Congratulated on pregnancy when actually am just fat 😞AIBU to ask for help shifting this weight off my belly?!

[Sparetyres]

I am significantly overweight partly due to going through a horrible break up which has made me binge eat and partly because the antidepressants I am on increase your appetite and cause weight gain. I think I am about 4 or 5 stone overweight. I have been doing 900 kcal a day for about a month and have lost a stone. But then a few days ago a mum who lives near me said "omg I didn't realise! Congratulations!" as she thought I was pregnant I don't know who was more embarrassed, it was awful. I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. The thing is though, that I do look pregnant. Especially after eating or if I am PMSing. I can see how she thought I was pregnant. All the women in my family are "apples" - cousins and aunts have also had encounters like this. Is there any way to get rid of it?? I don't know if my belly will be the last thing to go when I diet or if I should get surgery or something? I haven't been slim since the birth of my second child, who was an enormous baby (not a caesarean though so don't have scar - I was a caesarean and my mum has had an overhang ever since because of how they sewed her up after the emergency CS.) Also concerned about carrying weight around your tummy being worse than carrying it on your bum in terms of heart disease etc. Thanks!!

My sympathies.

I was congratulated on being pregnant too. “ohhhh a baby, how exciting!” Whilst she gestured at my tummy.
“Nope, just fat”

I too am an apple shape so yes, belly was the last to go. In fact it didn’t actually go until I got towards the lower end of my BMI.

I’ve been on AD and Gabapentin for years and have an underactive thyroid that I (wrongly) blamed for my weight. I started logging everything I consumed on My Fitness Pal and stuck to between 1,300 -1,500 calories a day. 900 calories is too low and unsustainable.

I took my time over it, around 18 months, and now I have spent the last 16 months as a size 8/10.

I still log everything I consume but my maintenance calories have gone up to 1,650. My Fitness Pal has educated me as to where I was eating extra calories. The fact that a sandwich can have more calories than a roast dinner is staggering, that little biscuit that is only 98 calories that you think you can have 3 of can be the item that tips you over your calorie target.

My Fitness Pal has been life changing.

Congratulations on losing a stone already!

Ah that's interesting you didn't lose it till the end of your weight loss (which is amazing BTW- massive congratulations!!!). Yeah maybe the 900 a day is too little... I thought that I would see more of a difference after a month but I guess when you are severely overweight even losing a whole stone doesn't stop you from being fat! That is crazy about the sandwiches!! Do you literally log everything? Have you done any sit ups or anything to lose the weight or "just" diet? Thanks! X

I started Protein Priority Diet last month and I am already down 15lbs and it's all come off my belly. I lost a lot of weight before and put some back on during lockdown. My previous strategy didn't work but this did. It's high protein and you can eat anything you want really. It's hard to wrap your head around it at first but once you get into the swing of it, it's easy. I am never hungry anymore!!

You are eating way too low calories. I weigh 18 stone. Last year Id had enough and did an 800 calorie diet recommended by a TV Doctor. After two weeks I was suffering with a pounding heart. On arrival to A&E was rushed straight to resus as nearly 200bpm. Basically my electrolytes had gone so low I was having cardiac problems. I had to be on drip infusions and stay in hospital. It has left me with a damaged heart. So I strongly advise you to up your calories

@Cantcook842

You are eating way too low calories. I weigh 18 stone. Last year Id had enough and did an 800 calorie diet recommended by a TV Doctor. After two weeks I was suffering with a pounding heart. On arrival to A&E was rushed straight to resus as nearly 200bpm. Basically my electrolytes had gone so low I was having cardiac problems. I had to be on drip infusions and stay in hospital. It has left me with a damaged heart. So I strongly advise you to up your calories

Omg I am so sorry that happened to you. I read that they are putting very overweight people on vlcds now so that was why I decided on 900cal - maybe I should up it.

@Cazzovuoi

I started Protein Priority Diet last month and I am already down 15lbs and it's all come off my belly. I lost a lot of weight before and put some back on during lockdown. My previous strategy didn't work but this did. It's high protein and you can eat anything you want really. It's hard to wrap your head around it at first but once you get into the swing of it, it's easy. I am never hungry anymore!!

