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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should my 8 year old nephew have his hair permed?

92 replies

KateGrace · 02/04/2023 16:00

My 8 year old nephew has disclosed to his dad (my brother) this weekend that his mum is going to get his hair permed. My brother has asked his ex not to get it done as he is too young. She refuses to listen and has stated that she is going ahead with it anyway. Are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MrsDoylesDoily · 02/04/2023 16:01

Google says YANBU.

PooCurtain · 02/04/2023 16:02

What does nephew want?

CurlewKate · 02/04/2023 16:02

Whose idea is it?

Oysterbabe · 02/04/2023 16:02

They can't do that to the poor kid.

randomuser2020 · 02/04/2023 16:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Rewis · 02/04/2023 16:03

What does the kid want? If he does, what's the concern?

Original poster
KateGrace · 02/04/2023 16:03

I don’t that he really understands what a perm is and knowing his mum, she will have talked him into it.

OP posts:
MrsDoylesDoily · 02/04/2023 16:04

Rewis · 02/04/2023 16:03

What does the kid want? If he does, what's the concern?

Damage.

Dotcheck · 02/04/2023 16:04

It’s only hair. What do you imagine will happen? Lots of boys seem to be getting the top bit of their hair permed.

Merangutan · 02/04/2023 16:04

Sounds awful. But… if she refuses to listen and does it anyway because she’s so wilful, then she’ll also have to accept his dreadful perm being cut off without it being a unanimous agreement, won’t she?

Smartiepants79 · 02/04/2023 16:05

Does the child want it?? If not why on Earth would you perm an eight year olds hair if they haven’t asked for it??
I believe a lot of salons won’t perform chemical treatments on kids under a certain age. Probably for a good reason.
Sadly, I’m not entirely sure she can actually be stopped though if she’s found someone who will do it.
A big part for me would be if the nephew was on board or not?

Theluggage15 · 02/04/2023 16:05

No proper hairdresser would do this until he’s sixteen.

thegrain · 02/04/2023 16:05

Are we being unreasonable? it's not your decision. The parents should discuss sensibly and decide.

Ponoka7 · 02/04/2023 16:05

Rewis · 02/04/2023 16:03

What does the kid want? If he does, what's the concern?

The chemicals used shouldn't be used on a child under 14 even with parental permission.

MrsDoylesDoily · 02/04/2023 16:06

A big part for me would be if the nephew was on board or not?

This should be neither here nor there when it comes to using harsh chemicals on a child purely for cosmetic reasons.

Arapawa · 02/04/2023 16:06

Ridiculous. He's a child. He doesn't have the authority to decide this and it sounds like the mother is bonkers.

MajorCarolDanvers · 02/04/2023 16:07

Dad takes son to hair dresser first and gets a #2 or #3 cut all over.

Hair cut problem solved

But co-parenting relationship remains just as bad

Sorryyoufeelthatway · 02/04/2023 16:08

Its not “just hair”. Relaxers used on African textured hair have recently shown to cause fibroids and cancer.

Why on earth would an 8 year old want a perm? It must come from the adults or they are left on tiktok all day. Awful.

lemonyellows · 02/04/2023 16:09

I know it's fashionable now but 8 is too young for such harsh chemicals

Smartiepants79 · 02/04/2023 16:09

Ponoka7 · 02/04/2023 16:05

The chemicals used shouldn't be used on a child under 14 even with parental permission.

Show quote history

I do agree with you but if the child also doesn’t want it then it’s twice as awful.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/04/2023 16:11

Even if the kid had wanted it, it's a no from me. Perming is incredibly damaging for hair. If a kid that age had begged to have their hair dyed blue would you do it?

Who on earth even perms their hair these days? I didn't think anyone had done it since the late 1980s?

PinkSyCo · 02/04/2023 16:12

No decent hairdresser would agree to using all those nasty chemicals on such a young child’s head. YANBU.

bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyza · 02/04/2023 16:12

Boy in my sons class has it permed on top.

MrsColinRobinson · 02/04/2023 16:15

I wouldn't dream of doing it to my kids but YABU for thinking this is any of your business.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 02/04/2023 16:15

It's a hair style not a tattoo. Chill man.

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