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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband not talking to me over a toilet seat change

83 replies

Mimiandme · 02/09/2022 17:07

This post is a bit of a daft one…. I’m just curious to hear other peoples opinions. We have 3 year old who has been toilet / potty training for the last few months. We were using the removable put on and off toilet toddler plastic inserts. It was just a faff putting it on and off, storing it, my toddler trying to put her hands all over it.. but also it was bright green which is fine but it just didn’t go with the downstairs loo😅. I bought this 3 in 1 family loo seat, I think it’s genius.. it’s neat, tidy and I think it’s great. My husband is in an awful mood about it because he thinks it looks out of place, doesn’t look like it fits properly and thinks it’s awful. I said get over it, it’s a toilet seat but he’s taking it really seriously, I don’t listen to him etc, I’ve ruined the toilet. Am I seeing something else? Does it look awful ?!😂

Husband not talking to me over a toilet seat change
OP posts:
raindon · 02/09/2022 17:38

Does it work?
Is he willing to do all the toilet training if you change it back?

QuestionableMouse · 02/09/2022 17:41

It's a toilet seat. It's not a work of art that's meant to be stared at and in reality how long per day do you spend actually looking at the loo? He's being ridiculous.

FictionalCharacter · 02/09/2022 17:41

It doesn’t look great but it won’t be there forever.
Did you discuss it with him first though or just do it? I don’t like it when DH buys something I hate with no discussion, though I’m a grownup and don’t get huffy or give him the silent treatment when it happens.
As a PP said, is he one of those ridiculous men people who sit on the loo for ages, reading papers and doing crosswords?

gamerchick · 02/09/2022 17:44

People are really weird about toilet seats. Has this thread given you more insight into your husband's brain OP? Grin

i think it's fine. It's a place to park up whole you take a shit. Nobody is taking any photos of you on it ffs.

Cas112 · 02/09/2022 17:47

Don't see the problem, it will do whilst your child is potty training

He needs to grow up and stop having a tantrum

Apl · 02/09/2022 17:48

It’s a good seat

potty training is hard and things have to change for a while

it’s weird and a bit rude that you bought and fitted it without asking if he minded

it’s bizarre and immature that he’s ‘not talking to you’

sounds like you guys need to communicate better

Choconut · 02/09/2022 17:50

The seat doesn't fit the rim of the toilet so I can see DH's point but it's only for a while and saving hassle in the mean time so he needs to suck it up.

mountainsunsets · 02/09/2022 17:52

FusionChefGeoff · 02/09/2022 17:19

The small seat lifts up for adults to use the normal seat underneath Smile

Show quote history

Yes, but the adult seat is the wrong shape!

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 02/09/2022 17:52

Seriously?! Have you talked to him about how ridiculous he’s being or does he have form for this behaviour? As someone else said, he needs that seat!

NoSquirrels · 02/09/2022 17:54

Blimey. Some people care SO much more about the shape of a toilet seat than I could be arsed to. Looks great to me. Much nicer than the hideous coloured thing we had.

NoSquirrels · 02/09/2022 17:56

it’s weird and a bit rude that you bought and fitted it without asking if he minded

Really? Wouldn’t be weird in my household and certainly wouldn’t be rude in any way!

Sunnytwobridges · 02/09/2022 17:56

I feel like if he got that angry maybe its got more to do with just the toilet seat. Seems like an overreaction to me.

Shodan · 02/09/2022 18:01

Blimey. Some people care SO much more about the shape of a toilet seat than I could be arsed to.

Yeah this. I had to look several times to see what exactly was so 'awful'!

It's a loo seat. You sit on it to pee and poo. If it was some work of art or something that might be different, but unless you've got a particularly Hyacinth Bucket style backside, it's perfectly fit for purpose.

I8toys · 02/09/2022 18:03

As long as it does what its supposed fine. Who care what it looks like - its a toilet. Is he usually so fussy regarding his toilets?

Xpologog · 02/09/2022 18:03

It’s fine. He does know he’s not expected to sit on the child’s seat?

CloudPop · 02/09/2022 18:04

Mamette · 02/09/2022 17:12

I think it looks fine and it won’t be forever.

Is he one of these that likes to sit on the toilet for 20+ minutes?

<eyes DH>

Maybe you’ve messed with his happy place?

😂😂

PortalooSunset · 02/09/2022 18:05

3 in 1 seats that actually fit the toilet they're on are great. That one, not so much.

Not talking to you is ridiculous though.

Thissucksmonkeynuts · 02/09/2022 18:07

Family seats are as much of a game changer as they are fugly.

You might be able make yours fit better- pop it off , loosen the locating pins and rotate them both outward so they are the same distance apart buy further from the cistern, re-tighten and replace the seat.

Fairylightsongs · 02/09/2022 18:08

NoSquirrels · 02/09/2022 17:56

it’s weird and a bit rude that you bought and fitted it without asking if he minded

Really? Wouldn’t be weird in my household and certainly wouldn’t be rude in any way!

Mine neither. I fitted our second last one. Popped to B&q, bought one fitted it. Wouldn’t think I needed to ask my husband if he minded, how very bizarre. It then cracked I was working, my husband popped out, bought a new one. replaced it. All were different styles.

it’s so odd how other folks live. Where you’d need to ask your husband,if he minded you changing the loo seat. Can’t perceive that to be a Convo I’d ever have.

Minimalme · 02/09/2022 18:10

Honestly, the fact that you and your husband have the time and emotional energy to engage in this utterly first world issue is probably a great sign that your lives are pretty perfect.

Both of you need to move on. Here - have a family grip.

MintyGreenDreams · 02/09/2022 18:11

We've got one and it's great! Saves ds little arse from falling down the loo

Bestcatmum · 02/09/2022 18:12

I can get pretty angry about stuff but toilet seats? Nope. I pick my battles.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/09/2022 18:12

I hate them so I'm biased anyway. And yes, the adult part doesn't fit your toilet; on a bad day, if I was grumpy I would get very narky about something like this, so while DH is probably UR, I can see where he is coming from!

Tulipvase · 02/09/2022 18:13

But it’s ok for the OP to think the old green loo insert didn’t go in the downstairs loo?

I couldn’t get worked up by either option tbh.

Viviennemary · 02/09/2022 18:15

It looks ridiculous. As it doesn't fit. Why dont you just use a removable child one.