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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husbands old flame keeps trying to add me

53 replies

IcyBlonde15 · 14/05/2022 12:48

So me and my husband are together ten years, and a girl he dated briefly tried to add me as a friend on Facebook. We have just two mutual friends so I don’t know If it’s possible that I came up as suggested, but then she tried again. I first panicked that she was getting in contact about another kid but unlike mine, her SM is public and she hasn’t got kids. I just declined both times but it has unsettled me. Why on earth would she be trying to contact my dh via me ? What possible reason?

OP posts:
GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 12:52

He's still shagging her. Or he was abusive and she's trying to tell you.

custardbear · 14/05/2022 12:53

I'd say she's trying to worm
Her way into finding stuff out about you and him and his life - block!

elenacampana · 14/05/2022 12:54

She’s probably nosey!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 14/05/2022 12:55

This is why God invented the block button.

Original poster
IcyBlonde15 · 14/05/2022 12:55

She lives in a different country to us now. They were only like 15 when they went out so can anyone really be abusive at that age and why wait til now?

OP posts:
Aussiegirl123456 · 14/05/2022 12:57

She’s likely being nosey. Block

elizabethdraper · 14/05/2022 12:57

Probably just nosey. I am friends with a few of my ex wives.

Definitely not trying to shaggy them or worm my way back in.

Aussiegirl123456 · 14/05/2022 12:57

Or write her a message asking ‘do I know you?’

custardbear · 14/05/2022 13:09

elizabethdraper · 14/05/2022 12:57

Probably just nosey. I am friends with a few of my ex wives.

Definitely not trying to shaggy them or worm my way back in.

I think the point is that the ex is trying to befriend her, I'm friends with some of my ex's but I don't pester their now partners for a friendship when they don't even know her

1FootInTheRave · 14/05/2022 13:12

Probably just nosy.

I have some of dh's ex girlfriends on sm, they're nice people tbf.

mycatisannoying · 14/05/2022 13:25

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 12:52

He's still shagging her. Or he was abusive and she's trying to tell you.

Only on Mumsnet would someone make this kind of leap.
OP, it could just be that she's a bit of a fool without much self-respect ...

WeAllHaveWings · 14/05/2022 13:30

Ask her? message and say "hi, can see you keep trying to friend me but think you must have the wrong person as I dont think we have met?"

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 13:34

mycatisannoying · 14/05/2022 13:25

Only on Mumsnet would someone make this kind of leap.
OP, it could just be that she's a bit of a fool without much self-respect ...

Show quote history

I can't imagine any other reason that isn't weird.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 14/05/2022 13:35

You have a vivid imagination @GarlicGnocchi some people are just nosey.

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 13:36

IcyBlonde15 · 14/05/2022 12:55

She lives in a different country to us now. They were only like 15 when they went out so can anyone really be abusive at that age and why wait til now?

Ah fair enough. She probably still has a crush on him or something.

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 13:36

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 14/05/2022 13:35

You have a vivid imagination @GarlicGnocchi some people are just nosey.

I have never met anyone who just randomly adds someone they don't know on Facebook but I may be wrong and out of touch.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 14/05/2022 13:37

elizabethdraper · 14/05/2022 12:57

Probably just nosey. I am friends with a few of my ex wives.

Definitely not trying to shaggy them or worm my way back in.

‘Shaggy them’ has really made me laugh 😁

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 14/05/2022 13:37

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 13:36

I have never met anyone who just randomly adds someone they don't know on Facebook but I may be wrong and out of touch.

Show quote history

I promise you some people do.

WhatIsThisPlease · 14/05/2022 13:38

Having two mutual friends is definitely enough for Facebook to suggest you as a friend to her (and vice versa). See how many friends she's got. If it's loads then she's probably just one of those odd people that adds anyone they've ever heard of.

If it's genuinely bothering you, just block her.

HailAdrian · 14/05/2022 13:41

Maybe she's just weird.

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 13:41

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 14/05/2022 13:37

I promise you some people do.

Show quote history

Fair enough I didn't think this was a thing I stand corrected. She's probably just nosey then. Message her and ask what the fuck she wants.

Original poster
IcyBlonde15 · 14/05/2022 13:44

GarlicGnocchi if she tries again I am going to and just politely say, I’m finding these repeated requests unsettling is there something in particular you want to get in touch with us about x

OP posts:
GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 13:47

Good idea

LetitiaLeghorn · 14/05/2022 13:48

I don't understand all this. I get quite a few people sending me a friend request. Some I know and some I don't. I just ignore all of them. I never knew they were all shagging or wanting to shag my husband. I didn't realise he was that attractive but I might now have to revise my opinion of him.

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 13:50

LetitiaLeghorn · 14/05/2022 13:48

I don't understand all this. I get quite a few people sending me a friend request. Some I know and some I don't. I just ignore all of them. I never knew they were all shagging or wanting to shag my husband. I didn't realise he was that attractive but I might now have to revise my opinion of him.

Maybe I'm just not as attractive as you. I didn't realise this was a thing people did. It seems so odd to me.

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