AIBU quick!

[HappyBinosaur]

I am about to go to a very posh wedding drinks reception. Someone has made a negative comment and now I’m worried! I am wearing a lovely dress with lace top and midi length pleated skirt, bare legs and low heels. It is black and this person says I can’t wear it to a wedding for this reason.

But….. I am the vicar that took the wedding! And it’s the nicest and most formal vicar dress I have to wear with my vicar dog collar. Also everyone knows that vicars often wear black so I thought it would be okay. I am wearing a dog collar so it is obvious that I am the vicar!

AIBU to wear it?

Looks lovely, I wouldn't stress it

I love the fact you can have a beautiful vicar dress!!!

@sparepantsandtoothbrush it was from Dorothy Perkins online and underneath I’m wearing a stretchy dog collar top.

@picklemewalnuts we are often a quirky bunch but much more normal than people think! What do you do?

You look great! Love the dress!

I think it looks lovely - many years ago I wore a black dress to a wedding - it was a bit floaty & bride came over and voted me best dressed guest. I think most people know the difference between funeral and celebratory.

I'm on the administrative side of the diocese. Sort of Parish Support. Most closely with vicars and wardens.

I agree @BasiliskStare

Sadly I take far more funerals than weddings and although I usually do wear a black dress with dog collar if I am invited to the wake, I wouldn’t wear a lace one with heels to a funeral. I have more different styles of high neck black dresses than you could ever imagine!!!

A vicar is a religious person, runs a church. Conducts wedding ceremonies and funerals at that church.

Just like a priest for example.

It looks lovely and makes it quite clear that you are the vicar.

Looks absolutely lovely!

@IncompleteSenten @gardenmumma sorry I missed your comment earlier.

I am a priest and ‘vicar’ is the role I have
(although technically I am not actually a vicar but that’s too boring and complicated to explain! I used the term vicar as it’s a general term that people use for clergy.)

I’m home now and had a lovely time. I’m a bit annoyed with my family member for saying that but good old MN has made me feel great so thank you.

Looks fab!
Glad you had a good time

?

@gardegardenmumma I'm intrigued to know where you are from if you don't know what a Vicar is.

It looks absolutely lovely! Glad you had a good time.

@gardegardenmumma I'm intrigued to know where you are from if you don't know what a Vicar is.

And I'd like to know why you just accepted the OP saying she was going to wear a dog collar with her dress!

My aunt's wedding 30 years ago; black & red were the colours. Someone disapproved of my (mostly yellows) dress & persuaded me to wear a black dress with tiny white flowers instead. Which made me fit in.

fwiw, I had a daytime wedding 20 years ago in a sunny place... many, maybe most, of my guests wore black. It was just the fashion (!)

My cousin had a day time wedding about 5 years ago, come to think of it: she wore black, as did many guests. Bridesmaids were in aubergine & black outfits. Goth style wedding, it suited them and their millions of tattoos.

I suppose I'd prefer a lady vicar to wear something brighter & more cheerful ,actually, why should vicars wear black just because they traditionally wore black. I'd vote something floral like this.

But otherwise, yes black is fine on vicar. I've seen so much black over last 30 years in guests, it's at least somewhat more suitable for vicar.

@lljkk I also work in a school and rarely wear black there. I have some quite funky clergy clothes! I looked for some photos but don’t have any. I do tend to wear black at church based events.

I wore black as a bridesmaid once and it looked great. It’s only on MN and from my relative today that I’ve ever heard that black isn’t appropriate.

When I’m in my ‘normal’ clothes I hardly ever wear black 😀

Tell them God told you it was okay

@Whowhatwherewhenwhynow 🤣

Thanks again everyone and it’s been genuinely lovely that people have been interested in clergy fashion for young (ish) women! Maybe I should start an AMA…..!

My aunt is clergy (as well as a cousin and my own dash but they don't wear dresses to weddings!) And she has a similar dress that she seems to wear to weddings for the 'after' when invited and nobody has ever expressed that she look anything but lovely!

I think it's perfectly reasonable to wear black to a wedding as long as the style of dress suits the style of wedding (even if you're not the vicar but I know that's a contentious opinion!)

You look gorgeous. So much nicer the the cassock thing