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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a sixth former shouldn't date a university student?

53 replies

snel · 05/05/2023 17:43

My ds is 17, soon to be 18. He's met on tinder a 19 year old second year at a university city about 40 miles away from our house. An hour on the train. I know he shouldn't be on tinder but I left him to it as long as he told me who he was meeting and where. Does anyone else think this is a bit weird?

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 05/05/2023 18:04

So he is Upper Sixth and she is in her first year of Uni ? I have teenagers and that wouldn’t bother me at all.

londonrach · 05/05/2023 18:04

Very normal..only a two year age gap. It's strange you think it not normal

Hellocatshome · 05/05/2023 18:05

A 2 year age gap is perfectly fine. I know to you he still seems young because he's still at "school" but if he hadn't gone to 6th form he could have been working for at least a year already.

QuickGuide · 05/05/2023 18:08

I'd guess he's lied abiut his age and she's blissfully unaware she's going out with a schoolchild. Surely if he'd been honest he wouldn't have a Tinder account?

I don't think the age gap in itself is a problem, but there's a world of difference in maturity between a 17yo schoolboy and a woman who's been living away from home for 2 years. It is odd that she'd want to be involved in that IMO.

EmmetEmma · 05/05/2023 18:10

I think it’s ok - but I understand a bit where you are coming from OP - they are at different stages even though the age gap is small.

Hellocatshome · 05/05/2023 18:10

QuickGuide · 05/05/2023 18:08

I'd guess he's lied abiut his age and she's blissfully unaware she's going out with a schoolchild. Surely if he'd been honest he wouldn't have a Tinder account?

I don't think the age gap in itself is a problem, but there's a world of difference in maturity between a 17yo schoolboy and a woman who's been living away from home for 2 years. It is odd that she'd want to be involved in that IMO.

As I said above he's only a school boy because he chose to stay at school if he's in 2nd year he could have been working for nearly 2 years or beein in the Army for 2 years etc. 6th formers are not children.

Liverpoodle · 05/05/2023 18:10

Is this a reverse?

QuickGuide · 05/05/2023 18:13

Hellocatshome · 05/05/2023 18:10

As I said above he's only a school boy because he chose to stay at school if he's in 2nd year he could have been working for nearly 2 years or beein in the Army for 2 years etc. 6th formers are not children.

Show quote history

Yes, but he didn't. I stayed on at school while many of my friends went to work and all of a sudden they were much "older" than me with completely different, more adult interests and outlook.

x2boys · 05/05/2023 18:17

.mumsnet is, weird about eating and ages ,there is less than teo.years between them ,can't see a problem.

x2boys · 05/05/2023 18:18

Dating!*

willWillSmithsmith · 05/05/2023 18:20

OriginalUsername2 · 05/05/2023 18:00

I would wonder about the girl. Most are looking across and up the age range rather than down. But I wouldn’t be too concerned.

My son’s gf is three years older than him. It’s not a problem and she is lovely.

TheSingingBean · 05/05/2023 18:21

I can’t believe this is an issue…… when I was 19 I was dating my now husband who is 2.5 years younger than me.

We celebrate our 39th anniversary this year.

willWillSmithsmith · 05/05/2023 18:23

QuickGuide · 05/05/2023 18:08

I'd guess he's lied abiut his age and she's blissfully unaware she's going out with a schoolchild. Surely if he'd been honest he wouldn't have a Tinder account?

I don't think the age gap in itself is a problem, but there's a world of difference in maturity between a 17yo schoolboy and a woman who's been living away from home for 2 years. It is odd that she'd want to be involved in that IMO.

Schoolchild? Have you seen sixth formers who go to sixth form college rather than school? You wouldn’t be calling them children. He’s almost 18 anyway, that’s an adult and 19 is hardly shocking. I have no idea about this situation though as I don’t know them.

Phos · 05/05/2023 18:24

I think you need to give your head a wobble if I'm honest. When I was in Y12, my boyfriend was a second year at uni and it was absolutely fine. There's only 2 years between these two.

willWillSmithsmith · 05/05/2023 18:26

TheSingingBean · 05/05/2023 18:21

I can’t believe this is an issue…… when I was 19 I was dating my now husband who is 2.5 years younger than me.

We celebrate our 39th anniversary this year.

I have a friend who was 24 and had been working since she was 16 who met a twenty one year old Uni student, who’d never worked a ‘proper’ job. They’ve been married years and have three kids. She’s not weird, he’s not weird.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 05/05/2023 18:26

OriginalUsername2 · 05/05/2023 18:00

I would wonder about the girl. Most are looking across and up the age range rather than down. But I wouldn’t be too concerned.

Could be a boy, the sex of the student is not specified.

I think either you are happy for him to be on Tinder or not. Surely most people on there will be older than him.

brunettemic · 05/05/2023 18:31

Is the concern the age or the different lives they lead? Your post implies it’s about age and I think that’s fine. I can sort of see your point as a 2nd year university student lives in a wider/bigger world than a sixth former.

x2boys · 05/05/2023 18:34

willWillSmithsmith · 05/05/2023 18:23

Schoolchild? Have you seen sixth formers who go to sixth form college rather than school? You wouldn’t be calling them children. He’s almost 18 anyway, that’s an adult and 19 is hardly shocking. I have no idea about this situation though as I don’t know them.

Show quote history

Well.indeed m 16 year old has a few weeks left in year 11 ,and will be stating college in September,he has a full beard,and hairy chest he recently spent time in hospital and was admitted to the adult wards, mumsnet is weird about ages.

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 05/05/2023 18:36

This can't be real. If it is, you're controlling.

hooveringknob · 05/05/2023 18:36

I went out with a university student when I was in sixth form.
It's not a huge age gap.

Desmondo2021 · 05/05/2023 18:37

My now 18.5 year old has been with his very nearly 20 year old girlfriend for about 18 months. Not quite the same gap and they met at college not Tinder but still I'm really not sure what your issue is.

almostoverthehill · 05/05/2023 18:45

OriginalUsername2 · 05/05/2023 18:00

I would wonder about the girl. Most are looking across and up the age range rather than down. But I wouldn’t be too concerned.

Doesn’t say a girl

EmmaEmerald · 05/05/2023 18:53

Seems fine to me

CabernetSauvignon · 05/05/2023 19:03

That's a very typical age gap between partners, What on earth is wrong with it?

EllandRd · 05/05/2023 19:13

Not weird and stop interfering.

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