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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to buy this gift for my friend?

28 replies

Sophie2525 · 26/08/2023 22:33

I want to buy my friend a special gift for her birthday as she’s a very special friend. I had an idea of paying from someone to create a photo of her daughter and father (her father passed away a few years ago and never met her daughter). You know when they merge 2 photos into one like it was taken at the same time. I’ve seen this be done before and it seems very special, however I’m worried this could upset her as it’s what she would have wanted for them to meet. What do you think?

OP posts:
PrimalOwl10 · 26/08/2023 22:36

I would find its upsetting personally

WordWeird · 26/08/2023 22:37

Good intentions but no way. I would find it creepy to see.

TeaKitten · 26/08/2023 22:38

I’d find this upsetting, and if I did want it I’d want to arrange it myself as it’s so personal.

FasciaDreams · 26/08/2023 22:39

Bit creepy and too personal, no

whereeverilaymycat · 26/08/2023 22:39

I wouldn't. She might love it, but equally she may hate it. With something so personal it's not worth the risk, if she wanted something like this, better to let her do it herself.

IDriveMySupernova · 26/08/2023 22:39

I’d find it a bit odd, sorry.

QueenBitch666 · 26/08/2023 22:40

It's a big NO from me. Far too personal and her reaction could go either way

SwingingGentlyUnderTheMoon · 26/08/2023 22:41

I wouldn’t like this.

Definitely one to check with her in advance rather than just turning up with something.

1stepforward2stepsback · 26/08/2023 22:41

No I wouldn’t like to receive something like that, I would find it quite distressing. A kind thought, but a bad idea I’m afraid.

MrsB2603 · 26/08/2023 22:41

I wouldn’t personally like it, that’s just me, I find them a bit creepy as others have said, it is very personal but she may like it

wanttokickoffbutcant · 26/08/2023 22:42

No. My mother died before my daughter was born and I would not like this - lovely thought but no

FiddleLeaf · 26/08/2023 22:42

It’s thoughtful of you but personally, I wouldn’t. I would find it upsetting.

If you’ve found someone great at it then you could show her their work and she can do it if she wants to.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 26/08/2023 22:42

It's a no from me. It's not something for someone else to organise.

littlejo67 · 26/08/2023 22:44

As someone whose daughter and father are dead. I would hate it, it would be a reminder of the loss for me.
Do something nice for her that's going to give her pleasant memories.

freetheunicorn1 · 26/08/2023 22:44

It's also a no from me. My dad died before my child was born and I wouldn't like it.

PlanBea · 26/08/2023 22:46

Having lost my dad, I would hate to receive this as a gift and I would find it very upsetting. The thought comes from a kind place, but unless she has specifically mentioned this before, please don't.

Zaaarrr · 26/08/2023 22:47

My face is like this...Shock

No. This would not be something that you should do without a persons consent.

Autieangel · 26/08/2023 22:47

Very thoughtful but it's a no from me. It's too personal and she may hate it.

Original poster
Sophie2525 · 26/08/2023 22:49

I’m so glad I asked, I definitely won’t be doing it. I just saw it advertised and thought it was special but I can totally see why that would be upsetting. Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 26/08/2023 22:50

Totally grim

Please don't

Spirallingdownwards · 26/08/2023 22:51

People are being polite on here saying ots a lovely thought. It isn't

Fourlegsandatail · 26/08/2023 22:52

God no! I remember reading about Kanye West getting a hologram message of Kim Kardashian’s dead father for her birthday and just thought “wtf!!” This sounds like the Moonpig version of that.

Sorry OP as I appreciate it is well intentioned.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 26/08/2023 22:59

No I think it's too personal and there's no way of knowing if this would upset her

Mamai90 · 26/08/2023 23:00

I know two people who had it done so I definitely don't find ot creepy and think most would like it but I suppose its best not to just incase.

R4ID · 26/08/2023 23:04

No sorry I wouldn’t buy this as a gift due to the sensitive nature, it should only be something someone buys for themselves or specifically requests

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