Eating egg sandwiches on a crowded train should be a criminal offence!

[sprigatito]

FFS we're crammed like sardines into a hermetically sealed tube with no air flow, it's hotter than hell, there's a child WHISTLING while the parents smile indulgently - that's been going on for a good 20 minutes - the "trolley service of drinks and light refreshments" has run out of coffee, and now some rancid cunt has opened an egg sandwich and the whole place stinks like a festival toilet. I hate travelling in this country. Hate it.

Ooh, sympathies. I was on my way home from Waterloo the other evening and the aircon had broken in my carriage. In walks a guy with a hot fish curry. I choose to stand in another carriage rather than remain sitting in that one!

Give me a train over a motorway anyday. Headphones and books are your friends.

It's just food. I've never understood how people seem so affronted about being able to smell food.

Anything McDonalds or KFC chicken bones is worse!

I agree, OP, but I once said on a thread that egg mayonnaise sandwiches were foul and nobody actually liked them, and about a million people jumped in to tell me how wrong I was and that I should probably crawl away and never have an opinion ever again, so wrong was I.

I think I'd have chosen an egg sandwich over the outrageously noisy headphones the person had on next to me this morning. I can't understand the point of headphones if everyone else can hear the music anyway, and I can't imagine how loud it actually was in their ear.
Luckily there was space to move after about 20 minutes

The worst one I have had was on a 6 hour boat crossing, where the family behind us spent most of the time (arguing and/or) eating cold fried chicken - it wasn't the roughest of crossings but it definitely wasn't smoothest either and the smell of definitely past it's best cold fried meat wasn't the greatest. Yes, we could have moved, but decent seats on the boat are in high demand and we might have ended up having to sit on the floor for the duration. TBH eggs don't actually bother me that much, tuna is rank, as is anything that involves too much licking/slurping!

And a gasmask.

I was on a long haul flight that originated in India. Lots of people had brought their own food on. All fine until they started eating it and it was mostly fishy curries. I cannot stand fish, the merest whiff makes me gag.

I realise this is entirely my problem but I had a stinking hangover and was sitting next to someone sucking fish bones.

I also hate egg but think I would prefer it to the fish.

Different people are sensitive to different things, including smells, tastes and noises. I cannot abhor fatty or fishy smells, strong perfumes, stale smoke, burnt meat/toast etc., egg doesn't bother me, and I could breathe lavender, diesel, basil, fresh linen all day......I am sure others will have different likes/dislikes/indifferences!

I can't compete with the sandwich part but yesterday at the swimming pool the lady on the next bench was humming a tune quietly at first but that was bad enough as it was just audible so impossible to ignore - over and over again lifting phone to ear then humming the tune a title bit louder yet again. Her dc finally arrived and instead of that being the end it must have bolstered her confidence as she continued the whole time dc faffed with their hair and shoes etc. surely grown adults should realise this is a bit anti social?!

OP I feel your pain! It brings back memories of going on holiday or day trips by coach when I was younger, you could guarantee someone would eventually get out either egg sandwiches that made the coach stink like somebody had bad gas, or cheese and onion, which also stank the coach out.

I once took boiled eggs to work for breakfast, not realising how pungent they were until I got to the office. I decided the politest thing to do would be to eat them quickly before anyone else arrived.

My then-boss came in and pulled a face at the lingering smell. I said, confidently and with eye contact, "sorry, that was me". I then had to backtrack and explain that it wasn't me, rather it was my breakfast

Can’t explain it, but I can’t stand being confined in a non-dining space with other people’s food smells.

I love an egg mayo sandwich myself, but I don’t want to be trapped in a train with other peoples’ eggy smells. Likewise, don’t mind smelling cooking smells in the canteen at work, but I hate the fug that fills an office and hangs around all afternoon where everyone has been eating hot/smelly food at their desks.

I’ve obviously missed the memo about eggs in public and recounting all the times I’ve eaten eggs in public and whether any of these stories are about me

genuinely didn’t know it could cause such anger and distress

Tbh I hate most eating on a train atm, was sat opposite someone eating a pasty the other day and it was so stinky! Only thing I eat on a train is chocolate bar or cereal bar. Wouldn’t even eat crisps as they’re so noisy and crunchy!

I had a guy eating crisps next to me at work the other day and it was so infuriating all the noise!!

Because the eggs are cooked properly and not over boiled. Overboiling causes the grey sulphur ring around the yolk and then, that horrific smell that people complain about.

To boil eggs you piece the bottom and place in a pan with cold water with an inch of water above them. Bring them to a boil and rapid boil them for exactly one minutes. Then remove them from the heat and put the lid on. Leave them for exactly 9 minutes and then plunge the eggs into ice and water. Perfect eggs every time. If they are small eggs, make it 8 minutes, larger ones make it ten. No smell, no nasty grey sulphur and no complaints.

Oh, the slurping

The last time I visited London, I got the train back to Glasgow. Now, the prospect of a five-hour train journey puts me in a negative headspace as it is, without Fancy Suit Guy sitting across the aisle with his Pret bag.

The food itself wasn't too offensive but when he finished eating, he loudly sucked every finger clean. I was tempted to use the little emergency hammer to break a window and jump out (<not envy!)

A lot of people somehow make their mouths into an echoing cavern which they bring down to bear on the crisp as they eat them. I don’t know how to explain it, but there’s something about the gusto with which the crisp is approached that makes it more than just the sound of something crunchy being eaten.

Being on a train amplifies the effect further.

Agree about the unpleasantness, but someway down the list of things I would criminalise on public transport.

I am not sure any of us are serious about it being a crime, more that it can be really, really, really annoying!?

A few months ago my DSis and I went on a very long train journey to a funeral. On the way back we had to insist quite firmly on sitting in our booked table seats as a couple had bagged the spot and tried to spread out across all 4. They very grudgingly budged up and then it started. They first got out and munched through various bags of crunchy and smelly snack items, then sweets, then an actual keep warm stacked food container with stinking spicy something or other, and finally apples. The initial crunching was so bad we started to snigger and put ear pods in, and by the time we got off we were convulsed with laughter. It was appalling actually but so bad it was hilarious. It must have been obvious what we were laughing about and they doubtless thought we were the rude ones.

I once went to a movie with a friend who opened a thermos and started eating onion soup. 🤢

They absolutely stink. I feel queasy whenever anyone starts eating one, especially in a hot confined space.

If you don't mind me asking, how do you accidentally make egg mayo?