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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OLD and the coffee cup

53 replies

allenkeys · 28/10/2021 17:46

So I did a RL meet from OLD and was pleasantly surprised. He looked like his profile pic, attractive to look at, could hold a conversation, talked about his family and what it was like to be a widower, we talked about shared interests, he raised some interesting topics, and then ... he sipped his coffee while looking at me and he... eurgh .. momentarily rested his tongue on the cup before drinking from it.
My whole being was the saying no, no, get out of there, never want to see him again. AIBU to fob him off with some random excuse?

OP posts:
Newwifeatnumber10 · 28/10/2021 17:48

Did he do it repeatedly or could it just have been once? Could it be nerves? I hear you though it’s very off putting.

Duxiejhrhrvjz · 28/10/2021 17:50

I don’t understand this? Is it a sexual thing? Bad manners? Halloween Confused

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 28/10/2021 17:51

What is an old?

Newwifeatnumber10 · 28/10/2021 17:51

On line dating.

onlymyselftoanswerto1 · 28/10/2021 17:53

Throw him back, if it's giving you the ick now it will only get worse!

Original poster
allenkeys · 28/10/2021 17:53

He made eye contact as he did it .. twice.

(OLD is online dating)

Urghh put it out of my mind.

OP posts:
HauntedVag · 28/10/2021 17:55

Argh. So it was intentional?

Nope, I couldn't get passed that. I can see it in my head now. I'm picturing Jez from Peep Show when he's trying to look sexy but is looking like an absolute div.

daisypond · 28/10/2021 17:56

Is he really a widower?

MrsColon · 28/10/2021 17:57

Clearly deliberate if twice. Go no further with this man!

AmandaHoldensLips · 28/10/2021 17:57

BOAK

Newwifeatnumber10 · 28/10/2021 17:58

Urgh, dump dump dump!

MrsColon · 28/10/2021 17:58

@daisypond

Is he really a widower?
Good point - widowers are apparently far more attractive than divorced men or bachelors. Could be a line (like many men pretend to be firefighters).
Original poster
allenkeys · 28/10/2021 17:59

On a positive note, it was my first attempt and it's put me off OLD for life. [thumbsup]

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 28/10/2021 17:59

Bit harsh. Id give him another try and if does it again say to him. What is the worse that could happen

ChatterMonkey · 28/10/2021 18:01

I cant picture what you mean?? Like he put his tongue in the coffee before drinking? Or was his tongue on the outside of the cup??

TaraR2020 · 28/10/2021 18:02

I mean, you could give him another chance and once getting on well just call him out on it. You'd probably be doing the rest of humanity a favour tbh

Spidersinmyhair · 28/10/2021 18:03

I would try again. I went on a date with a guy that kept edging towards me and I kept moving back, until I'd moved several feet away from my bag and I had to go and fetch it. It really put me off him. But I did a second date and another and it never happened again. I was with him for 8 years in the end and he's still a good friend.

Original poster
allenkeys · 28/10/2021 18:04

@ChatterMonkey

I cant picture what you mean?? Like he put his tongue in the coffee before drinking? Or was his tongue on the outside of the cup??
On the outside of the cup briefly .. before the cup met his lips and he tilted it up and sipped from it.. all the time looking at me from over the cup... stop doing this to me. Need a new mental image now.
OP posts:
Row1n · 28/10/2021 18:07

Some people drink like this. I have a friend who does it and to begin with it used to make me internally shiver but Ive realised now that its just one of her quirks and Im not going to get rid of a good friend because she drinks in a slightly strange way!
Unless he was sleazy in any other way I would just take it that is how he drinks and give him longer to really find out about him

Original poster
allenkeys · 28/10/2021 18:07

@TaraR2020

I mean, you could give him another chance and once getting on well just call him out on it. You'd probably be doing the rest of humanity a favour tbh
Grin

There was also the small matter of him asking me what I did in my spare time, about 40 minutes into the conversation, after we'd discussed my job, my pet, my three separate hobbies...

OP posts:
KurtWildeWitchOfTheWoods · 28/10/2021 18:08

If I liked him and we hit it off I might've cringed a bit but I don't think it would bother me tbh.

TempleofZoom · 28/10/2021 18:08

Eeeek!!!
Do you mean in a delibately sexual way or he just has a big tongue?
I know someone who sticks their tongue right out when they take a mouthful.
Its awful

muldersspeedos · 28/10/2021 18:10

Sick and twisted pervert. Run.

ChatterMonkey · 28/10/2021 18:12

Clutching at straws as to a reason... Sometimes if im drinking from a very full glass or cup, i 'find' the edge with my bottom lip as im about to drink it to stop me from tilting it too early and spilling it... Could he have just been doing a version of that that appeared more obvious because he was extra nervous about spilling all over himself on a date...?

Now im worried that what i do is offputting, i figured it was normal....? I never do it with my tongue though, just more resting on my bottom lip before tilting...

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 28/10/2021 18:12

Maybe it's just a bad habit?!

Flipping hell there are a lot of pearl clutchers on here at the moment