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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm unsure I have my dogs cremation asges back

27 replies

Newbie1243 · 23/04/2023 10:51

I lost my best friend friday 21st April , the cremation company picked him up at 6pm on Friday night, wanting one last good bye I phoned the company at 8am to ask if I could see him one last time befor the cremation, they foned me bk 20 minutes later and said he was cremated at 7am , next thing I get a phone call at 9.30am askimg if I was at home to deliver my pets back ashes bk, I thought that was fast he was 20kg surely it must take longer than 2 hours 30 minutes to cremate a large dog and process the bones ect has anyone else experienced this or nows if that time frame is correct for a cremation Of that size dog I'm heartbroken, the box I also recived was tiny fits in my hand , it like what I'd expect a small animal like a cat to be in

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 23/04/2023 10:53

That sounds very dodgy. My cats ashes were in quite a large, heavy tube. I had to wait three days for them and this was a country cremation service that wasn't very busy.
I think you need to approach them about your concerns.

Newbie1243 · 23/04/2023 10:55

@Gettingbysomehow that's what i think I payed the extra for a single cremation and I was told 2 to 3 days

OP posts:
Ourshoddyhouse · 23/04/2023 10:55

I've had 2 rabbits cremated and I can't remember the specifics but it took a few days at least.

Was it an individual cremation?

Ourshoddyhouse · 23/04/2023 10:56

Sorrycross posted .

I'd definitely raise concerns with them.

Sorry for your loss 😔

JMSA · 23/04/2023 10:57

So sorry for your loss Flowers

Newbie1243 · 23/04/2023 10:58

@Ourshoddyhouse yes I asked for him to cremated on his own but the time frame is whats getting me most 7am he was cremated and was back at home by 10am

OP posts:
SmirnoffIceIsNice · 23/04/2023 11:01

I would also be suspicious about this. As well as the length of time it would take to cremate, they also have to wait for the ashes to cool afterwards before they can bag and box them. I have two lots of golden retriever ashes and the boxes for each wouldn't fit in one hand.

Sorry for your loss OP.

Gnr24 · 23/04/2023 11:02

So sorry for your loss
We lost our dog in October, it was also on a Friday, so we were told she wouldn't be cremated until at least Monday afternoon,

Had a text from them on Tuesday to say it was done.
Ashes were here 2 days later.
My dog was also 20kg her ashes are In a wooden box , which is about 25 cm x 8 cm .

You're right to be concerned and should phone them about your worries.

IchWill · 23/04/2023 11:03

So sorry for your loss. We lost both of our beautiful dogs 7 weeks apart last year. It was horrendous I'm still broken by it. Hopefully my experience will give you some comfort.

We used a local pet cremation service and both times followed the man with our dogs from vets to his premises, where he had a little 'chapel of rest' area where our dogs were laid out with candles around them etc, so we could have a final goodbye, he also let me see the cremation room, and was very helpful in explaining process. I asked if our dogs could get mixed up and he assured us that wouldn't happen, he had no other dogs that day, but even if he had there's robust systems in place to ensure they don't get mixed up.

The pet crematorium was 30 mins from our house and the man said that dogs take between 30 mins and 2 hours. Depending on size and other factors. So said we could either take a walk around the little town and wait then go back to collect, or he'd bring the ashes to our home.

We opted to hang around in town. Both our dogs weighed 30kg + and he had them ready to collect just after two hours, that included time to sort the remains and put them into an urn.

If you feel really unsure. I'd suggest you share your fears with the crematorium and see what they say.

Hope you have the support around you at this horribly upsetting time. ❤️

PinkFootstool · 23/04/2023 11:03

Google says its 45-120mins for a dog to be cremated depending on size, so the times might be fine.

The size of the remains seem off though. We've just got our 15kg dog back in her wee case and I was surprised at how heavy it is as we also got our 3kg cat back last year and she came back in a tiny case like you describe.

I'm sorry, it's so hard losing them.

IchWill · 23/04/2023 11:04

For people saying it took a few days, it does with a larger cremation company, but smaller companies can process pets quicker.

IchWill · 23/04/2023 11:08

We had the same size casket for both our dogs. Small, but heavy.

