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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ban my kids from coming in my room before 10am on the weekends?

40 replies

Dogghee · 09/10/2022 10:11

For context my youngest is 11.

Up every morning at 6.30am and just want a lie in on weekends, but any disruption and I'm wide awake and cannot get back to sleep. Just can't.

Every weekend my 11 or 14 year old wake up go toilet, watch TV but they always come in my room just to say hi after they go toilet 😂 I know it's cute but then I'm wide awake whilst they either go back to sleep or downstairs.

WIBU to ask them to please not come in unless it's important. They literally just come in to say good morning at 7/8am then I don't see them again till 11am when they come out of their room.

Even a sleep till 9am would be nice!

But I feel bad. Especially with DS as he just comes into give me a kiss or say hello.

OP posts:

Velvian · 09/10/2022 10:14

I would say don't ask them. It won't be for much longer and I think their closeness to you will stand you in good stead for future challenges.

WandaWomblesaurus · 09/10/2022 10:16

Dogghee · 09/10/2022 10:11

For context my youngest is 11.

Up every morning at 6.30am and just want a lie in on weekends, but any disruption and I'm wide awake and cannot get back to sleep. Just can't.

WIBU to ask them to please not come in unless it's important. They literally just come in to say good morning at 7/8am then I don't see them again till 11am when they come out of their room.

Even a sleep till 9am would be nice!

But I feel bad. Especially with DS as he just comes into give me a kiss or say hello.

We were in the same situation - what we did was set out a breakfast bar of nice breakfast things to eat and drink and they would go and have their hotel style breakfast and watch a dvd before waking us up.
Now they are a bit older they make us coffee when they come through at 11!

NewNameNeededNow · 09/10/2022 10:18

Velvian · 09/10/2022 10:14

I would say don't ask them. It won't be for much longer and I think their closeness to you will stand you in good stead for future challenges.

This.

I miss my DS running in for a cuddle so much. I know it’s a pain at the time but you really will miss it when it stops.

Original poster

Dogghee · 09/10/2022 10:19

WandaWomblesaurus · 09/10/2022 10:16

Show quote history

We have a breakfast box and they do this. They either go back to bed or put Netflix on downstairs.

They don't want me to get up, I usually just laze in bed on my phone but they just come in to say hello. But then it's impossible for me to get back to sleep.

Even more annoying that DH could be woken up by a brass band and be fast asleep again in 3 minutes.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dogghee · 09/10/2022 10:20

NewNameNeededNow · 09/10/2022 10:18

This.

I miss my DS running in for a cuddle so much. I know it’s a pain at the time but you really will miss it when it stops.

Show quote history

You wouldn't just say 'can you come in for a morning cuddle after 9.30'? 😂

OP posts:

SuperCamp · 09/10/2022 10:21

YANBU, but 10 is stringing it out a bit.

IllDoItButOnlyForTheAttention · 09/10/2022 10:23

I was going to say YANBU, but then what you've described does sound sweet, so now I'm on the fence 😆

CuriousCatfish · 09/10/2022 10:23

I'm impressed your 14 year old is out of their bed before lunch time.

MermaidEyes · 09/10/2022 10:23

I'm just amazed you've got a teenager who wakes up before midday. What's that all about 😆

MermaidEyes · 09/10/2022 10:23

CuriousCatfish · 09/10/2022 10:23

I'm impressed your 14 year old is out of their bed before lunch time.

Haha cross post!

Extraordinarytimes · 09/10/2022 10:25

I’m with the others - as annoying as it is I don’t think you can say come in later, as they are unlikely to bother so you just miss that closeness. My daughter is 11. I told her when she was little that she didn’t need to come and see me when she went to the toilet. Result is that she never comes in; says it doesn’t occur to her when. My boys (who were not told this as they always got up later so less of an issue!) on the other hand always come in. I am trying to train them to bring me a cuppa!

PinkSyCo · 09/10/2022 10:25

It is very cute that your kids come in to say hi to you in the morning, but they are old enough to understand that you don’t want to be woken. Just ask them nicely to wake you up (preferably with a cuppa) at 10 am if you’re not already up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster

Dogghee · 09/10/2022 10:30

CuriousCatfish · 09/10/2022 10:23

I'm impressed your 14 year old is out of their bed before lunch time.

My eldest isn't. I only see him at the midnight hour. I think he's part vampire

OP posts:

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 09/10/2022 10:31

My ds has done as he was asked from about 4 and woke me up at an agreed time! Surely it isn't difficult for them to listen to your request?

Noteverybodylives · 09/10/2022 10:41

YANBU

My DD has never done this and she’s always been very good at entertaining herself in her room.
She has always struggled to sleep and I think she knows that if it’s before a certain time I’d tell her to try and go back to sleep so she’s extra careful not to wake me up.

Now she’s a teen she would never be awake before me anyway.

I would just tell them next weekend that your having a lie in so can they not come in and wake you up - you could do it just on Sunday mornings so it’s not a massive difference for them.

KosherDill · 09/10/2022 10:50

Of course it's ok. Your well-being is important, too.

Just tell them mum needs so extra sleep so please don't come in till xx time. Surely at their ages they can empathize with you.

MintyGreenDreams · 09/10/2022 10:56

Ds nearly 9 does his own thing in his bedroom if we're not up.We usually wake around 8 on a weekend.
Dh up at 5am in the week.

BCBird · 09/10/2022 10:59

You are not being unreasonable. Just tell them.

WaddleAway · 09/10/2022 11:00

I think it’s fine OP. You can have a cuddle or whatever a couple of hours later!
Initially I was going to say 10am is a bit decadent but that’s because I’m still in the young child years where 6am is a lie in, so my views are skewed somewhat! In reality, 10am is fine at the weekend especially if they go back to bed after waking you anyway.

PuttingDownRoots · 09/10/2022 11:04

Talk to them. Mine come for a cuddle on a school day. But at weekends... they know we will get them up at a certain time if necessary, otherwise do not disturb. I often wake up early and curl up on the sofa with a book and coffee, they can come for a cuddle if I'm up.

Stressfordays · 09/10/2022 11:08

I only have a Saturday off and my kids know not to come in before 9am. Theyre younger then yours too. I'm a lone parent and I need that morning snooze!

TinySaltLick · 09/10/2022 11:23

Have you tried 50/50 zoflora and lemon juice? Worked for me

Afterfire · 09/10/2022 11:26

I think it’s fine if they’re literally just going to be stuck in their rooms until then anyway but personally I think my dc who is nearly 11 would be a bit fed up and lonely - I’d feel like I’d wasted the day lying in bed till 11am. But I guess we’re all different. We like to be up, dressed and out some where by then even if it’s just a walk or something.

Original poster

Dogghee · 09/10/2022 11:31

TinySaltLick · 09/10/2022 11:23

Have you tried 50/50 zoflora and lemon juice? Worked for me

In a spray bottle I assume? 😂

OP posts:

itsgettingweird · 09/10/2022 11:33

They're old enough to understand you love a good morning but not before 10 am

I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate you popping in for a hello at 5am if you wake for a wee!

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