This years John Lewis Christmas advert

[Endlesssummer2022]

Yes it’s a little early but hey ho. I saw the below on Twitter and it made me laugh.

‘Can’t wait for this year’s John Lewis advert. A freezing family are huddled around the Christmas Tree, unwrapping a solitary gift - a new kettle. A slow, haunting piano version of Polly Put The Kettle on plays in the background. Everyone suddenly breaks out into joyous hugging.’

And of course they are all wearing several jumpers!

Meanwhile the old lady in the house next door opens her present. A heated throw. Unfortunately she has had her gas and electricity disconnected for non payment.

Fucking hilarious.

They’ll place the kettle in the kitchen next to the slow cooking containing the Christmas turkey and air fryer cooking roast potatoes.

Meant slow cooker!

I reckon it will be a good life sort of set up with 'Tom and Barbara' working hard on getting the veg together for Christmas lunch and then 'Margot and Jerry' giving them an air fryer.

Sounds like someone's having a pop at Boris saying to buy a new kettle for £20 as they're so much more economical and you can save £10 a year on energy costs!
( Twas bonkers!)

DS15 looked at me after watching the Boris clip and said "shit, we are in shit".

The family over the road pop a pigeon (not wood, just a winged rodent) in the oven. They can't cook it, obviously, but it evokes days gone by.

I saw similar on Facebook.

Looking forward to this year's John Lewis advert which will just be a family huddled around a burning Christmas tree for warmth as they cook the family cat on a spit and a piano version of things can only get better by D:ream plays.

Greta Thunberg will obviously make an appearance somewhere in the advert.

She's loving every minute of this, as remember, she / COP26 was the root cause of the skyrocketing fuel hikes, well before the Russia-Ukraine war started.

Oh ma sides are splitting min.

Also stolen from Twitter:

Camera pans out from a recently boiled brand new £20 kettle to a family warming their hands on a candle
"Merry Christmas" they all say as they tuck into their freshly prepared Christmas dinner

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

Someone is going to have to explain to me the logic of how a 16 year old protester is responsible for global energy prices.

It will certainly be interesting to see how the mc JL deal with this shitstorm without making the reality too unpalatable for their core market at Christmas time.

It’s a John Lewis advert, it will feature a Heston By Waitrose pot noodle - Christmas dinner flavour with an electric zing!

I'm guessing it will be a real 'remember the olden days when life was simpler' type ad, with the focus on rosy-cheeked carol singing, multi-generational hugging, open fires, and absolutely no presents in sight whatsoever. Maybe a breathy acoustic version of All I Want for Christmas Is You sung by a children's choir.

Or just a load of penguins huddling together for warmth with a single Terry's chocolate orange balanced on their flippers instead of a penguin chick.

She’s 19 now.

This thread is funny. Thank god for humour!

They could re-cycle the Mog one but where the family purposely burn their stuff to keep warm. Mog is for dinner.

Meanwhile at Chez Sunak (think Downton) the villagers gather to press their dear, poor noses against the window aghast that one of the Triv questions is how much is a pint of milk. No one can remember milk.

This, this is exactly what it will be.

Looking forward to this year's John Lewis advert which will just be a family huddled around a burning Christmas tree for warmth as they cook the family cat on a spit and a piano version of things can only get better by D:ream plays.
Anyone else think of "Sling another chair-leg on the fire, Mother" by Pam Ayres?

Old couple, threadbare living room, one bar electric fire which goes off leaving them rubbing their hands and huddling together to keep warm. The old man glances at his wife sadly, she nods: 'well it is Christmas', he puts their last 50p in the meter and the fire switches back on.

They hear a noise outside: excited shrieking of the children from next door, and the doorbell rings. It's the whole family next door. They hand over a present, and (uplifting music) a real Christmas tree!

Old couple hug each other, thankful for the festive generosity of their neighbours. They unwrap the present: an air fryer. Their faces sink. Looking at each other, the wife again nods. The old man finds a box of matches in an empty kitchen cupboard. They set fire to the tree, and sit on the sofa together warming their hands on the blazing tree. Their eyes close and their heads rest on each other.

Camera pans out to the street scene and we hear fire engines in the distance as the flames appear at the windows.

Slogan appears: John Lewis. Not for everybody this year.

That’s dark. But I suppose so will be this winter.

Keep it light 😂🤣😆