To want DH to take DS for an hour in the morning when I’m not working?

[Atthemuseum]

DS wakes before 6. He used to sleep really well but lately he’s been waking a couple of times in the night.

Would it be unreasonable for DH to have him for an hour before he starts work just to give me a chance for a bit of peace before the day starts?

Unless your dh likes getting up extra early I’d say no. Ask him to give you a bit of time on a day when he isn’t at work.

Need more context really, how old is DS, what are you doing in the day/night vs what’s he doing?

But your day starts when your kids wake up? What time does your husband get up? Can't you go to bed earlier?

I'm not sure if he's going to work all day I don't think it's fair to expect that. On his days off though sure!

I go to bed really early as it is but on days when DS wakes at 5 and I’ve had a broken night it’s just a very long morning. DH wfh and starts at half eight.

My husband has started taking our 5 week old 6-7 to give me an hours peace as he's started waking every hour from 4am.

He doesn't do any of the night time wake ups and can get to sleep whenever he wants, 6am isn't too unreasonable in my opinion when he can get a good 7hr block of sleep if he goes to bed at 11

DH would have happily done this because he had a full night and DD woke me. Work is no harder than being at home with my a child so this way everyone gets some sleep.

Women on MN are really weird and precious about men going to work if they haven't had 12 hours uninterrupted sleep. Odd since DD didn't sleep until she was 2 and I still had to go to work.

It depends. If he’s an easy baby during the day and sleeps 7pm to 5:30 with just a couple of wake ups then no it’s not reasonable to ask. If he’s a difficult baby who cries all day and breastfeeding or feeding is a challenge and he wakes a lot at night and your dh doesn’t like to help in the evening then it’s very very reasonable.
my Dh helps over night, he took baby at 4:30 and rocked her back to sleep. she doesn’t get to sleep till between 10 and midnight, I have to jump up and be on the go with two older children so don’t get downtime, and Dh is very active in the evenings but there’s a lot to be done.

Well, he isn’t a baby - he’s two! He’s not exceptionally difficult but he’s quite full on.

Why would it be unreasonable? You both need to sleep. I don't buy into the 'men going to work so need their sleep'. Unless he's a surgeon or a pilot/driver, he can cope on the same amount of sleep as you.

You're both human, you both need to function. Of course it's not unreasonable. Fuck me he doesn't even start til 8:30 AND he works from home?!

I think it depends how around and helpful he is after and how much he hates mornings. If he hates mornings and he's home early then you could take time then. If he's not then I think it's fine for him to take DS.

Personally I don't think working is necessarily harder than being home with DS. Some days for me it's a lot easier! So I don't think working is some sort of trump card.

God cry him a river. Lots of women go to work too and look after children.

It depends what your dh is like.
I don't think it's unreasonable but my dh always took turns with settling our dc and getting up with them.
And from having dc1 I only ever worked part time.

It’s just a bit uneven because I work three days a week but I have to leave early. So I wake 530 when DS wakes and then have to try to keep him entertained while I get ready and DH is snoring! Then we leave at 7 so DH gets an hour and a half of lovely peace to have breakfast and chill

So it would be nice if for my days off DH could just return the favour!

Yes of course it's reasonable, it's his baby too. If he's getting 6-8 hours unbroken sleep compared to your broken sleep and an early start then he should definitely be getting up with DS and letting you go back to bed for a couple of hours.

Agree.

Both my DH and I get up with our early rising children and manage to work

Why do you do this? If you're getting ready for work, why isn't he looking after your son?

So your day starts at 5am and his at, say, 8am? No, that’s not fair! I’d say Tuesday and Thursday are his ‘get ups’ and the other three days are yours, with weekends shared.

I have to work outside of the home and am up at 6am every day. Would I rather lie in until 8? Of course but that’s life! As a previous poster said, unless other people’s lives are in his hands, he can get up!

Just doesn’t wake up. And since I have to be up anyway I might as well but then I think it would be nice for the favour to be returned.

If he's got to be up for work anyway, being up 90 minutes earlier on your days off wont kill him. Yanbu OP.

I’ve just seen your update. Of COURSE he should get up! I had this exact discussion with my DH. Told him we both needed to get up and wrestle children into clothes/uniforms in the morning. I was happy to do the school/ nursery run as I was the one physically getting in a car (he works from home, I don’t) but I’d be damned if I was going to do it all whilst he slept just because he didn’t need to start work until a lot later!

I just don't understand how this ended up being your dynamic. Sometimes one of us is sleeping deeply - the other will poke them awake and say "hey, I need to shower now" and then leave them in charge of the kids. I don't think a toddler should be left unsupervised while you shower if there's another option

I don't think you're being unreasonable op. You both have to get up anyway, there's no hardship of getting up a few hours early twice a week for instance.

What happens on weekends, do you share a lie in on each day?

He should be helping you on the days you have work

If it's once or twice a week, seems reasonable to me. Though between you the early rising of your DS is an issue you should tackle.