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AIBU?

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Original poster

Back from a business trip to Sweden and learnt...

35 replies

SRS29 · 04/05/2022 22:27

...that their word for step child/children is bonus! Bonus child/children 😊 Also with a colleague from Denmark who said the same. They were generally surprised at the term step......I just think the word bonus is so much nicer and more positive we should start using (imagine young children be referred to as a 'bonus'....self esteem and all that...) .....be very interested in others views

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 04/05/2022 22:30

What if they’re not? A relative of mine had step children who were objectively non-bonus. To the point it would have sounded rude and sardonic to describe them as such.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 04/05/2022 22:33

Yes, so much better.

Supersee · 04/05/2022 22:34

Watch Bonus Family on Netflix, it's good! Well the last series, not so much.

Ylvamoon · 04/05/2022 22:35

❤ all negativity removed in an instant!

Original poster
SRS29 · 04/05/2022 22:43

@MiddleParking I totally get that some must be not that and a nightmare but overall the term 'bonus' must give so many other maybe a more positive outlook and lucky to have two families? or maybe I need to get back into my fairy tale book and hide 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
SRS29 · 04/05/2022 22:59

Ylvamoon · 04/05/2022 22:35

❤ all negativity removed in an instant!

Exactly 😊

OP posts:
HandShoe · 04/05/2022 23:02

I could get on board with this. I much prefer bonus-dad for my step-dad, he’s very much a bonus!

JanglyBeads · 04/05/2022 23:07

Lovely.
Just checked derivation of "step-", it means bereaved. So, children/parents gained as a result of their bereavement, I guess.

Dilbertian · 04/05/2022 23:08

I wonder whether it's the same in Germany, because my German colleague refers to her step-children as her bonus children. I always assumed this was simply because she's a lovely person!

Blossomtoes · 04/05/2022 23:09

Absolutely love bonus children. It’s how I’ll refer to mine from now on.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 04/05/2022 23:38

My daughter has always referred to her husband's two children as her bonus children and by default they are my bonus grandchildren. They are a bonus especially as they are the only ones I have so far and no matter how many are added to the family in the normal way they will still be my first and special for that reason.

Dimples13 · 05/05/2022 03:51

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 04/05/2022 23:38
My daughter has always referred to her husband's two children as her bonus children and by default they are my bonus grandchildren. They are a bonus especially as they are the only ones I have so far and no matter how many are added to the family in the normal way they will still be my first and special for that reason.

How fortunate you all are to have such love for one another,

MyCatKeepsRumblingTheDog · 05/05/2022 03:57

As long as it applies to the step mum or dad too.

Notarealmum · 05/05/2022 04:51

I love that! Totally appropriate for me and I’m going to use it in future.

bluejelly · 05/05/2022 05:23

Love this concept Smile

Snoken · 05/05/2022 05:44

MyCatKeepsRumblingTheDog · 05/05/2022 03:57

As long as it applies to the step mum or dad too.

It does. It’s bonusmamma, bonuspappa.

SpringLobelia · 05/05/2022 05:51

I absolutely love this!

Autienotnaughtie · 05/05/2022 05:59

My dh has a cup that says thanks for being my bonus dad 😊

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts · 05/05/2022 06:10

Yup my husband is Danish so I am DSSs bonus mum and his is my bonus DS. Although we live in Switzerland so when taking in German he is still my Stiefsohn (stepson).

ChilledScandi · 05/05/2022 07:02

Also step mum and dad is extra mum and extra dad, or bonus mum and dad. Always used it, never really thought about it before.

EinsteinaGogo · 05/05/2022 07:26

I like this too.

Do they also have the term 'bonus room'?

I've seen that on some floor plans..

iknowthismuchis · 05/05/2022 07:44

Aww, my step dad died a few years ago now which is a shame because I would have loved to have called him my bonus pappa! I love that

Mumwantingtogetitright · 05/05/2022 07:57

That's lovely. Such a positive way of looking at it!

Simonjt · 05/05/2022 08:00

I didn’t realise this until I met my husband (Swedish), my son calls him Pappa rather than bonus or step, my husband calls him bonus son when talking to Swedish people, just son to others as he dislikes stepson.

It’s nice and seems a bit less othering.

PineForestsAndSunshine · 05/05/2022 08:10

That’s so lovely. My step son is most definitely a bonus.