To find this a weird adjective for a baby

kookykalki · 2023-12-08T07:18:03+00:00

AIBU to think these are weird things to say about a baby? DH will say our 8 month old baby girl is attractive or she has such a perfect bum, cute round bum etc For context DH is a dioting dad but he has had one of those adult lives where a baby has never come into his world until now and he is sometimes comically/scarily clueless about babies, he will often try and play with DC like she's much much older etc. Has society ruined me or is this actually weird? YABU - it's fine to say this stuff to a baby YANBU - that's weird to say to a baby

Catza · 08/12/2023 07:24

What's the context through. Was he telling his mate at the pub that his daughter has a perfect bum or was it more along the lines of "who is a pretty little girl, you are a pretty little girl. Look at this perfect little bum, kiss kiss kiss"
First scenario - little odd, second scenario- perfectly normal.

FawnFrenchieMum · 08/12/2023 07:26

Totally agree with @Catza , I mean babies bums are cute but in a baby cute way not a sexual cute way.

Magpiesalute · 08/12/2023 07:26

Attractive is a strange word to use for a baby, yes. But comments about cute bums are pretty standard I’d have thought. Babies bums are cute!

This is much more than just a comment about language though, if you’re worried about this you obviously think that your husband might be viewing your baby as sexually attractive. Are you concerned about that?

if my husband used the word attractive I’d just say ‘ew…that’s the wrong word, don’t use that!’ And not think another thing about it as I trust that he’s not a paedo!

if your gut is telling you something awful here, you need to explore why and quickly!

SecondUsername4me · 08/12/2023 07:28

My SIL used to say my ds had "sexy legs" which I always thought was grim.

Babies bums are cute and you do hear people say stuff like "I could just bite it", same and with feet.

Attractive is a very odd word to use about a baby though. Isn't attractive literally "I am attracted to you"

HiCandles · 08/12/2023 07:31

Attractive is a bit odd, yes. But DH and I both say to each other, I can't believe how good looking our son is, how did we make such a beautiful child, what a gorgeous boy we have. And yes definitely do the 'aw your bottom is so squidgy I could gobble it all up' type thing.

Daylightsavingstime · 08/12/2023 07:32

I think attractive is a weird word to use, but like above, I'd have just said that to him.

I tell my baby he is so handsome, pretty etc all the time, because to me, he is!

I also always said my children's bums were so cute etc, because babys bums are adorable 😍

Neonttasselll · 08/12/2023 07:34

I agree it depends on the context!

I think babies mums and tummies and all of them! Are so soft and cute so I get it!

But you could tell him it makes you uncomfortable.

Original poster

kookykalki · 08/12/2023 07:35

Catza · 08/12/2023 07:24

What's the context through. Was he telling his mate at the pub that his daughter has a perfect bum or was it more along the lines of "who is a pretty little girl, you are a pretty little girl. Look at this perfect little bum, kiss kiss kiss"
First scenario - little odd, second scenario- perfectly normal.

Not too his friend, no.

Just when he's changing her nappy he'll remark 'doesn't she have such a perfect round bum' or something similar.

He is a native English speaker. His profession relies heavily on his precision of words (law)

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SoupDragon · 08/12/2023 07:37

I think you're over thinking it.

TeaKitten · 08/12/2023 07:37

Depends on the context. Babies do have perfect cute round bums. Attractive is another word for
pretty, cute etc. Does your husband have previous form for acting like a peadophile? It’s odd to assume he’s being inappropriate otherwise.

Cheeesus · 08/12/2023 07:38

They do have perfect little bums though. And all the rest. Sounds fine to me.

TeaKitten · 08/12/2023 07:38

kookykalki · 08/12/2023 07:35

Not too his friend, no.

Just when he's changing her nappy he'll remark 'doesn't she have such a perfect round bum' or something similar.

He is a native English speaker. His profession relies heavily on his precision of words (law)

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Yeah this sounds like totally normal parenting. YABU

Original poster

kookykalki · 08/12/2023 07:39

Magpiesalute · 08/12/2023 07:26

Attractive is a strange word to use for a baby, yes. But comments about cute bums are pretty standard I’d have thought. Babies bums are cute!

