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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people are so nasty

35 replies

TurnUpTurnip · 08/10/2021 14:57

I was out shopping earlier, I had just left a shop and the bus stop is right outside the shop, as I walked up to it a bus came but parked slightly down from the bus stop (just passed it) I noticed a woman at the bus stop but she was hanging back and wasn’t attempting to get on just noticed she had a shopping trolley and seemed to be looking in it. I walked over to it and got on as there was no one else there, she then got on after men and marched over to me and called me a “stupid cow” for “not waiting” now I had no idea she was trying to get on the bus as several buses come to that bus stop and she wasn’t actively attempting to get on it and the bus had parked further down like I said,’so was I suppose to miss it whilst she looked for what I assume was her bus pass?! She was at the bus stop before me so surely she could have had it ready in that time. I was really shocked as she came on her face was all screwed up and she shouted it at me in front of everyone, I use the bus often in London and everyone just gets on, I was at the bus stop the other day with my pram and another pram came after me but got on before me, I didn’t start screaming at them. Aibu to wonder why people are so nasty?

OP posts:
TLIMSISNW · 08/10/2021 15:01

Don’t worry OP.

Imagine being the sort of person who gets so riled up and behaves so badly over such a minor perceived issue. At least you aren’t them. I pity people like that.

Don’t let them spoil your day.

Underamour · 08/10/2021 15:06

Ignore. It’s her not you.

PurpleDaisies · 08/10/2021 15:09

I don’t think most people are nasty. It sounds like someone having a very bad day and you did nothing wrong. Just forget about it.

Walesrecommendations · 08/10/2021 15:12

Its her not you. I actually think some people engineer this sort of situation to create some drama in their lives/give them something to complain about and a way to make others feel as shit as they do about themselves.

Pollywants · 08/10/2021 15:13

People with shitty live like to take out their frustration on others....especially other women. I bet she wouldn't have done that to a man.

Good for you that you told her off.

Original poster
TurnUpTurnip · 08/10/2021 15:13

@Walesrecommendations

Its her not you. I actually think some people engineer this sort of situation to create some drama in their lives/give them something to complain about and a way to make others feel as shit as they do about themselves.
Yes it certainly seemed that way, I still don’t understand what she thought had happened, what if she didn’t find her pass so the bus drove off 😕 a bus I didn’t even know she was getting on and she was standing still!
OP posts:
Leftphalange · 08/10/2021 15:14

Unfortunately some people are, you just have to shake it off and try not to take it personally

seaandsandcastles · 08/10/2021 15:27

Someone did something similar to me last week when I had my baby with me. I just said “There’s no need for that attitude, thank you” and they didn’t say anything else.

Pythonista · 08/10/2021 15:30

Because most people are nasty! I realise people on MN value 'kindness' above everything else but out in the real world, it has little or no value.

Unless it's an extreme situation, don't help people - let them get on with it

Pythonista · 08/10/2021 15:33

Sorry just realised you weren't helping her.

I find if you assume that most people are bellends, it saves a lot of time and angst

Legoisthebest · 08/10/2021 16:11

Were you in Brixton? I wonder if it was the same miserable woman who shouted at the bus driver yesterday and called him a 'stupid man' because he didn't stop right by the bus stop sign. He couldn't because there was another bus already there. She made him move the bus forward. He did - about 2 foot. Apparently this was 'fine' Grin

vivainsomnia · 08/10/2021 16:23

Sorry OP but in this scenario I see that you were the very rude one.

She was there, what do you think she was doing but getting ready to get in the bus. In doubt, as often the case, the polite thing to do is look and smile at the person and say 'sorry, are you waiting to go on this bus'. She would have said yes and that would have been the end.

Clearly you didn't bother. Her response was also rude but she understandably was frustrated as she was just slow getting her pass.

And then you see it into yourself to tell her she should have got her pass ready instead of apologising for cutting in front??

I can't believe that you can't see how rude and unpleasant you were. Shameful!

Original poster
TurnUpTurnip · 08/10/2021 16:40

Wow 😮 like I said someone went in front of me the other day at the bus stop because we both had prams but the woman came after me but my pram wheel got stuck so another person was helping me so the other lady with the pram just on ahead and didn’t wait for me, I would have never expected her to, and 5 buses come to this bus stop so no it wasn’t clear she was waiting I didn’t look at what she was doing as she wasn’t near to the bus (like I said if stopped far away) and she was a distance up, are you the woman 😂

OP posts:
MissJeanBrodiesprime · 08/10/2021 16:51

I wouldn’t worry about it op, the woman was having an off day or something, not that that’s an excuse to shout at anyone. The fact you’re now concerned shows you’re a good person so just try and forget about it and enjoy the rest of your day.

TLIMSISNW · 08/10/2021 17:03

vivian are you the woman?

I fail to see how you can defend a woman shouting at someone and calling them a ‘stupid cow’.

Pythonista · 08/10/2021 17:18

@TLIMSISNW

vivian are you the woman?

I fail to see how you can defend a woman shouting at someone and calling them a ‘stupid cow’.

Well just getting on in front of her was rude. Just 'are you waiting to get on this one' would have been polite
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 08/10/2021 17:37

I can't believe that you can't see how rude and unpleasant you were. Shameful

Are you quite alright?

It doesn't sound like OP delayed the woman as she was still rooting around for her bus pass. I fail to see how this was remotely rude. If anything it's rude to expect people to wait because you couldn't get your bus pass out and ready to go earlier.

Original poster
TurnUpTurnip · 08/10/2021 17:45

The trouble is if I had waited I suspect the bus would have driven off as no one was attempting to get on it, the bus isn’t going to stand and wait there whilst someone looks for their pass, they only wait if you get on the bus and look for it but she hadn’t, like
I’m going to miss the bus because someone can’t find their pass! What if she never found it 🤨 but I can see some posters are trying to be deliberately argumentative

OP posts:
amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 08/10/2021 17:47

Nasty people are deeply unhappy in their lives.

Pity them. Hope you're okay OP x

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 08/10/2021 17:51

Bloody hell the op wasn't holding the women up and she wasn't at risk of being unable to get on the bus just because op got on before her. Actually the women was rude before even opening her mouth by faffing about and thinking op should wait.

And it seems it wasn't even clear the women wanted the same bus

Original poster
TurnUpTurnip · 08/10/2021 17:53

The bus was fairly empty she was acting like I took the last seat or something Confused

OP posts:
Suspicioussam · 08/10/2021 17:57

Some people are just nasty and angry OP and you'll find plenty on AIBU, it's like a magnet for them. So be careful posting on here if you're feeling remotely fragile!

pelosi · 08/10/2021 17:58

@TurnUpTurnip

Wow 😮 like I said someone went in front of me the other day at the bus stop because we both had prams but the woman came after me but my pram wheel got stuck so another person was helping me so the other lady with the pram just on ahead and didn’t wait for me, I would have never expected her to, and 5 buses come to this bus stop so no it wasn’t clear she was waiting I didn’t look at what she was doing as she wasn’t near to the bus (like I said if stopped far away) and she was a distance up, are you the woman 😂
vivainsomnia often has … interesting opinions Hmm

Pay no mind.

Onesailwait · 08/10/2021 18:01

You didn't do anything wrong, she was rude. If she was that bothered about getting on 1st she should have had her pass ready to go.
Rules for avoiding odd drama in the bus
1 mask on
2 ear buds in
3 dont make eye contact with anyone

potter5 · 08/10/2021 18:29

Weird people on here tonight.

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