...to expect you Professional MNers to...

[5goldrings4MONKEYBIRDs]

....bloody enlighten us Newbies about the Hidden Depths A LITTLE EARLIER so I don't have to:

a. assess what the minimum time is to cuddle my two youngest to sleep so I can get back on to catch up on 41 fecking pages of Middle Class Bore, 8 million pages of Don't Do This and I haven't even found Jon Ronson's Missus yet. Can we have a very special mini-digest of Essential MN classics please otherwise DH will be calling social services soon...?

b. burn my bacon and smoke out my kitchen, and put a whole in my bread trying to butter it too quickly?

c. get butter all over my keyboard?

My own fault I know for not looking beyond Breast and bottle for 2 months but FFS you coulda pointed me in the right direction? Where do I fecking start?

Thanks VS!

I think that maybe this was my favourite line:

"He was behaving so intimately with that knife sharperner. I feel strange and sort of jealous. He was handling it so gently."

I like the fact that they do NOT have semen on their bed, theyhave a throw for that.

Or the email, 'You didn't even like them when we bought them, you said you preffered the one in argos'

Lol, fluffy, I'll be your mentor if you want but I'm a newbie of the highest order!

Or maybe this:

"I am deeply shocked really. I know it's not another woman but the most adventurous he has ever been before was when we did it here in the garage on top of the grow bags. Now that memory is all sullied "

Oh god, I am SO loving their work...

am only halfway through but surely katylui wasn't really taking it seriously? bless em.

Please if I end up hook line and sinkered like this, just shoot the monkeybudgie and put me out of my misery...

I believed it

victorian, i do agree with you re 15 mins being much easier on the eye than zctivve convos. I never look at active convos.

mumsnet mentor?

who'd be flashman?
who'd be moleworth?
who'd be gripper?
who'd be Lauren?

It could never work.

Active Convos is like an extreme sport though - fast, exhilerating, adrenaline-packed ...

Pinetreedog - am ignorant newbie and don't get your references but am intrigued. What does it mean? Who are flashman, moleworth, gripper and lauren?

Please tell!

There was a MN mentors thread a while ago. VVVQV was mine.

they are not mn references, I was just wondering how some mnetters would measure up as mentors.

(flahman, molesworth from books, Gripper from Grange Hill, Lauren C Tate's schoolgirl character)

was yours?

Did she fag you and dump you?

So i was

Something like that!

There were quite a few mentor/mentee partnerships. Someone changed there name to lulumamasmentee, I think.

*their

lol pinetree
i'll be lauren easy

Oh I see...

Bagsy the author of the Lakeland Romance for my mentor - shinyhappyetc - is she still here?

Yep, she'll be shinyhappy something else or other. A christmas variant at the moment I believe.

Come on then, whose going to be my mentor??

pmsl at "fanjo monitor".

Literally.

Think I need fanjo monitor to help with pelvic floor issues .

Did you really have "lackies" or did you just make that bit up? What kind of cyber duties were they expected to perform?

Lackies have to follow their mentors around posting 'great post' after everything they type.
Seriously. It's strange.

Great post VS!

So, what do the lackies get out of this relationship?