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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should my 8 year old nephew have his hair permed?

92 replies

KateGrace · 02/04/2023 16:00

My 8 year old nephew has disclosed to his dad (my brother) this weekend that his mum is going to get his hair permed. My brother has asked his ex not to get it done as he is too young. She refuses to listen and has stated that she is going ahead with it anyway. Are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 02/04/2023 16:15

bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyza · 02/04/2023 16:12

Boy in my sons class has it permed on top.

If its all the rage (even if its a rage I've gladly missed) then it makes it more difficult to say no. But I too thought there were rules around using perming solution on under 16s. Probably just means you have to have parents' consent though and this parent sounds like they'll hold the kid down and put the rollers in themselves!

PinkSyCo · 02/04/2023 16:18

MrsColinRobinson · 02/04/2023 16:15

I wouldn't dream of doing it to my kids but YABU for thinking this is any of your business.

Maybe OP cares about her nephew and her brother.

Flowerblooms · 02/04/2023 16:18

Must be the ‘in’ thing at the moment among the boys. I can think of at least 10 boys off the top of my head that have permed hair at the moment. They are all aged between 10 and 13 though not 8.

Theluggage15 · 02/04/2023 16:19

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 02/04/2023 16:15

It's a hair style not a tattoo. Chill man.

It’s not a hairstyle, it’s a chemical treatment, ‘man’

Tellmethespoiler · 02/04/2023 16:20

No decent hairdresser would do this on a child so young.

GeekyThings · 02/04/2023 16:23

YANBU, perms are bad enough for adults hair and scalps, an 8 year old is way too young. No good hairdresser would do this, and she's risking injury if she does it at home.

What an idiot!

MrsDoylesDoily · 02/04/2023 16:24

Theluggage15 · 02/04/2023 16:19

It’s not a hairstyle, it’s a chemical treatment, ‘man’

Show quote history

Exactly.

It makes me wonder if some people are living with the damaging after effects...

Goldenbear · 02/04/2023 16:25

Ridiculous, also using chemicals that are probably a waste of time as if you have poker straight thin hair it probably won't hold. I think people and children should just embrace their natural texture. My DS has wavy/curly hair that looks good in a surfer kind of style without any effort. His cousin has very straight hair but is always trying to make it wavy but it just doesn't stick. He looks really good with it short. Obviously, his hair but it seems silly to go to that effort if your hair is just not that texture.

kwetu · 02/04/2023 16:26

In our area loads of lads are getting what we used to call in the 80's a 'poodle perm' my 10yo is desperate to get his done, is a no from me so far.

Refrosty · 02/04/2023 16:27

OP, is your nephew black or mixed race?

I only ask because this topic has been an ongoing one in my community, and finally we (black people) are mostly steering our kids (and parents who don't know better) away from perms/relaxers from a young age. It's usually a female issue though. This debate has been helped by the fact there have been links to these chemicals and cancers (as these girls age into women).

I'm obviously against children perming/relaxing their hair. YANBU, but unfortunately you have no control over it.

LadyPenelope68 · 02/04/2023 16:28

It’s the fashion at the minute with young boys/teenagers to have the top part of their hair permed and shorter at the sides. I’m a Year 6 teacher and 50% of the 10/11 year old boys in my class have this style - it’s awful!

Slimjimtobe · 02/04/2023 16:29

Crazy
I’ve an 8 year old and a this would be a no go from me. I don’t like lines but if they want them in the holidays I’ll go for it but a perm is so silly for a young boy - if they have natural curls that is beautiful but not a fake perm

BeautifulWar · 02/04/2023 16:31

It’s only hair. What do you imagine will happen? Lots of boys seem to be getting the top bit of their hair permed

Oh right, so that's the llama look (or is it alpaca?) that I've been seeing! I was shocked a child would want a perm, imagining some kind of 70s/80s Terry and Barry vibe 😂

Seriously though, no hairdresser in their right mind would do this! Far too many chemicals for a child!

MrsDoylesDoily · 02/04/2023 16:31

kwetu · 02/04/2023 16:26

In our area loads of lads are getting what we used to call in the 80's a 'poodle perm' my 10yo is desperate to get his done, is a no from me so far.

Think it's called a 'Meet me at McDonalds' hairstyle now.

No idea why though?

VictorianBathroomTiles · 02/04/2023 16:32

Sorryyoufeelthatway · 02/04/2023 16:08

Its not “just hair”. Relaxers used on African textured hair have recently shown to cause fibroids and cancer.

Why on earth would an 8 year old want a perm? It must come from the adults or they are left on tiktok all day. Awful.

This!

BeautifulWar · 02/04/2023 16:34

If he's so keen on this look, can't his mum invest in some bendy curlers and curl it overnight?

Zanatdy · 02/04/2023 16:35

God no, not at that age

Lochjeda · 02/04/2023 16:37

Yes what is the issue? My 10 year old has his done. He just grew it long enough and now its like he has short naturally curly hair and it looks lovely.

Allmyghosts · 02/04/2023 16:39

I had my hair permed when i was young, the curls never really held and I had one roller break off so had a row of spiky hair on the top of my head for a bit haha. I obviously died from this, a cautionary tale.

Lochjeda · 02/04/2023 16:39

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/04/2023 16:11

Even if the kid had wanted it, it's a no from me. Perming is incredibly damaging for hair. If a kid that age had begged to have their hair dyed blue would you do it?

Who on earth even perms their hair these days? I didn't think anyone had done it since the late 1980s?

Its damaging? Its a boy, hel likely be wanting it all shaved off in a couple of months! Its not like a girl who is going to keep it long and growing

Dustyblue · 02/04/2023 16:47

The hairdressers over there must be waaay better than here in Oz!

Apparently, they don't even teach perming in the apprenticeship now. Shame really, I had my thin hair permed in my teens and loved the riot of curls (ahh, the 80's).

For an 8 y/o? Hmm, it's a lot of chemicals, and as I recall you have to sit in the chair for hours. My 6 y/o couldn't take it. And I wouldn't do it.

Tellmethespoiler · 02/04/2023 16:47

Lochjeda · 02/04/2023 16:37

Yes what is the issue? My 10 year old has his done. He just grew it long enough and now its like he has short naturally curly hair and it looks lovely.

Lots of people have explained what the issue is. Decent hairdressers won’t do it- the child can’t give informed consent. Chemicals in your body are not a good idea. Irresponsible, crap parenting.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/04/2023 16:47

But why? It's naff as fuck, expensive and damaging for the hair. Just don't see the upside.

Bananasinpjamas4567 · 02/04/2023 16:49

I think people are skirting around the really bad injuries that can be caused by perming lotion including skin burns, blindness and permanent hair loss (caused by burns). These risks are all relatively low when done by a proper professional but let’s face it, a proper professional is not going to risk their insurance by perming an 8 year old.

diddl · 02/04/2023 16:53

Is it likely he told his dad because he doesn't want it doing?

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