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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU .. to hate #BeKind?

56 replies

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 27/02/2022 22:24

If it wasn't for poor Caroline Flack, nobody would be trotting out this hackneyed put down, because that is what it has become. It's used to stifle alternative viewpoints, constructive criticism and healthy debate.

Whilst nobody should be insulting anyone in personal terms online or on any forums, discussion boards are just that. I don't want to be told to #BeKind (which amounts to #ShutYerTrap) when, for example, I say on a Dancing on Ice thread elsewhere that Sally from Corrie is the weakest skater.

It's also very lazy, used when people don't have a rational argument and want to seem superior.

#BeKind with your comments ... Wink

OP posts:
CaroleFuckingBaskin · 27/02/2022 22:25

Agree

TooBigForMyBoots · 27/02/2022 22:26

I prefer Don't be a dick.

WeasilyPleased · 27/02/2022 22:27

Agreed. Smug virtue signalling.

jeaux90 · 27/02/2022 22:28

As a wiser woman than me said on Twitter "be kind" is middle class for STFU.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/02/2022 22:28

There have been loads of threads on this and thankfully most people agree with you.

I wouldn’t be quoting someone like that anyway, hardly a role model for being kind anyway Hmm

KarmaStar · 27/02/2022 22:29

Hate is a very negative emotion op!🌈
Take the good from the #bekind and don't let the rest annoy you.😀

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/02/2022 22:29

There is no good. It’s dangerous misogynist bullshit.

SpikeySmooth · 27/02/2022 22:31

Be Kind = Be Quiet.

Don't make a fuss. Don't complain. Accept it. Move on.

elfycat · 27/02/2022 22:32

I hate all the T-shirts with Bee Kind on them with a little bee being cute. Obviously all aimed at girls. The boys section doesn't have the same message.

No Be True to Yourself. If you can do it with empathy and kindness - great. If not, still be true to yourself.

I need to stay away from the scissors in shops.

Sfumato · 27/02/2022 22:32

@AnneLovesGilbert

There is no good. It’s dangerous misogynist bullshit.
Yup.
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 27/02/2022 22:32

@jeaux90

As a wiser woman than me said on Twitter "be kind" is middle class for STFU.
Exactly my point!
OP posts:
Yellowsubhubabubbub · 27/02/2022 22:36

This will be dreadfully unpopular, but I actually spent time with one of the people aforementioned
And they were a spoiled ,rude entitled brat. And their cronies.
So i don’t like much being told to “be kind”.
I just didn’t feel the need to publicly moan either
Can I be indifferent? Unbothered ? Don’t read read the daily fail? [ hmm]

WorraLiberty · 27/02/2022 22:37

Tonnes of threads on this and yes I agree OP.

Plus it's very rarely said to men when they're speaking their minds.

Kwackerly · 27/02/2022 22:39

I agree. I saw this recently, tempted to buy one for my next teams meeting...

AIBU .. to hate #BeKind?
FrippEnos · 27/02/2022 22:45

given that the # was started to protect someone that hit their partner and was pushed by various celebs one of which destroyed someone else's career in the name of 'comedy' its a very irritating #

CailleachGranda · 27/02/2022 22:48

If you can't say anything good, then say nothing.

Another one that is aimed at stifling debate

Thenamegame0 · 27/02/2022 22:49

Yanbu i think it's a joke tbh..used by many people who would be the first to stab you in the back!

PurpleDaisies · 27/02/2022 22:49

Nobody tells men to be kind. It’s a way to shut down women.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 27/02/2022 23:01

@KarmaStar

Hate is a very negative emotion op!🌈 Take the good from the #bekind and don't let the rest annoy you.😀
Who mentioned hate? I didn't.
OP posts:
Nelliephant1 · 27/02/2022 23:05

Agree completely. It's the one thing that makes me feel the complete opposite of being kind!

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 27/02/2022 23:06

@KarmaStar

Hate is a very negative emotion op!🌈 Take the good from the #bekind and don't let the rest annoy you.😀
Oh I did! In the title! And this reminds me of something else - people being called "haters" when they dare to say they aren't keen on something!
OP posts:
XenoBitch · 27/02/2022 23:08

I have used it once, and that was not to stifle anyone really. Some cow was relentless in her very personal attacks on me on social media, and it was all I could come back with.

Other than that, I agree with you.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 27/02/2022 23:10

@CailleachGranda

If you can't say anything good, then say nothing.

Another one that is aimed at stifling debate

Oh that old chestnut! Imagine that in work meetings, never mind discussion boards, forums, Mumsnet ......
OP posts:
IcedPurple · 27/02/2022 23:13

I agree, it's the same as dismissing any criticism as 'hate'. It's just a manipulative way to stifle debate and discussion.

DoucheCanoe · 27/02/2022 23:18

I agree.

It's used to shut down any sort of differing opinion rather than discussing them.

I also hate the passive aggressive "ignore them, they were probably one of the ones jumping on the hashtag this time last year".

No I can assure you I wasn't, if you think I'm a dick now - you'd have thought I was dick then too because social media doesn't influence my mind or behaviour to that extent.