To want DH to take DS for an hour in the morning when I’m not working?

[Atthemuseum]

DS wakes before 6. He used to sleep really well but lately he’s been waking a couple of times in the night.

Would it be unreasonable for DH to have him for an hour before he starts work just to give me a chance for a bit of peace before the day starts?

Oh and why just an hour anyway - if DS wakes at 6 and DH starts work at 8:30, he could take him for 2.5 hours...

If he works from home there's no excuse for him to not help out more

I could not live my life with someone selfish enough to not realise themselves that if you're suffering with broken sleep and a small child, it's on both of you to support the other person. I'm a SAHM to a 3yo who's had a rough sleeping patch (yet again) recently - thanks winter viruses! DH will as a minimum take her downstairs in the mornings and sort her breakfast so I can sleep more and takes over at 5am if she's really been up a lot. I go to bed earlied than him so I can get more sleep too. We're a team and help each other - otherwise what's the point?

Starting small @BringbackSpringsteen

Selling yourself short, I think!

Why isn’t he getting dd ready on your work days? I wfh, so am in his position. It enables me to do more on a morning than if I was in an office.

not sure he should be doing every morning. But he should be doing, either, mornings when you are working or mornings when you aren’t.

Both pitching in, just to make morning easier for both should be the norm.

Yes, I think that’s fair enough if you’re up with him three days a week. On the days you’re off you’ll get to have a bit of chill out time.
I get why if you’re up anyway when you’re going to work, you’ll get him ready etc, that does make sense to me.

Alternatively, what time does your DH finish work? Maybe he could take charge of the bath/bedtime routine while you chill out then?

While I don’t think every thing has to be split exactly 50/50, it’s important to try and ensure you both get equitable ‘down time’.

Let him know you need help and give him the option of walking in the night or an hour in the morning. He’ll probably chose the morning.

Of course it is reasonable to ask. Plus it is hardly tough for him to fit in an hour before 8.30. Although why are you only asking for an hour? Your DH should be doing half the 5am starts and half the night wakes too. Or if DS will only settle for you, then you do all the night wakes and he does all the mornings.

I’d expect him to look after your son on those days.

As he’s working from home he could get up earlier. My earlier post was thinking of my situation (dh had an hour’s commute each way, & often a 12 hour day - With one child I could find time to have a break during the day, would have been taking the piss to ask him to get up earlier on those days(m).

Yes he should get up. I can't believe you've got to 2 and he's still lying in like a he's not got a child!

That's ridiculous! He can get up.

DH gets up with our DC as I do the night wakings whether im working or not

On the mornings that you go to work could he maybe work on trying to settle him back down again, with the aim of shifting his pattern slightly to something with a 6 in it? It must be tricky when you know you all need to be up and out soon not to get going with the whole nursery routine. That means you can get showered etc. Going forward if he can sleep a little later then on work days dh helps gets him ready so you can get ready and on your days off you all enjoy a slightly slower start to the day. I know that it isn't easy shifting their body clocks but a few nudges might make it all more bearable for everyone.

He just doesn’t resettle. I’ve honestly tried every single suggestion on here and elsewhere and it isn’t happening. Sleep generally has been a bit trickier lately - not sure why.

But since I have to be up early on work days anyway I don’t mind this. I do think though that since DH is getting a really nice morning three days every week the favour could be returned for two days a week for me!

What happens on weekends?

Seems perfectly logical and eminently reasonable.

Ask/tell him!

(And don’t say it’s because DS has been waking again in the night. He should do it anyway.)

Yup this! YANBU OP, the more you post the more it sounds like your partner is not being quite fair.

Discuss alternating bath & bedtime as well. If DS is being tricky to settle a) you should both share the joy/pain and b) he might benefit greatly from someone else having a go regularly.

This is crucial information. From the OP it sounds like you’re a SAHM.

it makes a big difference if you get up and sort the toddler while your Dh sleeps on the mornings you’re going to work (and not from home either).

Of course your DH should be pulling his morning weight.

I know - I meant on days I don’t work but it did sound like I was a SAHM. Although I’m not sure if I was I’d be unreasonable in wanting a bit of help in the morning!

I'm on maternity leave and me and my DH get up together to do breakfast etc with DS, he doesn't skip out on parenting because he works 8 hours while I look after our son for 8 hours - mornings, overnight and evenings are equal, it makes no sense that women would do all of the other parts of the day when their partners aren't working.

No. You wouldn’t.

But the additional information makes it much harder for people to reply to say that the poor wee lamb needs his sleep before a day of teams meetings bullshit.

It really shows how unreasonable he’s being.

It is just as much his child as yours. Of course he should be doing some of the early mornings, regardless of if he works.

I work full time from home, have 2 children under 3 and am full of cold. I was still up at half 5 with both of them and got them ready for the day. There is no excuses and it honestly makes my blood boil that some men (and I am sorry in my experience it usually is men) that use the oh but I work excuse. It's so tedious.

I don't have a choice in the above, my partner leaves for work at 5. He sees you as the person it should naturally fall to I'm afraid. You need to change this.

Of course he should! He’s still a parent outside his working hours isn’t he?

”Just doesn’t wake up”, pfffft. Make him: covers off, curtains open, come on, DS is awake, it’s time to get up.