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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband not talking to me over a toilet seat change

83 replies

Mimiandme · 02/09/2022 17:07

This post is a bit of a daft one…. I’m just curious to hear other peoples opinions. We have 3 year old who has been toilet / potty training for the last few months. We were using the removable put on and off toilet toddler plastic inserts. It was just a faff putting it on and off, storing it, my toddler trying to put her hands all over it.. but also it was bright green which is fine but it just didn’t go with the downstairs loo😅. I bought this 3 in 1 family loo seat, I think it’s genius.. it’s neat, tidy and I think it’s great. My husband is in an awful mood about it because he thinks it looks out of place, doesn’t look like it fits properly and thinks it’s awful. I said get over it, it’s a toilet seat but he’s taking it really seriously, I don’t listen to him etc, I’ve ruined the toilet. Am I seeing something else? Does it look awful ?!😂

Husband not talking to me over a toilet seat change
OP posts:
DanielTheGhostGangbanger · 02/09/2022 18:17

I wouldn't have even spotted it was a different shape!

We have one of these and it's been bloody MARVELLOUS! So much cleaner and more hygienic than the horrible plastic ones that never properly slot in and leave the child feeling all wobbly.

I don't really understand the argument about the plastic one not matching your toilet tbh. But the practicality of this definitely wins out for me.

I agree with a PP - he's upset as you've messed with his favourite place 😅

catandcoffee · 02/09/2022 18:18

It doesn't actually fit the adult bit properly.
Maybe it wobbles when he sits on it 🤔

Cruisebabe1 · 02/09/2022 18:19

Mamette · 02/09/2022 17:12

I think it looks fine and it won’t be forever.

Is he one of these that likes to sit on the toilet for 20+ minutes?

<eyes DH>

Maybe you’ve messed with his happy place?

Lol 😂😂

EdithWeston · 02/09/2022 18:19

He's right, it doesn't fit, and it does look bad.

But it's a stupid thing to strop over - you have to put up with lots of necessary evils in the course of parenting and this isn't that bad

Spermysextowel · 02/09/2022 18:21

Maybe he finds it uncomfortable because it doesn’t fit properly. I wouldn’t like to feel the cold bits of exposed porcelain on the back of my legs.

Chikapu · 02/09/2022 18:23

Is he under the impression that he'll have to aim his little man weewee's into a smaller hole than usual? Does he have a dodgy sense of direction?

SettingsO · 02/09/2022 18:26

I hope you’re not one of these types that bores on about the environment!

viques · 02/09/2022 18:28

I see you have a loo brush OP, so clearly you won’t win any arguments on here because half the people who might have agreed with you over the seat will change their minds when they spot the brush of doom.

AverageJoan · 02/09/2022 18:28

It doesn't fit but not talking to you over it is ridiculous 😂 especially when it is presumably temporary

SeemsSoUnfair · 02/09/2022 18:30

Its the wrong size/shape, looks uncomfortable, I would have returned it and found one that actually fitted.

If dh had bought it and fitted it, I would have also commented it didn't fit and looked a bit ridiculous, it would irritate me each time I saw it and annoy me my (and any visitors) legs would probably be touching the cold exposed porcelain, but I wouldn't go in a mood.

HideTheCroissants · 02/09/2022 18:31

I wouldn’t like it TBH as if I sat on that my thighs would make contact with the cold porcelain where the adult seat simply doesn’t fit / is the wrong shape for your toilet. To not be talking to you is a bit OTT though.

mattressspring · 02/09/2022 18:33

No because my legs would touch the porcelain

Original poster
Mimiandme · 02/09/2022 18:33

Thanks everyone! I still stick to it being a good idea but… it doesn’t reallllyyyyy fit, I think it’s fine, doesn’t bother me but yes it doesn’t fit like the last one. We’ve chatted it out, it’s coming off as I type, we are going to offer it to our friends as I still think it’s good, just not the right shape for our loo…. We will see if there is a better fitting one but if not…. It’s not end of the world. I have gained a bottle of wine and pudding, we have both said sorry. Next time I’ll not rush out and be impulsive and he said it was a good idea in theory but probably best to have got the right one as he thinks it looks rubbish…

The old one is back on and it does look better… but it was still a good idea 😂😂😂😂. Thank you everyone for your help, both for and against, I appreciate it.

OP posts:
Musti · 02/09/2022 18:35

I just used a potty. Some friends had those types for years and they were annoying . A step without an insert worked well too. Once the kids had lived on from a potty they could just hold on to the sides

Blossomtoes · 02/09/2022 18:36

That’s a shocking loo seat, I’d be really pissed off if that appeared on our loo with no discussion.

orbitalcrisis · 02/09/2022 18:40

Why the hell would he care if your toilet looks weird? Does he do a lot of entertaining in there with toilet seat connoisseurs? Has he lost subscribers on the live feed? I don't get it!

Loics · 02/09/2022 18:40

I think it looks horrible and I would be annoyed if DP installed it on ours, I wouldn't blank him but I would insist it was changed to a nicer one.

bloodyunicorns · 02/09/2022 18:40

Adults don't have to sit on the insert - they lift it up and sit on the normal seat.

Your h is being a dick.

mountainsunsets · 02/09/2022 18:45

bloodyunicorns · 02/09/2022 18:40

Adults don't have to sit on the insert - they lift it up and sit on the normal seat.

Your h is being a dick.

Yeah, but the point is that the entire 3-in-1 seat doesn't fit as it's the wrong shape...

Longdistance · 02/09/2022 18:47

He’s going to have to sort his aim out, that’s why he’s ‘pissed’ off.

Cleopatra67 · 02/09/2022 18:49

No from me. Hideous. It would upset me every time I went to the loo.

TheWernethWife · 02/09/2022 18:50

I’ve ruined the toilet

WTF is he on about, its a toilet seat not an exhibit in the V & A.

Chemicalrainbow · 02/09/2022 18:53

I think we have the same shape loo as you OP and we had that seat on it for about 5 years in the end (DC1 outgrew it just as DC2 needed it!)

At the risk of TMI there was an issue with, urm, lining up properly to hit the water with a number 2! (You may find yourself needing that toilet brush!) But we got used to it. And I certainly preferred it to having a separate toddler seat lying around.

Boxofsockss · 02/09/2022 18:57

I think he needs to get a grip 😂 maybe it will encourage him to not sit on the toilet for ages at a time as men like to do and make himself more useful 😂. It’s not permanent and when he realises how much your toddler probably loves it, I’m sure he will come around

mattressspring · 02/09/2022 18:58

TheWernethWife · 02/09/2022 18:50

I’ve ruined the toilet

WTF is he on about, its a toilet seat not an exhibit in the V & A.

Ah, this is why I love Mumsnet