If aibu was a movie

[Globaluser]

I’m thinking 10-15 short stories from posters, perhaps posted on the same day, maybe a inside look on several posters lives. I don’t know.

What aibu stories would you like to see on the silver screen?

Coming to a big screen near you. A tale of cunning and deceit. “The film of the season” according to The Times. “The audience was kept on the edge of their seats from beginning to end” according to the Guardian.

Will it get cancelled? Should it? What do you think?

The Cheque.

At cinemas everywhere from 3rd January

Coming this summer to a cinema near you..

*JUST

SEND

THE

TEXT*

Coming soon to the big screen..... a story that will leave you shocked and shook!

A story that will make you snap and fart!

An event so feared it would strike ordinary posters down with galloping conniptions.

An outcome so appalling that NC could be the only probable outcome.

Guaranteed to stop batch cooking from scratch dead in its tracks....

For Whom The Doorbell Rings

A thriller to end all thrillers. All the big name actors are starring in ‘Someone parked near my drive blocking me in’. With new CGI diagrams and Peter Parker playing the role of the offending driver. Dame Judi Dench playing the role of the householder with pen and paper ready to write a passive aggressive note to stick on the car. Pixar will be providing the diagrams and associated animations with Morgan Freeman voicing the parked car itself

It’s got to be The Great Mexican House Theft!

Coming this spring

Leave the B*stard

Oh like ‘short cuts’ (Altman).
I used to want to do this with eg tube train bods or there was a corner cafe seat central London I’d always wonder about backstory of the different bods sitting there as I passed.

I’d want mix - so

1. Gritty urban chaotic parking thread
2. Inheritance drama
3. School vs home misunderstanding
4. Mil starring in one maybe dream sequence ‘what it could have been’
5. Cooking one dish different ways and family /partner reactions
6. Travel - anticipation the. The reality - poor behaviour by friend travelling with etc.
7. Wedding segment obvs - maybe centred around decision and fallout of ‘child free’ decision
8. Vox pop or documentary about home germs - could include loo brush loo bin towel and bedding washing habits dishwasher or not etc.
9. The bill splitter - the fall out the debate ! The drunk guest slurring ‘but I only had one glass of wine’ etc.

Alternatively we could have several parts:

The split - Red flags
The split 2 - MNetter gets her ducks in a row
The split 3 - LTB
The Split 4 - OW plays up.

maybe a inside look on several posters lives

Never gonna happen - nobody will ever answer the door, much less let the film crew in.

But aside from that, what did the producer say when you asked them about it, OP?

If you're looking for a genuine fly-on-the-wall documentary, I have a close Norwegian friend who works full-time in a pub right now, but he's always dreamed of hitting the big time and becoming a big movie star. He'd absolutely love to see his name up in lights at the premiere of his grand debut in 'Leif the Barsteward'.

Sounds like CrimbleCrumble1 has heard whispers of his upcoming epic already!

Or a docu séries about new mn food venture ‘ice cream in the Sistine’. With surprisingly retro decor and good tall ceilings.

Mental Load.

Christmas special to binge watch on Netflix
1 How many showers a week (includes hair washing and flannel extras)
2 Bedsheets the change
3 everyone gathers round for rightmove
4 Buffet dilemma

That's all I can think of and definitely not as funny as above posters 😳

That’s actually an amazing idea, OP. Some suggestions for stories covering my different genres:

1. Single character film featuring a monologue from someone who never answers the door. We finally get an insight into why people do this.
2. Parallel LTB stories. Two women describe their stories. Then we see the other side of the story form their partners. One woman really should LTB. In the other relationship, he’s the one that should be doing the dumping.
3. Wildlife style documentary. This one shows the most hated creature in the domestic setting. The Mother in Law. And we find that they’re not all bad.
4. Kim and Aggy style cleaning documentary. They actually show us a toilet brush in a dishwasher.
5. Cookery travel film - around the week in a single chicken
6. Conspiracy theory movie - a woman believes that all women claiming to be high earners on MN make it up and that it’s a conspiracy theory. Then she’s discovers that it’s real. The women were low making it up.
7. Tragedy - grandparent gives toddler a sip of fizzy drink or something much worse - coffee
8. Christopher Nolan style mind bender - what is a woman? That great mystery up there with ‘is there other life out there’
9. Romcom - where should a woman go to meet a rich man

10. Horror - person turns up at the supermarket/shop/establishment of their choosing during the pandemic and sees that sight that no one ever wants to see. No, no don’t worry, there’s loo roll available, but there are people walking around without masks. The fight for survival begins….

My Gifted Child

The Third Child

Or a horror option /The Baylis and Harding Gift Set

Buffet dilemma 😃

@Guavaf1sh

Coming to a big screen near you. A tale of cunning and deceit. “The film of the season” according to The Times. “The audience was kept on the edge of their seats from beginning to end” according to the Guardian.

Will it get cancelled? Should it? What do you think?

The Cheque.

At cinemas everywhere from 3rd January

🤣🤣🤣 Fantastic!! “This season…the true meaning of “cancel culture” awaits…”

Other short features:

I Know What Fatballs You Ate Last Summer
The Ring…starring Elderly Korean Lady
Penguin Bollards of Madagascar

Comedy sequel starring Robert DeNiro and Ben Stiller

Meet the (Cheeky) Fuckers

Also Meet the (selfish) Fuckers.

Chanel 4 type series -
ep 1 ‘They fight back’ - owners of names mn decrees to be ‘chavvy’ stand up and speak out.
(Short series).

Surely all you need to capture the essence of MN is to remake

Gaslight

"No..." (is a complete sentence)
Coming to theatres 2022!

An Invite is not a Summons.

You could make like a docuseries instead.....

Gardening world....with Korean Lady.

Sistine chapel close up....with screaming drama queen.

Wish you were here....with The Mexican House Thief.

Dunkin dicks....with Penis Beaker.

Control your IBS....with Snapped and farted.
Etc.