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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To post this back through his letterbox

38 replies

Headachefromhells · 23/02/2022 17:41

Ex has returned DD from visitation with a bag of stuff inc lunchbox - picture attached.

We're NC and he constantly keeps her stuff - school shoes trainers etc so I have to buy loads for her to wear to school.

Do think I'm in my rights to post it through his letter box.
I won't really but it does give me the rage!

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 23/02/2022 17:42

I cant work out what it is.

Baconking · 23/02/2022 17:43

Fucking hell! How long has he had the lunchbox??

Original poster
Headachefromhells · 23/02/2022 17:44

It was her lunchbox from 2 weeks ago which he's obviously kept and not cleaned out and let rot and returned to me.

OP posts:
jimmyhill · 23/02/2022 17:44

It's the mouldy remains of a half eaten sandwich... Yuck

DetailMouse · 23/02/2022 17:44

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I cant work out what it is.
I think it was once a packed lunch!
Maunderingdrunkenly · 23/02/2022 17:44

It’s a mouldy sandwich!! What a dick

LadyNell · 23/02/2022 17:45

Disgusting couldn't he even be bothered to wash it for hods sake. I'd be tempted to post it back

Baconking · 23/02/2022 17:45

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I cant work out what it is.
It's a moldy half eaten sandwich
Crimesean · 23/02/2022 17:45

What is WRONG with him?!

StoneofDestiny · 23/02/2022 17:45

My gawd! I'd give him it back - what a mucky individual.

AnotherSillawithanS · 23/02/2022 17:47

Just wash it and carry on with your life.

WeKnowFrogsGoShaLaLaLaLa · 23/02/2022 17:47

As tempting as it is, I would do absolutely nothing. He wants a reaction, don't give it him.

LittleOwl153 · 23/02/2022 17:48

I would seek to change your arrangements so that he collects her from school and returns her to school. So her stuff has to go with her.

I'd also talk to school and ask that they don't send pE bags etc home when she is due to go to his. She can bring it home a different day or perhaps she can send it home with a friends child if it is end of term or you can collect stuff before end of day etc.

LadyNell · 23/02/2022 17:48

God's sake

LittleOwl153 · 23/02/2022 17:49

Send hernwith lunch in plastic bags on his pick up days or get her school dinners?

TangMustang · 23/02/2022 17:50

Take it as symbolising the rot in his heart and be pleased that you can wash the box out and continue with a clean box and life while he has to live with his rotten, mouldering heart Grin

Arabellla · 23/02/2022 17:51

Yes, post it back.

Can you ensure that he doesn’t get their good clothes and shoes?

RegardingMary · 23/02/2022 17:52

I bloody would.
That's absolutely foul.

At the least he'd get a picture of it and told to replace it.
I'm guessing the issue is that he does pick up Fridays so keeps all her stuff.

TangMustang · 23/02/2022 17:52

P.S. I do think he’s a tosser, just trying to make you laugh Flowers

VelvetChairGirl · 23/02/2022 17:53

throw it at his head

hellithurt · 23/02/2022 17:53

No don't, that's exactly what the bastard wants is a reaction!

Ignore him!

Wanker!

Chloemol · 23/02/2022 17:56

Don’t do it

Just bin it and tell him he needs to buy another to replace it

KylieCharlene · 23/02/2022 18:01

He needs to buy her a lunchbox to be used when she's with him.
I'd not be sending her with a lunchbox ever again.
If he sends a message asking why then send him your photo.

Nailsbythesea · 23/02/2022 18:06

Take a picture. Text it to him and say matter of fact wise - you kept dd lunchbox on x date and returned it on y date attached is a picture. Could you please not do this although it will be washed if mould gets into the cracks and she consumes it will cause illness.

Same with clothes just a text to note dd came to yours with a coat, wellies etc on Friday and you returned her on Saturday without. Please can you return it within asap or latest 24 hours so that dd is protected from cold weather etc

Then …
Furthest to my previous text you have still not returned dd cost could you please return it asap. Etc

And you keep going.

It’s called evidence

Keep yours more than reasonable and polite and pleasant and NEVER bite. Remember in the back of your head your texts are like cctv for a judge.

Mine still does it but the court order now says he must return all items within 24 hours or it is theft and I can phone the police. He doesn’t do it anymore but I played the game for 2 years before the courts got fed up with him.

At all times I was texting him like I texted a very good but unwell friend so it was hi x you seem to have taken x y z from dd back I assume by accident she needs to for school tomorrow. Could you either leave it on your doorstep or mine - please let me know so we can sort it so dd isn’t upset for school. Thank you

Etc

SmellinOfTroy · 23/02/2022 18:15

@Nailsbythesea advise is spot on