Commando

[LylaLee]

Met up with friend in a cafe for a catch up - the last one was before COVID. Her DP came to pick her up after.

He was wearing joggers but he very clearly was not wearing anything underneath. Outlines of everything. I didn't say anything but AIBU to think it's grim to go out in public like that?

My partner wears baggy boxers and it's fine but if he puts joggers on he looks awful because you can see everything!
He won't wear tight pants so if he bobs to the shop people are getting a view of his boys but he wouldn't go out out like that

What an unpleasant thread.

Stop looking
Stop judging

This is 100% a you problem.

Her eyes. Her choice.

If we get to wear what we want, we get to look where we want.

Exact thing I was going to say

Quite.

I wasn't staring. If I notice you've got a mole/had a new haircut it doesn't take more than a glance to see that. Same for people not wearing underwear and standing in front of people who are seated.

I know the feeling, I wait in the car for my son and a transwoman walks pass every afternoon in the same pink gym pants with no underwear... if they wore underwear they would be more convincing - or a longer coat!

The dishonest allow looking to become staring.

And the bullies love to accuse people of staring when no such thing happened.

And those with closed minds, well there is no helping you.

The point is why are you allowed to control where people look if you aren't allowed to control what people wear? And I'm not talking about the criminal law. I'm talking about what is good manners/ social mores.

If you can wear what you want, I'll look where I want and of course that allows others to look where they want.

In other words you allow a world where people can wear what they want, well other will start looking where they want. That is what needs to be thought about.