This is much more than just a comment about language though, if you’re worried about this you obviously think that your husband might be viewing your baby as sexually attractive. Are you concerned about that?

if my husband used the word attractive I’d just say ‘ew…that’s the wrong word, don’t use that!’ And not think another thing about it as I trust that he’s not a paedo!

if your gut is telling you something awful here, you need to explore why and quickly!

No nothing creepy at all.

And I have said almost exactly how you say you would respond ie. Attractive is a weird word for babies. But he just shrugged it off. He said I'm just picking on his parenting (background, I've probably been micro managing his parenting. Although I am trying very hard not to be like this)

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Keeva2017 · 08/12/2023 07:41

Im always raving to my kids about how cute their bums are 🤣. They think I’m a total weirdo.

PastelHouses · 08/12/2023 07:41

This reply has been deleted

This is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

Original poster

kookykalki · 08/12/2023 07:41

TeaKitten · 08/12/2023 07:37

Depends on the context. Babies do have perfect cute round bums. Attractive is another word for
pretty, cute etc. Does your husband have previous form for acting like a peadophile? It’s odd to assume he’s being inappropriate otherwise.

I just think it sounds weird. I haven't heard vocab like that used for babies.

I feel like "attractive" and "perfect round bum" are different to say "adorable and cute" and a squishy little bot bot"

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Pillboxer · 08/12/2023 07:42

I’d be way more concerned about his ‘comically clueless’ parenting. It doesn’t require any previous experience with babies whatsoever to look after them. You learn on the job.

Original poster

kookykalki · 08/12/2023 07:47

Pillboxer · 08/12/2023 07:42

I’d be way more concerned about his ‘comically clueless’ parenting. It doesn’t require any previous experience with babies whatsoever to look after them. You learn on the job.

For example when she was newborn he was deeply concerned at how little she reacted to things so he sort of pounced at her and went BOO quite loudly. He did it with such forced the mattress wobbled everywhere. I was.like WTF are you doing and he told me how she seemed like she just wouldn't react to these things. And I was like she is literally newborn she isn't going to shriek and laugh or anything just yet.

I think for some people it is just not at all intuitive and they could really do with reading a book on babys development etc

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SoupDragon · 08/12/2023 07:47

a squishy little bot bot

now that is seriously weird! 😂

HaddawayAndShite · 08/12/2023 07:51

squishy little bot bot
I’ve just vomited into my own mouth 🤢

HRTQueen · 08/12/2023 07:58

It’s fine
baby’s bums are adorable

sounds more like he struggles to use very expressive words like beautiful to him his daughter is beautiful but he has chosen a less expressive word (that does have a different meaning) attractive

most of us are overwhelmed by how wonderful our children are and for some it’s not always easy to put into words

GrumpyOldCrone · 08/12/2023 08:00

Reminds me of that Friends episode where Ross starts singing Sir Mixalot to baby Emma.

I think there are probably lots of words that have ‘adult’ connotations which sound a bit wrong for a baby. I wouldn’t use the word attractive to describe a baby either, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. Lots of things can be attractive in a non-sexual way.

everybluesock · 08/12/2023 08:02

Are you policing his language a bit too much? As a new mum it's important to step back sometimes and let dad parent his way, without your input (even if they do it differently to how you would)

TeaKitten · 08/12/2023 08:04

kookykalki · 08/12/2023 07:41

I just think it sounds weird. I haven't heard vocab like that used for babies.

I feel like "attractive" and "perfect round bum" are different to say "adorable and cute" and a squishy little bot bot"

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So he’s strange for saying perfect round bum like an adult and might be a peadophile, but you think everyone uses words like squishy little bot bot :-/ I’ve never heard anyone say squishy little bot bot. Some of us just don’t talk like that!

Hopefully people here have reassured you this is normal. But clearly there’s issues in your relationship if you think of him like this that you need look at.

Original poster

kookykalki · 08/12/2023 08:08

TeaKitten · 08/12/2023 08:04

So he’s strange for saying perfect round bum like an adult and might be a peadophile, but you think everyone uses words like squishy little bot bot :-/ I’ve never heard anyone say squishy little bot bot. Some of us just don’t talk like that!

Hopefully people here have reassured you this is normal. But clearly there’s issues in your relationship if you think of him like this that you need look at.

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No I never said I think he might be a paedophile!!

I just think the way he is speaking sounds weird.

Edit: but yes I feel a lot better having read people's responses and will be less polie-like with DH's language

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