To wonder why people are so nasty

[TurnUpTurnip]

I was out shopping earlier, I had just left a shop and the bus stop is right outside the shop, as I walked up to it a bus came but parked slightly down from the bus stop (just passed it) I noticed a woman at the bus stop but she was hanging back and wasn’t attempting to get on just noticed she had a shopping trolley and seemed to be looking in it. I walked over to it and got on as there was no one else there, she then got on after men and marched over to me and called me a “stupid cow” for “not waiting” now I had no idea she was trying to get on the bus as several buses come to that bus stop and she wasn’t actively attempting to get on it and the bus had parked further down like I said,’so was I suppose to miss it whilst she looked for what I assume was her bus pass?! She was at the bus stop before me so surely she could have had it ready in that time. I was really shocked as she came on her face was all screwed up and she shouted it at me in front of everyone, I use the bus often in London and everyone just gets on, I was at the bus stop the other day with my pram and another pram came after me but got on before me, I didn’t start screaming at them. Aibu to wonder why people are so nasty?

She's obviously not right. I know jumping a queue is worse than murder in this country but really! She must be a very unhappy person and is to be pitied.

vivainsomnia How can you say OP is rude when the other woman called her names? It’s not the OPs responsibility to check things out for other people. You are obviously one of the nasty ones

@vivainsomnia
I don’t think you’ve ever been on a bus in London have you!

She was definitely rude, but I didn’t think most people are.

Some people really just thrive on being negative. A couple of years ago I got on a bus. I didn't look visibly disabled but I had just just had endometriosis surgery and had a catheter strapped to my leg. I had metalwork in my pelvis also. I have a disabled bus pass and normally I will try and sit further up the bus. On this occasion the whole bus was full apart from 3 disabled seats. Because I deigned to sit in the seat as "a young un" I got yelled and humiliated at by an elderly man. I was 40 at the time.
I sat there for 5 minutes and I am so glad I plucked the courage up to say something to him as I got off the bus

That doesn't sound like a normal person, really. I'd suspect there might be something not quite right with her, to be so violently angry over something so inconsequential.

She was taking forever, it wasn't clear whether she was going on the bus or not. You could have asked if she was getting on that bus, but really, what difference did it make? The bus wasn't full. She wasn't pushed aside. You didn't cause her to miss her bus. Life went on as usual, except she decided she had to make an issue of it because she's a horrible bullying grump.

Oh, and she sounds like just the type of person who would have been just as furious and shouty if you'd dared to ask if she was getting on the bus, because then, of course, you'd have been rushing her or something.

With some people, you simply can't win, whatever you do.

I know there’s risk in saying something back in these situations, but I often do. I feel as though nasty people need to feel a little discomfort, or they’ll be encouraged to escalate this anti-social behaviour with others. I can take it, but I know others can really be hurt and obsess about it.

I usually put a bemused look on my face and say ‘Gee, you must be a real joy to live with!’ and then turn away (walk away, start a phone call, etc). I must say it usually works a treat. It completely ignores whatever it is they’re banging on about (which they hate), and causes everyone within earshot to focus on them, not me. It’s unexpected enough that they usually don’t say anything back. I even had one guy’s wife say ‘You’re right about that’ in response to my sarcasm. Should have seen his face!

Mainly my phrase is ‘one size fits all’ enough that I can trot it out quickly. I hate that ‘should’ve said something’ feeling when you get paralysed in the moment.

By the way, this stuff has gotten a lot worse due to covid. It’s as if all the normal filters between people’s brains and mouths have been switched off en masse. Relearning how to act in groups, and lengthening our ‘short fuses’ will take some time. Some part of me truly fears it won’t happen at all.

You wouldn't want to live in Ireland, no one queues for buses, no one waits for anyone, it's all for one and everyone just bails on and tough shite if you're left behind. If you're lucky the driver won't close the door on you and drive off. 😂😂

That’s what it’s like in London no one queues everyone just gets on! The only time people give priority is wheel chair users (rightly so) and prams if one was there before the other, everyone else just gets on no one checks who was there first or forms an orderly queue and I’ve never been asked by anyone if I’m waiting 🤦 if you don’t try to get on it people will just assume you don’t want it! Hence why I was so surprised.. people who think I should have asked her obviously don’t get on the bus in London 😂 no one asks you, imagine asking at the tube station wow everyone just literally jumps on, same for bus, when it’s very busy at the bus stop like in town centres / rush hour it would be impossible to tell who was there first!