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AIBU?

To be annoyed that DH is in pub?

12 replies

Moanymyrt · 25/01/2023 23:47

DH does shift work and finishes at 10:30/11 this week. He is working in the city so is not driving and I drop him to station in the afternoon, collect him at night (around 11:30 usually)

he normally texts when he gets on train so I know when to leave but hadn’t heard from him, I text twice to ask if he was finished and what time his train was and he didn’t reply so I called him. (He’s been online about 10:30 so probably got off a bit early) and he’s in the pub.

usually I wouldn’t care as much but.

  1. I’ve that annoying cough that seems to be lasting years so up a lot in the night so quite tired
  2. I’m not the biggest fan of driving late at night and the station isn’t in a nice area so normally lots of speeding cars / blue light police vans to navigate
  3. (Probably the least annoying thing but still really annoyed me 😂) I have some friends staying this week and they were having some wine and I have had to not have a glass as i have to collect him


just bothers me that he knows I don’t like driving super late, knows id have probably wanted a glass of wine with friends and knows I’m tired and didn’t come straight home. I wouldn’t mind on a Thursday or Friday as he does go out often on those nights but it’s bloody Wednesday and I just want to have a glass of wine and go to bed.

am I being a bunny boiler or do I have a right to be annoyed?

(I know it’s only 11:45 but if he’s still in the city in the pub god knows what time he’ll get back - I assume about 1 as he’s working tmro)
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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Zola1 · 25/01/2023 23:49

I'd be telling him that he needs to make his own way home from the station...unless you're Uber, he needs to give you the respect of some notice that his plans have changed!

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WineDup · 25/01/2023 23:50

Zola1 · 25/01/2023 23:49

I'd be telling him that he needs to make his own way home from the station...unless you're Uber, he needs to give you the respect of some notice that his plans have changed!

Yeah, this. If he isn’t there at the normal time, he makes his own way back.

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Dartmoorcheffy · 25/01/2023 23:50

Pour yourself a large glass of wine and tell him to book a cab.

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alibongo5 · 25/01/2023 23:52

If either I or my husband are out and need a lift we always communicate to check that our plans fit in with the person giving a lift. Rude not to in my opinion.

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MintJulia · 25/01/2023 23:52

Maybe he doesn't like your friends

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Moanymyrt · 25/01/2023 23:54

Thanks ladies. Wine poured, I am glad to know IANBU

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DuplicateUserName · 25/01/2023 23:54

If you wanted a glass of wine with your friends, why on earth didn't you tell him he'd have to take a cab tonight anyway, just like he would if your car was out of order?

He's rude though, he should've sent a quick text to let you know.

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Deathbyfluffy · 25/01/2023 23:55

I am a DH, and I’d have kept my wife posted with my plans and made other arrangements to get home.

Not sure I’d even be brave enough for the pub on a school night! 😄

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Daniella36 · 25/01/2023 23:56

Men sometimes need a bit of man time. Doesn't mean you need to drive him, of course

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Moanymyrt · 25/01/2023 23:56

MintJulia · 25/01/2023 23:52

Maybe he doesn't like your friends

Haha I met them through him so I’d hope not but could be that. I wish he’d have told me though so I could have relaxed, put on indoor clothes and had that glass of wine earlier lol!

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Moanymyrt · 25/01/2023 23:58

DuplicateUserName · 25/01/2023 23:54

If you wanted a glass of wine with your friends, why on earth didn't you tell him he'd have to take a cab tonight anyway, just like he would if your car was out of order?

He's rude though, he should've sent a quick text to let you know.

I dunno. I guess because it’s a Wednesday, i just felt like it wasn’t needed. But clearly weekday wines are back in business if he’s in the pub 😂😂

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Moanymyrt · 25/01/2023 23:59

Deathbyfluffy · 25/01/2023 23:55

I am a DH, and I’d have kept my wife posted with my plans and made other arrangements to get home.

Not sure I’d even be brave enough for the pub on a school night! 😄

You’re a better man than my DH then. 😂😂

Normally on a Thursday / Friday I end up with a few colleagues in the car too for various drop offs so I should probably tell him that the taxi isn’t working tonight.

will happily get them a bolt though.

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