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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Me unreasonable or him

71 replies

Oldusernewname1 · 04/01/2022 17:43

So today i took my children to a park we visit regularly- they wanted an ice cream from the van and I usually get a coffe from the shop/ hut and sit on the chairs outside or benches. Today i fancied an ice cream, it was really cold bitter so to escape the wind we sat on the chairs. The man popped his head out the hut and shouted customers only, bare in mind it wasn’t busy there was about 4-5 empty tables with chairs around.
I said oh we are trying to escape the wind,
He said again customers only in an abrupt way. I said the money I’ve spent here over the years, he then shouted customers only, the kids will get ice cream all over the seats.
The seats were metal plus there was 2 toddlers on the next table with ice creams, my dc are older.
He gestured to us to move so we got up, i said i wont be coming here again
He said good!
After that we ended up going to the car as the wind really was bitter

OP posts:

Offmyfence · 04/01/2022 19:32

@mbosnz

While he was technically in the right, he's lost at least you as a customer, and anyone local you tell, that might be inclined to also give him the swerve in future, based on your account.

But that would be cutting off her nose to spite her face?

No coffees for her at the park!

lanbro · 04/01/2022 19:33

Yep, rude (you) and I would've done similar, although probably asked you to make a purchase first.

And I know my regular customers, those who are loyal and spend money with me do get a bit of preferential treatment, eg I'll save a table if I see we're getting busy and I know they'll be in soon. I suspect you aren't as valuable a customer as you assume.

DariaMorgendorffer · 04/01/2022 19:36

YABU

WonderfulYou · 04/01/2022 19:45

Unless it was busy then YANBU - you were a customer as you brought something from him.

He could have been kinder and let you sit there whilst you drank your drink, knowing that the next time you could spend more money.

WonderfulYou · 04/01/2022 19:47

Sorry I read it wrong. I thought you had brought a coffee from him but your kids had brought an ice cream elsewhere.

YABU.

HerRoyalHappiness · 04/01/2022 19:48

Unless it was busy then YANBU - you were a customer as you brought something from him.

Not on this visit she didn't. She bought soemthing from the ice cream van and then decided to plonk herself on his seats

Prescottdanni123 · 04/01/2022 19:56

You were unreasonable.

5keletor · 04/01/2022 19:58

YABU. Sorry but if it was that cold, maybe don't sit outside eating ice cream? 🤷‍♀️

rrhuth · 04/01/2022 19:58

You were unreasonable but he handled it badly too.

Yuckypretty · 04/01/2022 20:00

Yabu

strawberry2017 · 04/01/2022 20:02

You were unreasonable. You didn't purchase anything you are not entitled to sit at his cafe.

Original poster

Oldusernewname1 · 04/01/2022 20:10

Ok i do realise i was b u
I was just upset as the park was empty there were numerous empty tables
My kids had been running round and were sweating and asked for an ice cream from the van but in that part of the park its really open to the elements and the wind picked up. Which is why we say by the wall on his seats. I just thought he was a bit mean in the way he went about it.
Id never of sat there if it was busy the park was empty.

OP posts:

inheritancetrack · 04/01/2022 20:12

You, but he was unnecessarily grumpy

rrhuth · 04/01/2022 20:12

@Oldusernewname1

Ok i do realise i was b u I was just upset as the park was empty there were numerous empty tables My kids had been running round and were sweating and asked for an ice cream from the van but in that part of the park its really open to the elements and the wind picked up. Which is why we say by the wall on his seats. I just thought he was a bit mean in the way he went about it. Id never of sat there if it was busy the park was empty.

Let it go then, maybe he had had a really shitty day or maybe it happens a lot to him and you were the last straw.

Now you know and you can just not do it again. Don't overthink it - you didn't kill anyone!

mediumbrownmug · 04/01/2022 20:14

If you’re on private property and are asked to move, YABU not to move.

Original poster

Oldusernewname1 · 04/01/2022 20:28

Thanks @rrhuth

OP posts:

AlDanvers · 04/01/2022 21:05

@Oldusernewname1

Ok i do realise i was b u I was just upset as the park was empty there were numerous empty tables My kids had been running round and were sweating and asked for an ice cream from the van but in that part of the park its really open to the elements and the wind picked up. Which is why we say by the wall on his seats. I just thought he was a bit mean in the way he went about it. Id never of sat there if it was busy the park was empty.

The problem is that people do do it when it's busy.

Its easier to just have a blanket rule and enforce it all the time.

Because on a busy Saturday someone will reply "well I sat here last Thursday with my ice cream"

Its a business, not a community center.

Thisseatisnotavailable · 04/01/2022 23:00

When you run a business there isn’t a ‘who’s right/ wrong’: there’s keeping customers sweet so they return.

I'm sorry but there very much is a time when customers can be wrong, customers don't just get to abuse their surroundings, the staff, or even the owner or manager. There has been numerous times when I have no intention of 'keeping customers sweet so they return', I'd rather spend my time and energy keeping the nice customers happy or finding ways to attract new customers.

OP I've had many times telling people that they can't bring their own food and drink and use my tables, there needs to be a blanket rule so that all staff are being consistent and the tables don't become defacto picnic benches for the whole park.

Purpleraspberry · 04/01/2022 23:11

I don't think you should have sat at the seats without buying anything from him, however his reaction was over the top and he could have at least politely asked you to buy something or move.

When you get a coffee from there is it him who usually serves you? If it is, I am wondering if he was so grumpy about it because he usually gets a sale from you so he was doubly offended (not saying that makes it right that he was grumpy, but just saying it could explain his tone)

FlasherMcGruff · 05/01/2022 10:23

All of these encounters with families like yours sitting on his seats without buying anything will add up to a lot of annoyance and he’s probably sick of it. Think about it from his POV. You’ve argued with him and just told him he’s lost a customer; he’s told you that other people have done the same and left mess. No doubt there’ll be more people following you and sitting on his seats without buying anything. The seats are part of his offering to attract paying customers, not public places to sit and have a rest or escape wind or who aren’t actually customers at the time they are sitting on them. You don’t deserve any special treatment because it’s windy. Yes, he was curt with you but how many millions of times has he had to say this to people who have argued with him? Must get tiresome.

HobgoblinGold · 05/01/2022 11:15

He's being an unnecessary arse.

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