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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a sixth former shouldn't date a university student?

53 replies

snel · 05/05/2023 17:43

My ds is 17, soon to be 18. He's met on tinder a 19 year old second year at a university city about 40 miles away from our house. An hour on the train. I know he shouldn't be on tinder but I left him to it as long as he told me who he was meeting and where. Does anyone else think this is a bit weird?

OP posts:
Motorcycleemptyness · 05/05/2023 17:45

You sound controlling. There’s not even two years between them! As a 19 year old uni student I would have been uninterested in a 17 year old living at home attending a sixth form college but it’s hardly a scandalous age gap. Catch on a bit.

Gollumsring · 05/05/2023 17:46

Not weird

Simianwalk · 05/05/2023 17:46

That age gap is fine!

theswoot · 05/05/2023 17:47

I am a wary of age gaps type of person when it comes to young people but I don’t think this one is an issue.

Technonan · 05/05/2023 17:47

No. Perfectly normal.

Namechange1345677 · 05/05/2023 17:47

Nothing strange here

PiffleIsTakingThePiss · 05/05/2023 17:47

At 17 you shouldn't be policing anything he does unless it's illegal. Dating someone two years older from another town is, currently at least, still legal.
Horribly controlling of you.

Daffodilwoman · 05/05/2023 17:49

Of course it’s not weird.
Now if it was a 47 year old is trying to date him then I’d agree with you.

PinkiOcelot · 05/05/2023 17:49

Ehh?!

NoWeaponsOnTheTable · 05/05/2023 17:49

I think your 18 year old adult child can date who they like, despite what your opinion is!
Hard to let them.go, but you have to.

JANetChick · 05/05/2023 17:50

I wouldn’t worry too much, OP.

BeaLola · 05/05/2023 17:50

That wouldn't bother me - it's a couple of years - he could be dating your friend !

ToWhitToWhoo · 05/05/2023 17:51

I think YABU. The student isn't in a position of responsibility toward him, and it's hardly even a huge age difference.

Ceci03 · 05/05/2023 17:51

I don't see the problem? I hope you haven't said anything to him. The only thing that would concern me is if it affects his study. Not worth it imo as they could break up any time Angry

JuneShitfield · 05/05/2023 17:51

Only issue I see here is that Tinder terms of service say you have to be 18 to use it.

Ormally · 05/05/2023 17:52

YABU. Not only was I dating a university student while in sixth form, I went to Germany with them (where they were then studying) for several weeks once I had left school. Parents happy? No, clearly, but didn't forbid it. Didn't last into university years but stayed as a very valuable friendship.

LadyPenelope68 · 05/05/2023 17:52

Nothing thing strange at all, why do you think it’s strange?

Liverpoodle · 05/05/2023 17:52

No problem, I’m fact I was in sixth form when I started dating my 3 years older now husband.
What exactly are you worried about?

Dotcheck · 05/05/2023 17:55

What did you think would happen if he was on tinder?

Odd that you think the effort of meeting someone is ok, but the result isn’t

GuinnessBird · 05/05/2023 17:56

That's absolutely fine.

MintJulia · 05/05/2023 18:00

So a 19yo dates an almost 18yo. I don't see the issue?

OriginalUsername2 · 05/05/2023 18:00

I would wonder about the girl. Most are looking across and up the age range rather than down. But I wouldn’t be too concerned.

Mariposista · 05/05/2023 18:01

So he is going out with someone who is just over a year older than him??? How is that weird? I would be more concerned if he was dating the university lecturer!

FuckNuggets · 05/05/2023 18:03

Seriously? It's 2 years! It's not like he's in year 9 or 10!

Butchyrestingface · 05/05/2023 18:03

snel · 05/05/2023 17:43

My ds is 17, soon to be 18. He's met on tinder a 19 year old second year at a university city about 40 miles away from our house. An hour on the train. I know he shouldn't be on tinder but I left him to it as long as he told me who he was meeting and where. Does anyone else think this is a bit weird?

I think a 19 year old university student is one of the tamer things a nearly-18 year old could be picking up on Tinder.

Unless you've missed a bit out in your post, like the 19 year old is into cosplay involving walking partner around the streets on a leash dressed up like a Basset hound.

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