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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'I wish that I knew what I know now....'

48 replies

ILoveMontyDon · 31/07/2023 20:49

There's a lot of stuff I know now that I wished I knew then. I've made a total mess f my life which could have been avoided if I'd 'known'.

What do you wish you'd have known? How would your life be different?

OP posts:
GettingStuffed · 31/07/2023 20:50

That I needed to work to get decent A level grades.

GettingStuffed · 31/07/2023 20:50

That I needed to work to get decent A level grades.

Tannedandfake · 31/07/2023 20:51

That cocklodgers shouldn’t be entertained, let alone marrie!

Barrell · 31/07/2023 20:52

That I wasn’t actually fat.

That I should’ve started saving money, a little bit a week, as soon as I started earning.

Original poster
ILoveMontyDon · 31/07/2023 20:52

Not just me then. 😂

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 31/07/2023 20:53

Don't date musicians seriously. Or marry them.

However, actually I love my life NOW and that's because I learned all my lessons the hard way. I might not have my lovely life if I hadn't been an utter fool for years.

megletthesecond · 31/07/2023 20:54

That you can take a subject that interests you at university but it doesn't mean your committed to doing it for life.
I'd have gone to uni if I'd known that.

Soonenough · 31/07/2023 20:55

That it was OK to leave him as he was cheating
Should have prepared for a career
Saved money instead of frittering it away
Had that 3rd child
Held on to that house

Original poster
ILoveMontyDon · 31/07/2023 20:55

Oh God MrsTerryPratchett...I will second that and raise a glass. Never again.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 31/07/2023 20:55

ILoveMontyDon · 31/07/2023 20:55

Oh God MrsTerryPratchett...I will second that and raise a glass. Never again.

Gin
BlastedPimples · 31/07/2023 20:56

@Soonenough ditto!

Soubriquet · 31/07/2023 20:56

That it’s probably best to have a mortgage and good savings in place before you have children

NuffSaidSam · 31/07/2023 20:58

That your comfort zone isn't static. It's constantly shrinking and you have to keep pushing at the edges to keep it where it is. You can't just find your comfort zone and live constantly within it unfortunately!

Or at least I can't. Maybe different for others.

JustAnotherRandom · 31/07/2023 20:59

That 'pushing through' post covid can screw your future.

quietnightmare · 31/07/2023 21:01

Be confident and go for what you want

Spent my teens in hell terrified what people thought of me and too scared to go for decent job in my early twenties but got there in the end

Jellykat · 31/07/2023 21:06

That being single is actually great.. you shouldn't have put up with shit (in various guises), because you were scared of being lonely!

Original poster
ILoveMontyDon · 31/07/2023 21:10

I wish I hadn't lost all my hope and confidence but it's just all gone. It's hard to get it back. I feel older - I look older. Oh my my. I'll get it back together but it feels hard, and would have been a lot easier if I hadn't made a mess of it all in the first place. I feel bad that that I've been so very stupid.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 31/07/2023 21:15

ILoveMontyDon · 31/07/2023 21:10

I wish I hadn't lost all my hope and confidence but it's just all gone. It's hard to get it back. I feel older - I look older. Oh my my. I'll get it back together but it feels hard, and would have been a lot easier if I hadn't made a mess of it all in the first place. I feel bad that that I've been so very stupid.

This is the long dark teatime of the soul. Every hero needs one otherwise the film of your life would be boring. I had mine. Then it will all turn around.

Mark my words.

HappiDaze · 31/07/2023 21:16

Watch Barbie it'll make you feel more at ease with yourself and where you are in life

Original poster
ILoveMontyDon · 31/07/2023 21:20

Ah MrsTerryPratchett - Kind words. Thank you so much. I hope you are right.

HappiDaze - Thanks for the recommendation. Hopefully Barbie will rescue me. 😂

OP posts:
something2say · 31/07/2023 21:25

Why should we not go out with musicians? I'm one! I dated a famous one for five years - no big deal??

ScarletWitchM · 31/07/2023 21:27

To have started putting into my company pension plan from the start. Didn’t expect to stay with the company for over 10 years and have only paid in half the time. Could have had double the savings

UncleRadley · 31/07/2023 21:27

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/07/2023 20:53

Don't date musicians seriously. Or marry them.

However, actually I love my life NOW and that's because I learned all my lessons the hard way. I might not have my lovely life if I hadn't been an utter fool for years.

Thirded! Didn't get as far as marrying either of them, thank god!

Clingymcclang · 31/07/2023 21:28

I wish I knew not to subscribe to other people’s bullshit, like if someone acts superior it doesn’t generally mean that they are.

Also, to leave my eyebrows alone

UncleRadley · 31/07/2023 21:30

Not really worth going to university to do an arts subject, even if it's a very good university. Should have got a job and bought a house for 20k at 18 instead of moving to London and not being able to get on the property ladder until my thirties (although had a lot of fun!)