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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

… sex but no orgasm = bad/poor night’s sleep

31 replies

BackFT · 19/08/2022 08:34

Posting here for traffic only. Don’t need any details, a yes/no vote would be fine.

yabu = if I have sex, but no orgasm, then I sleep just fine, no problem!
yanbu = if I have sex but no orgasm, then I really don’t sleep well

to give some context, I’m with DH for many years. Starting new job in a few weeks, and as I prepare for early morning start, then I become more aware of my sleep patterns. Can’t really ask many people in real life, just a few.

OP posts:
CheeseyToasts · 19/08/2022 08:36

YABU

Are you honestly angling this towards if he doesn't make you orgasm you won't have sex on a school night?

AquaticSewingMachine · 19/08/2022 08:36

Can't answer, because it never happens. Why is someone not coming? Has a good faith effort been made and they just can't get their head there, or is someone selfish and shit in bed?

KangarooKenny · 19/08/2022 08:38

If you don’t orgasm with sex from him you need to finish it off yourself, then you’ll sleep like a baby.

Stath · 19/08/2022 08:39

Does he not make sure you orgasm first with foreplay?
Best thing to do is have a wank straight after if you don’t climax.

SavoirFlair · 19/08/2022 08:39

www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex

mattressspring · 19/08/2022 08:41

I can't say sex or orgasms have ever affected my sleep of a night.

Whataretheodds · 19/08/2022 08:43

Just make sure you sort yourself out before or afterwards. Easy.

ErrolTheDragon · 19/08/2022 08:51

Imo if anything is disturbing your sleep at a time you need it, then avoid it. Sleep is essential, sex isn't. Maybe try it at a different time of day if it doesn't work for you at night?
Other peoples experience isn't really very relevant to this tbh.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 19/08/2022 08:58

KangarooKenny · 19/08/2022 08:38

If you don’t orgasm with sex from him you need to finish it off yourself, then you’ll sleep like a baby.

But won't 'sleeping like a baby' mean you will wake up every 2 or 3 hours? 🤔

Hayva · 19/08/2022 11:57

No details from me as requested in your post, and I've voted. interesting to see the votes!

MargieMo · 19/08/2022 12:31

I assume that's the basics of being physically or mentally aroused. It will result in you bring awake longer, you won't fall instantly asleep.

It's one of the reasons i stopped going for run or gym later in the evening. It does take longer for me to fall asleep afterwards.

MargieMo · 19/08/2022 12:34

It's also very strange that the vote split is 50-50. If it's physiology thing, then I'd have expected it to be heavily biased one way or another? Anyway, you have vote!

Sapphire387 · 19/08/2022 12:34

I don't ever 'not orgasm' - is this a common thing for you? I don't often orgasm during PIV but more often during oral. Perhaps you have a partner problem?

Original poster
BackFT · 19/08/2022 12:38

@SavoirFlair i know about that board, but I've never ever posted there. Also from the few times i ever read it, it was mostly men posting, and probably very low traffic. I've posted on aibu in past, and got some very helpful replies.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 19/08/2022 12:59

YANBU

StopStartStop · 19/08/2022 13:08

Deal with yourself and leave him out of it. He'll either catch on or slope off.

Original poster
BackFT · 20/08/2022 21:01

Thanks to anyone who voted. It's an issue for me, and glad to see it's not that unusual. The only two people i could in ask in RL thought i was crazy 😧

OP posts:
Bogocz1 · 28/08/2022 00:13

My partner has a fantasy about me having my boobs felt by another man and filming it for him.
How do i go about finding someone to do this?

Yerroblemom1923 · 28/08/2022 00:17

@Bogocz1 try an ad on Facebook.

MangyInseam · 28/08/2022 03:00

Yes, I find this. I think it's typically hormonal, for me. It's unusual that I am in that situation apart from just before my period, but when it happens, it really makes my sleep terrible. Usually for the whole night.

TheSandwoman · 28/08/2022 03:07

KangarooKenny · 19/08/2022 08:38

If you don’t orgasm with sex from him you need to finish it off yourself, then you’ll sleep like a baby.

What did I just read?!

Ummmm.... no. If he can't do it then she should just not bother with the sex part and sort herself out. What waste of space man can't get their partner to orgasm?

TheSandwoman · 28/08/2022 03:08

Sapphire387 · 19/08/2022 12:34

I don't ever 'not orgasm' - is this a common thing for you? I don't often orgasm during PIV but more often during oral. Perhaps you have a partner problem?

Yep.

ShirleyJackson · 28/08/2022 03:16

Bogocz1 · 28/08/2022 00:13

My partner has a fantasy about me having my boobs felt by another man and filming it for him.
How do i go about finding someone to do this?

Just read your post out in a Wetherspoons. You’ll have a queue before you get to the end.

TheSandwoman · 28/08/2022 03:30

🤣🤣🤣

MangyInseam · 28/08/2022 12:33

MargieMo · 19/08/2022 12:34

It's also very strange that the vote split is 50-50. If it's physiology thing, then I'd have expected it to be heavily biased one way or another? Anyway, you have vote!

I found this is something that changed significantly as I aged, so I don't know if it's totally a straightforward set of variables.

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