I no longer find men my age attractive.

[Carmargo]

OK this is not meant to be a deep thread - just a light chat.
I'm perimenopausal now and prior to this I always fancied older men.
Now I'm noticing that I only fancy younger men.
I'm not talking ridiculously younger as in early twenties but guys aged around 35 to 40 (although rock stars and actors who are in reality much older than me but in their twenties when I first saw them and I was the same age are as attractive as ever e.g. someone like Johnny Depp but not him IYSWIM but not the 20-somethings I meet now).

I watched The Gold and realised that the actors who played Kenny Noye and the solicitor were gorgeous as was the gold smelter. Sorry can't recall their names.
This is reflected in real life too.
I'll look at a guy and think he's sexy and realise I'm at least ten years older.

Why is this? I used to joke about 50-something women and younger guys but I've realised my tastes have changed.

Like I said, I wonder if any other straight females here feel the same.

I admit I'm a bit depressed by it. Lol.

I’m in my early 50s and in a 3 year relationship with a 33 year old, I’d find one and go for it OP!

Imagine if a late 40s man wrote about fancying women in their 30s. “It’s partly because my sex life has got a bit crappy. If she didn’t spend all her free time watching soaps I wouldn’t be noticing the tits on Brenda down the pub.” He’d be torn apart on here.

Men do do this- ALL the damn time! Age gap relationships between older men and younger women are normalised and its portrayed in the media as acceptable in films, tv, etc I remember watching the film entrapment when I was younger where Sean Connery in his 70s was dating Catherine zeta jones in her 30s so why shouldn't women do it too?

It might be because you still FEEL as if you are in your 20’s (if you are lucky with your health). I work with younger people and it does make me act much younger than when I’m at home with husband.
I guess it’s less spoken about when men do it but it shouldn’t be more acceptable that way.

I agree with this. I'm in my 30s and see the odd attractive man in his 50s/60s (mostly on YT podcasts about Longevity funnily enough 😂) but most middle aged men I meet irl do not look after themselves. I don't know who started the rhetoric that men age better than women.

I’m like this, I’ve always thought I had ‘daddy issues’ for fancying older men. Now I’m 46, single and the men 10 years older than me look old.

I guess it’s the same as when men reach their ‘mid-life crisis’ and go for women in their 30s starting a new family.

Men get slated for doing this on MN but women get the ‘you go girl’, which seems a bit unfair. Maybe it’s all just biology.

I totally get this. As others have said, younger men like an older woman. Personally, I feel more confident, straightforward in my approach to things, experienced and my life is relatively settled. I can see how that is appealing.

My partner is 8 years older than me, but looks after himself, looks much younger and the qualities I describe above he has....although 35-40 year old men could also fall in this category.

When I was single about 10 years ago. I was early 30s and 19/20 year olds always seemed to come up to me on nights out. That age difference was massively unattractive.

I don't think it's uncommon. Certainly a lot of men in their 50s go after women in their 30s.

I was thinking the same tbh but you said it bluntly. 😂

Imagine if it was men on here saying this . There have been enough posts slamming men for chasing women younger than them and not wanting partners their own age or older .

I’m completely the opposite. I really don’t find younger men attractive in that way.

I know they do, but on here they are generally vilified and called creeps/dirty old men..

A bit different to another post on here, some one complaining her 50 year old DF is dating someone her age! Before the menopause with me. I married at 18 (pregnant,) at 26,my now ex H was what we used to call "pipe and slippers". He was actually a footballer just before we met, very fit! He got fat, lazy, convinced me I was old. I had my elbow length hair cut to a chin length bob, the hairdresser cried! We divorced (long story) at 40, I went out with a 25 year old. Had guys at work 18/21 asking me out ( they were unaware I was single) it wasn't glamorous, I was nursing, uniform definitely wasn't sexy. I married a guy 7 years younger than me. That was 34 years ago.

This is something that has always fascinated me personally, I’ve often wondered whether people always find someone closer in age to them attractive or whether most people favour youth.

I’m 30 and most of my students are 18-21, I wouldn’t look twice at any of them in that sort of way because they’re honestly mostly like children mentally. I still prefer either men my age or up to 15 years older. I do wonder if this will always be the case or whether I’ll reach an age like you where men my age just aren’t sexy anymore.

See I think where I personally differ from men on this is where I can appreciate the beauty of a younger man , realistically I don’t feel the entitlement that lots of men in the same situation do , or maybe the sense of delusion.
Yes, I might like a night in bed with James Norton but realistically I couldn’t get my head around why he’d be choosing me rather than someone his own age so I’d be struggling with that and feeling insecure. Perhaps it’s just a confidence thing of mine.
Whereas older men don’t seem to have these scruples when they choose women 20 years younger?

I agree that a large percentage of men over 50 don’t take care of their health and many look like they are auditioning to play Homer Simpson. Even my teen heart throbs - John Taylor and Simon le Bon, are now no longer sexy or attractive.

I can appreciate the beauty of fit handsome men in their 30s but don’t think I would like to be in a relationship with one. There would be something icky about sex with someone young enough to be my son.

There are still 50/60 year old men who are attractive, Im lucky enough to be married to one. I do feel sorry for those women who fell for a dashing handsome man and are now married to the Homer Simpson lookalikes, but maybe love is blind!

I remember watching the film entrapment when I was younger where Sean Connery in his 70s was dating Catherine zeta jones in her 30

I actually thought of that film the other day. The latest Bond film is also a good example, not just the main love interest who's about 20 years younger but also where he's grieving over the previous love interest who was in her early 20s (he's pushing 60!). He could literally have been the latter's grandpa. 😂

I've never been attracted to older men. I'm 44 and my DP just turned 28. Older men remind me of my dad 🤣

Your poor husband, imagine if a man were writing on here that he found his wife less attractive because she was older, he'd be called all sorts. He deserves someone who actually finds him attractive.

So what? The “what if a man/woman said/did this” on here is beyond tedious.

Never give up on your chances with Aragorn, Arwen was over 2,700 years old when they met - you've got a good few millenia left in you still!

Men your own age remind you of your dad?

Wow, that is mean but unsurprising.I did the younger man thing a few times,from age 52 to 55 after a divorce from a man 4 years older.The younger men were good for the physical side ,as they are still fit . I found it no good for any sort of commitment though.Now I am 57, single and celibate by choice as just don't fancy anyone, especially men my age or older.I think enjoy what you can before it's all over.haha.

Fun Fact, Agatha Christie’s second husband was 14 years younger than her, she married him when she was 40, they had a long and happy marriage.
He was an archaeologist which led to some unfortunate jokes when the wedding was announced .

Personally never been into older guys, but I can’t be arsed with any of them now. As mum would say ‘I wouldn’t have another man if he were gift wrapped’😀

The older men are letting themselves go and women are taking more care of themselves as they get older? I plan to still make an effort when I’m 50+ and I don’t think I would be attracted to a man who didn’t. That’s my theory anyway.