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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD maybe pregnant - unplanned

36 replies

whenexpectingtheunexpected · 15/02/2022 10:09

Hi All,

Sorry is this is long, I want to get all info down and have 2 questions need help with.

I'm pretty accurate tracking my period and have only ever been 2 days out of expected start date - I'm 4 days late but had light bleed last night and nothing since.

I'm late-20s and my boyfriend is early-30s, we have been together 6 months, don't live together but both see a future together and have had non-serious discussions of marriage, children, etc so on the same page.

I'm not on birth control and we use condoms but a couple weeks ago it came off during. Neither of us realised. From what I've read it's still too early to take a pregnancy test but I will be at weekend if period hasn't started.

My 2 questions are:
If I am pregnant, how do I tell my boyfriend? This isn't planned but I don't think would be the end of the world.

I'm currently interviewing for other jobs, if I'm pregnant what should I do? Stay in my current role for maternity pay and knowing I have something to go back to or if I get a job offer tell them I'm pregnant (if I am) and see what they decide? I'm in England.

Thanks in advance for any advice Smile

OP posts:
itwasntaparty · 15/02/2022 10:10

You are 4 days late take a test there is literally no point in thinking about the rest of it now.

PurpleDaisies · 15/02/2022 10:12

Stop doing “what ifs” and just take a test. If you’re four days late it should be positive if you’re pregnant.

How come you didn’t take the morning after pill?

MissM2912 · 15/02/2022 10:15

Stay in your current job if pregnant.
And just tell him and take it from there

SouperNoodle · 15/02/2022 10:17

It's not too early to test. If you're 4 days late and you are pregnant, it will be positive.

whenexpectingtheunexpected · 15/02/2022 10:24

I read had to wait 5 days after missed period before test would be accurate, is that not the case?

I'm thinking of the rest of it and 'what ifs' as that's the way I am, I want a plan for every scenario and if someone has told they're boyfriend about an unplanned pregnancy I'd like to hear how and how it went if they're happy to share.

In all honesty didn't think morning after pill as (sorry tmi) condom looked full and think came off while he was pulling out as was near entrance

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 15/02/2022 10:25

You can get an early test.

Viviennemary · 15/02/2022 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Rudeppl · 15/02/2022 10:27

Why waste time thinking about what ifs? You could be overthinking for nothing. Take a test and go from there. Best of luck.

notapizzaeater · 15/02/2022 10:27

You can get an early test - before making all these plans find out !

whenexpectingtheunexpected · 15/02/2022 10:30

Thanks for advise that early test will work, I'll get one while on lunch break.

OP posts:
Piggybuttons · 15/02/2022 10:34

Pregnancy tests should be accurate from the first day of your missed period, I would take one and then take it a step at a time from there Smile

LagunaBubbles · 15/02/2022 10:38

read had to wait 5 days after missed period before test would be accurate, is that not the case?

No idea where you are getting your information from but that's rubbish.

ohhooh · 15/02/2022 10:39

OP, pink dye tests (FRER) will work as would a digital clear blue if you're actually four days late. Best test and be sure!

Queenoftheashes · 15/02/2022 10:40

@Viviennemary

At your age you need to have a more responsible attitude towards contraception. YABU.
At your age you ought to know there’s no need to be such a dick, Vivienne.

OP just take a test. Personally I wouldn’t change jobs if positive as you’ll have shit mat pay but check your current provision.

Viviennemary · 15/02/2022 11:21

Its just day after day of folk being careless with contraception then finding out they are pregnant. There is even a morning after pill to deal with a situation like the OP had. I agree with not starting a new job until checked with pay entitlement. Pregnancy test without delay would be a good idea before doing anything.

britnay · 15/02/2022 11:41

Tests are more accurate if done with the first urination of the day as there will be an increased concentration of hormones.

HW1989 · 15/02/2022 11:45

You should be able to get an accurate result by 4 days after your period should have started, so that’s what you need to do ASAP before worrying about anything else. You could just be late because you’re stressed that you’re pregnant. But only a test will tell you.

My partner and I got pregnant the first time we had sex despite being careful. Used a condom which split, took a morning after pill, and shouldn’t have even been in my fertile window. Still got pregnant. My partner was shocked (well, we both were of course but I kept it to myself to process for a couple days before telling him) but I wanted to keep it and he was happy to go along with what I wanted, then began getting excited about it as the shock wore off. Unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks. It could have been make or break for our relationship, luckily it made us stronger and two years later we are very excited to be welcoming our first DC due in six weeks.

Nothingfree · 15/02/2022 11:45

Hold off anything until you know either way OP.

20viona · 15/02/2022 11:46

Get a test and forget the rest until then

HW1989 · 15/02/2022 11:46

Also, I’d suggest getting a pack of two tests. Test once as soon as possible and again tomorrow using first morning urine as this is when it is strongest and gives the most accurate results. But at 4 days past missed period you should be able to get an accurate result any time of the day.

BABAHOTEL · 15/02/2022 12:15

One step at a time, test first,

PurpleDaisies · 15/02/2022 12:21

In all honesty didn't think morning after pill as (sorry tmi) condom looked full and think came off while he was pulling out as was near entrance

The morning after pill is designed for people who haven’t used any contraception at all. Confused

I really would think carefully about where you’re getting your contraceptive information from. If you’re in that situation again, a pharmacist is a good source of reliable advice.

whenexpectingtheunexpected · 15/02/2022 14:02

Well test has come back negative but I'll rerest in the morning to double check, so now just to question why my period is late.

Thank you for kind words of advise, this is my first pregnancy scare so yes I may have started overthinking but as I said earlier I am someone who likes to have a plan for all scenarios.

OP posts:
ohhooh · 15/02/2022 14:20

@whenexpectingtheunexpected

Well test has come back negative but I'll rerest in the morning to double check, so now just to question why my period is late.

Thank you for kind words of advise, this is my first pregnancy scare so yes I may have started overthinking but as I said earlier I am someone who likes to have a plan for all scenarios.

I'll keep fingers crossed for you OP!

At four days late it shouldn't need to be FMU, but definitely retest in the morning.

Have you been ill recently? Or stressed at all? Both of those things impact my cycles!

Opus17 · 15/02/2022 14:39

COVID jab recently? They are known to less up your cycle.

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