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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Me unreasonable or him

71 replies

Oldusernewname1 · 04/01/2022 17:43

So today i took my children to a park we visit regularly- they wanted an ice cream from the van and I usually get a coffe from the shop/ hut and sit on the chairs outside or benches. Today i fancied an ice cream, it was really cold bitter so to escape the wind we sat on the chairs. The man popped his head out the hut and shouted customers only, bare in mind it wasn’t busy there was about 4-5 empty tables with chairs around.
I said oh we are trying to escape the wind,
He said again customers only in an abrupt way. I said the money I’ve spent here over the years, he then shouted customers only, the kids will get ice cream all over the seats.
The seats were metal plus there was 2 toddlers on the next table with ice creams, my dc are older.
He gestured to us to move so we got up, i said i wont be coming here again
He said good!
After that we ended up going to the car as the wind really was bitter

OP posts:
maddy68 · 04/01/2022 18:37

You are preventing him from having customers yadbu

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 04/01/2022 18:42

You were in the wrong - but if I'd have been the cafe owner, in the interests of attracting custom, my first action would've been to ask if you wanted to buy a coffee.

If you didn't, I'd have said in that case, you'd need to move if a customer needed the seats (bearing in mind this wasn't likely given the weather and all the other seats being free).

On a summer's day I'd have asked you politely to move, but it seems a bit pointless in freezing weather, to piss someone off on principle.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 04/01/2022 18:43

Sorry OP - I get why you wanted to do it, the wind was cold.

But he’s not providing his chairs to the general public out of the goodness of his heart. Is he?

He’s running a business and the chairs are for his customers.

If you hadn’t helped yourself to then, you wouldn’t have had that altercation. Hopefully there’s another cafe close by to get coffee from in the future, now you’ve told him you won’t be going back to his place.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 04/01/2022 18:44

YABU

TheAverageUser · 04/01/2022 18:45

You ABU and arguing after was the worst bit but also he could have let you sit there if it was quiet and there were no other customers.

AnotherSillawithanS · 04/01/2022 18:47

Gosh op, what miseries on this thread!

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/01/2022 18:47

Why didn’t you buy a drink? All of this could have been avoided.

Buying something in the past, even lots of things, doesn’t give you the right to sit on his chairs.

luckylavender · 04/01/2022 18:48

You were unreasonable

furbabymama87 · 04/01/2022 18:48

I would have just bought a coffee. Technically he's right but if there were spare benches, he could have just let you sit there, no harm done. Instead he's been rude and lost customers.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 04/01/2022 18:52

A coffee might have helped you warm up from the bitter wind…..?

zoemum2006 · 04/01/2022 18:55

When you run a business there isn’t a ‘who’s right/ wrong’: there’s keeping customers sweet so they return.

The man is a grumpy twit who should be in a different job.

SoupDragon · 04/01/2022 19:00

there’s keeping customers sweet so they return

The OP wasn't a customer.

Fairyliz · 04/01/2022 19:00

If the wind was so cold why on earth would you eat ice cream outside?
Surely would have made more sense to take your children in the cafe for a treat.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 04/01/2022 19:02

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

I can’t get over the fact you had ice cream outside on such a cold day!

I was thinking this too! Or at least that a hot drink would be preferable!

I developed a love for eating ice cream outside in really cold (snow and ice on the ground type of cold) when I studied in Russia in winter many years ago. It was a very normal /common thing to do there, so didn't seem odd and the ice cream didn't melt so kept its texture and coldness, which I really liked.
LondonQueen · 04/01/2022 19:05

You were being totally unreasonable.

Mudflaps · 04/01/2022 19:06

If the seats had been in side the cafe you wouldn't have used them, you are in the wrong to use them just because they were outdoors. We had a similar business and the cheek of some people was shocking,we had them move our seats to a more preferable space for the picnic they brought with them!! I'm on the side of the business owner wholeheartedly.

Stompythedinosaur · 04/01/2022 19:06

I think you were in the wrong - you can't sit in the premises of a business when you aren't a customer. You could have found a bench to sit on, or you could have bought something.

Getting to sit in the seats is part of what you are paying for when you buy from there.

AlphabetStew · 04/01/2022 19:11

How many children do you typically have with you OP? He may not be too sad to lose your custom if you buy one coffee and take up four seats. He'd probably prefer four adults each buying themselves a coffee take those seats. Of course, in the absence of four thirsty adults then yes, one coffee purchasing adult would be preferable to zero.

Lentil63 · 04/01/2022 19:12

He was entitled to keep his seats for his customers and if you weren’t buying from him, I’m sorry but YABU. That having been said my husband has run a food business for over 30 years, he would absolutely know his regular customers and would not offend them in this way. This person doesn’t appear to have a very nuanced business brain.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 04/01/2022 19:14

@Lentil63

He was entitled to keep his seats for his customers and if you weren’t buying from him, I’m sorry but YABU. That having been said my husband has run a food business for over 30 years, he would absolutely know his regular customers and would not offend them in this way. This person doesn’t appear to have a very nuanced business brain.
Agree with your point, but maybe the OP isn’t as ‘regular’ as she’d like to think she is.

Or maybe the man just isn’t very bothered about losing her custom.

pigsDOfly · 04/01/2022 19:20

Next time you go to somewhere like Starbucks take a thermos of coffee with you, try drinking it on their premises and see how that goes down.

His seats are for customers buying from him not for people sheltering from the wind.

friendlycat · 04/01/2022 19:20

Absolutely entitled to sit at his seats if you have purchased items from him. Not entitled to a seat if you have not.

Having been a previous customer really does not come into it.
(Unless you were a customer earlier in the walk perhaps and then returned.)

Then you were petty. He is running a business.

AlDanvers · 04/01/2022 19:24

Yabu. Very much so.

And the 'I won't buy an odd coffee here again' really isn't the amazing come back you think it is

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 04/01/2022 19:26

He could not have been clearer. And you were very rude.

moochies · 04/01/2022 19:32

Sorry but YABU op.

He probably has this happen 10 times a week. Our local park cafe now has a sign saying that seating is for paying customers only, as they had families with picnics using it and not buying anything.

Unfortunately you can't buy a coffee once a week and then use their facilities whenever you want when you're not buying anything, it's just not cool.