'I wish that I knew what I know now....'

[ILoveMontyDon]

There's a lot of stuff I know now that I wished I knew then. I've made a total mess f my life which could have been avoided if I'd 'known'.

What do you wish you'd have known? How would your life be different?

And yes to eyebrows.

Don't date musicians seriously. Or marry them.

Harsh. Possibly fair, depending on the musician.

That I should have moved back to london before I got used to money going further in the north

In defence of musicians, I should say it was someone who was 'in a band '- so I've used the term very casually, and meant absolutely no offence at all to proper musicians.

Mine was Peter Pan and the Fucked Up Lost Boys.

Apologies where required.

For me, it's that happiness is not a future event. It's not some thing that appears when such and such happens, it is now with the people I'm with now, and the things I have now.

"There is no 'there' - it is all 'here.'

Saved more and started good budgeting habits earlier.

Not been so afraid of what people thought of me when I was younger.

fully appreciated how good I looked in those little dresses in my youth 😄

To stop watching Game of Thrones after the episode where the Night King is defeated and just make up my own ending in my head.

Well I'm sick of trying to do this life all on my own and this is how it's probably going to be FOREVER, so sorry not to share your optimism HappiestSleeping. ...Although, if you don't mind me saying, your username doesn't suggest that you're living your best life either if you'd be happier being asleep. 😂

To get therapy aged 18 and leave my family then

To have married my lovely kind find and intelligent boyfriends instead of dumping him as he wasn’t mean to me or nasty like Father.

That I might not have my family, but I have made a family and they are great and I don’t need a parent to tell me that I’m doing well - I am good enough

I think I asked the wrong question. There's nothing I can do about the past, but how do you get it together at 47 as a single parent on your own? 😬It just seems so hard.

Power to your elbow Dukeydo!

Just saluting your username OP.

iirc Monty Don overcame some tough times in his younger years. I find him a soothing watch on GW.

I've never regretted Monty, Laiste. 😂At least I for one thing right. 😂

You are not 'so mature for your age' and in fact the kind of man who tells you that you are is attracted to you precisely because of your naivety.

Don't date people who aren't on your wavelength - wasted a fair few months earlier in life with girls who just weren't worth it

Go everywhere everything - no one is going to get me to an avant garde theatre production or a rave but sports events, gigs shows get out there and do it

I wish I'd never come back to England. I wish I'd settled abroad where we had a great life and lots of friends, instead of moving to be "closer to family" when I was pregnant with DC1, this is family who have never once visited us, are never there for us, never even phone or text.

I also wish I'd never gone ahead with the TFMR for DC1. I miss her every day. I know you're not supposed to and we're supposed to console ourselves with the idea that they're not real until they're full term but she was real and I wish I'd let her go to term because then at least I'd have been able to hold her even just once.

@monpetitlapin

I did not actually know it all when I was 21

If he still drinks too much by the time he's 28, leave him.
Other women are your team mates, not your rivals.
The easiest way cut up raw chicken breast is with a pair of scissors.

We don't know what we don't know.

You haven't been stupid, you have just been been younger and known less.

We learn more as we get older and get exposed to more.

Don't beat yourself up. You did what you thought was right at the time, without the knowledge you didn't have then, but have now. And that's ok 💐

What have you gained from the hard times and taking the hard route?

Oh I've just seen the answer to that in a follow up post!...you have a child! Well if you'd not got together with your ex, then you wouldn't have your wonderful child. You may have some other child. But not the wonderful one you now have. So something good has definitely come from the decisions you made...

@monpetitlapin I am so sorry. I do know that my little pity party is not on the same level. I am ever so sorry.

Thanks for all the kindness here. I have really appreciated it. @Over50usernamesNow - thank you.