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AIBU?

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Original poster

Never had a pregnancy scare

68 replies

Mushroo · 19/08/2022 20:00

Reading a lot of threads on here it seems a lot of babies are unplanned or surprise babies.

Despite having sex for about 15 years now, I’ve never had a scare. (Used a mixture of the pill and condoms - not both at the same time!).

Am i unusual in that I’ve never had a scare?

Are all these unplanned / surprise babies actually contraceptive failures, or people just not using any contraception in the heat of the moment?

(If anyone is like me, did you go on to conceive when you tried? It’s starting to worry me!)

Curious as to what people mean by ‘surprise’ babies

OP posts:
Peashoots · 19/08/2022 20:01

Good for you? 🤷🏼‍♀️

STARCATCHER22 · 19/08/2022 20:01

I’ve been having sex for 15 years too. Pill for 11ish years and relied on condoms/the pill/both at different times. Never had a pregnancy scare either.

Safari234 · 19/08/2022 20:03

I never had a scare whilst on the pill but have had trouble conceiving and found out I had block tube during this.

AquaticSewingMachine · 19/08/2022 20:03

I never had an unplanned pregnancy in 10 years of having sex with DH, then conceived instantly multiple times when we withdrew contraception.

Then I did have an entirely unplanned pregnancy despite idiot-proof contraception fully in place.

You never know.

I think a lot of "surprise" babies do involve sloppy contraception, but others are genuine defiers of the odds. No contraception is 100% reliable, even those which leave no opportunity for user error.

girlmom21 · 19/08/2022 20:04

Considering no contraception is 100%, yes you have been lucky.

roorooA · 19/08/2022 20:05

I got pregnant with the coil in situ!

DramaAlpaca · 19/08/2022 20:05

I used the pill or condoms for ten years, never once had a pregnancy scare but conceived without a bother when I wanted to.

PuttingDownRoots · 19/08/2022 20:06

Had one pregnancy when using contraception.

When it actually came to TTC... DD1 was conceived within 5 weeks. DD2 took 1 night, when still breastfeeding.

Its a mixture of fertility, luck and carefullness

Regularsizedrudy · 19/08/2022 20:06

I’ll probably get flamed but I think a lot of unplanned pregnancies are more sort of not planned but not super careful about preventing. I’ve never had a scare, provided you have access to contraception it’s incredibly easy to not get pregnant.

JulesCobb · 19/08/2022 20:06

Ive been pregnant three times. All three whilst ttc. Apart from that I used the pill and condoms as contraception. So no, you’re not unusual. I got pregnant within a few months of starting ttc each time.

a friend bas been pregnant three times. None planned. She said she thinks she is just super fertile. But she wasnt using any contraception…

Are all these unplanned / surprise babies actually contraceptive failures, or people just not using any contraception in the heat of the moment?
id assume the second.

blebbleb · 19/08/2022 20:07

Same here. I was worried it would mean I wouldn't get pregnant but I did on the second month of trying with my son. Not sure how you can have a scare if you use contraception properly. I know it can fail but it's rare?

Topgub · 19/08/2022 20:07

Nope

Never in almost 30 years sexually active.

Mostly on the pill then mirena coil

user1487194234 · 19/08/2022 20:08

Had sex for 20 years with no pregnancy scares
Came off the pill at 35 and did worry that I might not conceive
Fell pregnant 1st cycle and went on to have 2 more DC

Oldrockingchair · 19/08/2022 20:08

Been having sex regularly for 30 years & never once had a pregnancy scare. I also think there is some carelessness involved with unplanned pregnancies- it’s quite hard to get pregnant.

Eixample · 19/08/2022 20:09

Many people are very bad at using contraception, or don’t.
When they say a method is 99% effective, it doesn’t mean that you will get pregnant one in a hundred times you have sex. It means that if one hundred couples use this method properly for one year each time they have sex, one pregnancy will result in the whole year. (So perhaps one failure in 5200 uses or whatever.)

Hellocatshome · 19/08/2022 20:10

Good for you. Pregnancy scare doesn't always mean someone being lax with contraception it can be a result of rape or other abusive relationship scenarios. So well done for being lucky enough not to have experienced this.

Eixample · 19/08/2022 20:10

And just imagine how well drunk people use condoms

Star27 · 19/08/2022 20:10

I felt the same, never had a pregnancy scare in 10 years and then came off contraception and was pregnant within a couple of months (with both children)

MassiveSalad22 · 19/08/2022 20:11

I’ve never had a pregnancy scare, used rhythm method for years (yeah yeah, mumsnet hates that, come at me if you must…🙄), got pregnant first month of trying three times. DH off for snip soon! I wouldn’t worry OP.

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 20:11

I mean, if you're asking whether sometimes people just don't use contraception in the heat of the moment and then give an explanation like "the pill didn't work" because they were a bit embarrassed (?) then yeah, I think that does happen a lot. I think people feel a bit silly and feel like they have to justify themselves sometimes.

Alternatively, it could be that some just defy the odds of contraception. It's never personally happened to me, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

We've always been careful when not wanting to conceive and we've always been fine.

Pickingmyselfup · 19/08/2022 20:11

I never have, I've always been paranoid about being pregnant but apart from the 2 planned children I've never had any other pregnancies.

I probably have had moments where it could have been a bit risky but it's never come of anything.

I'm on the implant now and it's a relief not to have to worry about taking the pill every day. The only issue is that because I don't get periods I have no early warning signs of pregnancy. It's been in 7 months now and I've taken a few tests just to make sure it's working, not been pregnant yet so I can probably safely assume it's going to continue working. It seems very unlikely it would suddenly stop but if I was to get pregnant it would definitely be a contraceptive failure unless I didn't bother to get it replaced when it expired.

Jacketandbeans · 19/08/2022 20:12

When on contraception (condoms or the pill) I never had a scare. I think it's quite normal to never fall pregnant on contraception if it is used correctly, even if you are very fertile. I did fall accidently pregnant twice due to being careless once when I was a teen and the pull out method once.
I have 3 children all conceived first month of trying.

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 20:12

@Hellocatshome

Oh for goodness sake, uncalled for.

That's not what the OP meant and you know it. Some people are just gunning for a argument on here. It's exhausting and pointless.

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 20:13

an argument*

WildOats5678 · 19/08/2022 20:15

Been on the pill for 8 years now and not once had a pregnancy scare, never used condoms with my partner as we don’t like them. He’s now had the snip so no need to worry about pregnancy scares anymore thankfully 🤞🏼

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