I'm unsure I have my dogs cremation asges back
KrisAkabusi · 23/04/2023 11:27

Our golden retriever, 20kg, came back in a cardboard tube a bit bigger than a pringles tube, but a lot heavier.

Livebythecoast · 23/04/2023 11:30

So sorry for your loss 💐.

Definitely raise your concerns with them.

Iwasafool · 23/04/2023 11:30

IchWill · 23/04/2023 11:08

We had the same size casket for both our dogs. Small, but heavy.

That looks exactly like the casket we got for our collie.

HoppingPavlova · 23/04/2023 11:34

I’m so sorry OP. It’s such a shit time, you definitely don’t need the extra stress of this aspect on top. Even if the worst does come to pass in regards to the ashes, take solace in the fact your dog knew a lifetime of love and care from you.

IchWill · 23/04/2023 11:35

Iwasafool · 23/04/2023 11:30

That looks exactly like the casket we got for our collie.

My dog before my last two was a large Collie and yes, exactly the same size casket for her too.

My friend lost her French Mastiff / Dogue de Bordeaux, be weighed over 50kg and has a much bigger and heavier casket than the ones I have.

Beadyeyes91 · 23/04/2023 11:59

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a dog and he is my best friend. I can't imagine how you feel.

I worked in a vets and they have a certain day (normally once a week) where beloved pets are collected and according to the owners wishes cremated and returned etc.

This whole process normally takes around a week to 10 days.

Sometimes if it is a larger than normal dog and we don't have room to store eg another pet was put down that day then we will call the company and they can collect the animal that day.

However it is still a wait of at least a few days before the ashes come back.

I have tried to word this as sensitively as possible. I'm so sorry but I would definitely question the quick turnaround.

PinkFootstool · 23/04/2023 15:42

@Beadyeyes91 I think you've missed the part where the OP has directly dealing with the crematorium rather than going via a third party like the vets. Going via a vet will indeed take time. Going directly can well be same day.

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/04/2023 15:52

If you've gone direct to the crem rather than via your vets, where animals are picked up on a set day each week and dropped back the next week, then yes, next day and within hours of being cremated IS perfectly normal.

They have several cremators - of varying sizes, because firing up something that would deal with a shire horse for a budgie or rabbit or yorkie would be horribly expensive!

Smaller cremulator, smaller time to cool and processing after does not take long either, certainly no where near as long as it takes with a human.

So yes, I have no doubt that this is your dogs ashes - pet crems take the whole thing very seriously and smaller businesses will cremate and return ashes fast.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 23/04/2023 16:07

I went to my local pet crematorium directly and the process took about an hour each time but that was for cats and the appointment booked for a specific time.

Are the people you have used accredited through the IAOPCC (International Association of Pet Cemeteries and Crematories)? The one we used is and they seem to adhere to high standards and a code of conduct.

So sorry for the loss of your pal. Flowers

CaptainCorellisXylophone · 23/04/2023 16:18

I had not previously given this any thought, but my father's ashes came back in a bag that was about the size of a bag of flour. Maybe a little bit bigger. It's symbolic. It didn't occur to me to check that we had "all of him".

APseudonymNeeded · 23/04/2023 16:20

Gettingbysomehow · 23/04/2023 10:53

That sounds very dodgy. My cats ashes were in quite a large, heavy tube. I had to wait three days for them and this was a country cremation service that wasn't very busy.
I think you need to approach them about your concerns.

There is a pet crematorium near us. There is a little walk and a coffee shop and you collect the ashes within the hour. It’s a very professional operation.

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/04/2023 17:15

CaptainCorellisXylophone · 23/04/2023 16:18

I had not previously given this any thought, but my father's ashes came back in a bag that was about the size of a bag of flour. Maybe a little bit bigger. It's symbolic. It didn't occur to me to check that we had "all of him".

It is 'all' of him, bar anything that wouldn't burn or couldn't be ground up after (remains are ground to dust afterwards). A human is about a flour bag worth of cremains.

gogohmm · 23/04/2023 17:21

Human cremation remains can be collected 4-6 hours after they are lowered in the chapel if arranged in advance. We have had people who have interred the same day because of people flying/long distance away. An 80kg human fits in a roses tin (yes someone brought the ashes in one!)