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AIBU?

To feel my friend has gone bat shit crazy and not want to visit anymore

48 replies

bagpuss90 · 19/09/2022 20:03

I’ve posted about this friend before - we’ve known each other for years -I have struggled at times. Everyone says she can be hard work. I usually visit her once a week - and no she won’t visit me. Anyway she acquired a cat a few months ago, and she is obsessed with it-and I mean obsessed . She’s decided it has a deformed mouth despite two vets telling her it has a normal mouth and is quite obese. She thinks it can’t eat it’s food due to the desired mouth , unless she piles it in “special lumps “ like a crane while he’s eating it. I’m sorry but if it can eat a mouse -it can eat a tin of cat food ffs.Wen I go round there- well if the cat gets up she follows it . If it goes out , she goes out to see where it is , she jumps up as soon as it comes in. While she’s feeding it in the kitchen , she’s gone for ages , pulling the bloody food up in a special way , two or three times while I’m there . I’m not allowed in the kitchen with her , in case I put the cat off of eating. She won’t come to mine , cos she won’t leave the cat. Don’t get me wrong I’m a massive animal lover. But aibu to think there is no point on me visiting her when she’s fussing over the cat in the other room for most of the time. I think it’s rude actually. She even gets up three times in the night to do the food thing. Oh and I’m not allowed to laugh loudly in case I scare the said cat 😩. She says if she doesn’t do it -the cat sulks and creates a bad atmosphere 🤔😩. Aibu to not want to waste my evenings anymore sitting in her sitting room on my own tolerating this crap ? Just read through this -and no it’s not a wind up

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

510 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
MiseryWIthAStent · 19/09/2022 20:18

She sounds quite bonkers, quite amusing and very caring!

AbcMurders · 19/09/2022 20:20

What was she like before the cat?

bagpuss90 · 19/09/2022 20:22

She’s always been very intense

OP posts:
LovePoppy · 19/09/2022 20:24

Nothing better than making a cat so obese the vets comment - was it skinny before?

Poor cat

ThinkingForEveryone · 19/09/2022 20:26

Completely bat shit....no i wouldn't be wasting my time going to see her and I would tell her why!

bagpuss90 · 19/09/2022 20:26

Tbh I wouldn’t stop visiting altogether . It just gets a bit much .

OP posts:
Brigante9 · 19/09/2022 20:26

No wonder it’s obese if she’s feeding it so often.

LovePoppy · 19/09/2022 20:26

Do you even like her?

bagpuss90 · 19/09/2022 20:27

LovePoppy
no it wasn’t

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 19/09/2022 20:27

You have a real life crazy cat lady for a friend Grin

And no - I wouldn't be going to sit alone either.

I'd be quite genuinely concerned for and about her though.

bagpuss90 · 19/09/2022 20:35

LovePoppy
tbh it’s a bit of a love hate relationship

OP posts:
bagpuss90 · 19/09/2022 20:36

I am concerned about her -but I don’t really see what I can do. I honestly wouldn’t abandon her tho

OP posts:
HeadacheEarthquake · 19/09/2022 20:38

I feel sorry for the cat.. I'd probably tell her she's being mental and to listen to the vet, then if no improvement stop visiting (and maybe report the cat abuse, thought how I'm not sure)

Staters · 19/09/2022 20:57

Maybe she has toxoplasmosis from this cat. Can cause crazy cat lady obsession as well as flu like symptoms.

Dotell · 19/09/2022 20:59

Maybe she got the cat to keep you away. Seriously why do you visit someone that doesn't appreciate your visit every week.

StarDolphins · 19/09/2022 21:01

Sounds like me with my dog🤣 minus quite a few of the things but I definitely don’t want anyone disturbing him while he’s having his meal🤣 I’m not a hypochondriac on his behalf though so that makes me normal!

GreenManalishi · 19/09/2022 21:09

If you can go round once a week and watch this and keep a straight face you're a better woman than me.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 19/09/2022 21:10

MiseryWIthAStent · 19/09/2022 20:18

She sounds quite bonkers, quite amusing and very caring!

Confused no she doesn't. She sounds really quite unwell. This is not normal behaviour at all.

I think you need to pull back on the weekly visits.

Wafflesnsniffles · 19/09/2022 21:13

What is in this friendship for you? It sounds like you are doing all the work and that she isnt actually bothered about you at all - only the cat.

Sunnyqueen · 19/09/2022 21:13

I don't think it's rudeness she actually sounds not very well mentally to be honest.

ChilliBandit · 19/09/2022 21:18

I also think she sounds quite unwell and is also harming her cat feeding it so much. I can’t work out the food piles either. The idea of touching cat food makes me feel nauseous, it reeks!

LovePoppy · 19/09/2022 22:23

@bagpuss90 You can cut down on visits or even not see someone because you dont enjoy their company.

Thanks Not abandonment.

You do not owe her your time and mental health

earsup · 19/09/2022 22:32

Sounds tedious....nothing more boring than people who go on and on about cats or babies....i ditch anyone in those categories.....dull and boring....!!

Wolfiefan · 19/09/2022 22:34

She sounds unwell OP. If she won’t seek help then you can’t change this.

Celia24 · 19/09/2022 22:44

My friend was like this for a while when she got a new cat. I think she was going through something mentally. She's come out of it now.

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