min

Would he switch to a vape?

HE can set up a wash station why should she

I'm with you and I'm not even pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. I hate the smell of smoke and no amount of soaking oneself in perfume/aftershave can cover it up. I was networking a few weeks back and a guy came to talk to me who had just been outside for a cigarette and honestly, reeked of it. It was genuinely hard to talk to him as every word more cigarette breath came out all over me. As a smoker he probably couldn't tell but as a non smoker who is rarely around smoking at all, it was awful.

Why would he stop smoking?

there is zero consequence, you’re even having another baby when you told him to give up for the first one.

he needs to switch to a vape at bare minimum now.

I never let smokers hold my DC. I can’t imagine the second hand smoke radiating from a parent who are with these poor kids constantly.

toughen up, stick to your guns and protect your kids.

smokers always stink. No smoking jacket or handwashing makes a difference

I feel for you op.
It’s a disgusting smell. I couldn’t cope with that.

Disgusting. I met a guy who stank so much of it I was gagging and fainting while talking to him. Turns out he's not a smoker but his husband is. I am very sensitive to smells though.

Your DH needs to be more considerate if he is going to smoke, wash his hands, mouth wash, smoking jacket every time. I've even known of friends slipping on a washing up glove to stop the smell and discoloration on their hands.

Ex smoker here and still think I'd enjoy a smoke every now and again but don't because of the packet a day addiction I had 😞

@Newmumatlast missing the point, but aftershave/ perfume is even worse for me right now. In the shop yesterday a teen who had clearly discovered Lynx Africa or similar for the 1st time walked by and I nearly heaved there and then, I had to walk outside!

"Gagging and fainting"? Good grief.

Oh god - you poor thing! As someone who was a smoker, and has quit/restarted roughly half a dozen times, I’m guessing he’s standing outside, hating himself for doing it, coming inside, super aware of the smell and hating himself for it, doing everything he can with washing/changing clothes and still hating himself. I spend a lot of time hating myself when I smoke. But you can’t help that it’s a nausea trigger right now and you shouldn’t have to feel sick around him all the time.

Has he tried going to an Alan Carr clinic? I have quit using the book (and it really was easy) but I know that the clinics are so much better. You could maybe look into it and suggest it as a way to help while you’re suffering with morning sickness?

Gagging and fainting 🤣🤣🤣

I tell him he has to stop you don't want this anymore near the children and if he can't do it, he needs to seek professional help.

Gross. Imagine not being able to give up smoking for the sake of your child and unborn child. Second and third hand smoke is dangerous to your baby! When you think of the sacrifices you make to have a baby OP, don’t you think he should be slightly keener and more motivated to give up smoking?

Why hasn’t he had tablets from the doctor if he really wants to give up?

Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Read this book and you'll never smoke a cigarette again amzn.eu/d/h3U2PEy

Get him a copy of the above book it's supposed to be amazing for stopping smoking.

Think of your kids. I am a teacher and some poor kids stink of second hand smoke even when the parent smokes outside.
Try and help him quit - as hard as it is not to tell him he stinks! I was really sensitive to smell when I was pregnant and exh had to give up coffee as it made me gag (not faint though!)

I met a guy who stank so much of it I was gagging and fainting while talking to him. Turns out he's not a smoker but his husband is.

😂😂😂🙄🙄🙄

You were apparently able to overcome your revulsion to smoking residue sufficiently to get pregnant by him a second time. If it only upsets you when you’re pregnant, avoid pregnancy. If it upsets you all the time, avoid smokers.

Gagging and fainting when you're smelling it on a person who hasn't actually smoked themselves is pushing reality. It's a little more Sistine chapel than the OP's actual issue which is fair enough.
OP is there any chance he'd be persuaded into vaping instead? If he's wanted to quit for so long but can't get out of the grip of it, he could vape outside. Then no smells when he comes back inside to you.

Get it totally, insist he washes hands and face as soon as he comes in. Buy him a good quality vape to get off the cigarettes but make sure he still goes outside for it.

Have you ever been to the Sistine Chaoel by any chance?

It might be a side step from the subject as maybe your pre smoking sense of smell hasn't returned but a thorough wash and change of clothes doesn't get the fag smell out.
When non smokers are in a space with a non smoker, the stale smell covered with minty breath is grim us non smokers stand near you feeling gippy from the smell anyway.
Yes it's an addiction but also one he immediately is the only one in control.

YANBU I felt like this when pregnant with my second, aftershave and perfume too. No longer pregnant and still can’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke or heavily applied perfume / aftershave. It’s disgusting.

Fainting 🥴