Oh that is interesting... I was kind of hoping there was some kind of science behind it, whereby certain foods make you lose weight from your belly area. I don't know if that is possible though 🙄 (If only those "one weird trick to belly fat loss" ads were real, eh!?)

@Cazzovuoi do you have a link for that?

Congrats on your weight loss so far.
If you are overweight by 4 or 5 stone, then you have some way to go before being able to discern whether your stomach/pot belly will remain.
Good luck with the rest of your weight loss journey.

Sorry OP Are the AD generally working well? If they are you would want to persevere. If not, including if weight gain is contributing to worse MH maybe discuss alternatives with your doctor. (Not just stop.) also I know some people have that as a side effect and it plateaus.

I can’t comment on the plan you are using. I used Weightwatchers after ADs caused a gain, haven’t tried anything else (only maintained for about a year).

Seriously why do people feel the need to make this comment? Sorry this happened to you. It happened to a receptionist once at the doctor surgery by someone else and she looked morfitied. Felt like hitting the lady for saying it!

I’ve had this experience too. For the first time in years I have a flattish tummy with the ‘apron’ from having babies and it’s all because I don’t eat anything with wheat anymore. My advice give up wheat, it changed everything for me, less bloating too

900 calories is far too low- it could make you very ill. The My Fitness Pal app is a way to track calories- it has you put in your weight and height and suggests 3 options of calorie limits for you. Start with the highest and work your way to the lowest number.

You will lose belly fat with the rest of your weight loss, and when you've lost a bit more weight you'll find it easier and more comfortable to do toning exercises.

As you've managed 900 calories a day you'll surely be dedicated enough to lose weight in a healthy safe way. When you get the hang of it and aren't too harsh on yourself it'll become normal. Good luck!

I'm following this. I'm not overweight in gross terms - 68kg and 5'8", but the extra 5kg I've gained is all on my tummy.

@Sparetyres just diet -no exercise as I couldn’t at the time due to health issues.
Yes I (weigh and) log EVERYTHING. Every cup of tea with milk in, every packet of crisps, every roast potato.

It does take time initially but once you have all your favourites in you can log at the click of a button. You can even add all your ingredients so you know exactly how many calories that home made cottage pie/bol/soup/birthday cake or whatever is.

I don’t deny myself anything, if I want a packet of crisps with my sandwich I will have them but, by logging, I know how many calories I have left to eat. It has educated me to make better choices.

Following with interest.
Weighed myself yesterday and I am at least 7 stones overweight and starting to suffer health effects. So started today.

Perhaps you have diastasis recti?

@Cazzovuoi

I started Protein Priority Diet last month and I am already down 15lbs and it's all come off my belly. I lost a lot of weight before and put some back on during lockdown. My previous strategy didn't work but this did. It's high protein and you can eat anything you want really. It's hard to wrap your head around it at first but once you get into the swing of it, it's easy. I am never hungry anymore!!

Can you tell us the sort of meals you’re eating please @Cazzovuoi?

I’m an Apple. I do intermittent fasting and I try to choose lower carb options. Half way through my first 48hr fast! I’ve done IF for some time and it really reduces carb cravings.

You may be insulin resistant as being an Apple can be a sign of it. All our weight goes to our bellies, armpits, neck and chest. I hate it because it is so unsightly. I’d happily carry extra weight if it went on my bum or hips but no it doesn’t! So I have to accept my body simply cannot tolerate a high carb diet

Being an apple is depressing. The only time I actually lost weight was with Atkins. I tried keto and it didn’t work.
I tried the fast 800 didn’t work
Tried eating only 1500 calories didn’t work.

But I started following someone on insta and it’s aimed at older people, don’t know if that’s you but it’s all about strength training and high protein. I’m going to start that

Thanks for all the comments. V interested to read about carbs / protein stuff. I am sure I ate too much before this diet. I bloody love carbs 😋 😪 I did try and give up gluten between having babies and it made a big difference to bloating but then I thought maybe it was psychosomatic or in my head - exH very critical of what he called 'fad diets'.

@Siameasy

I’m an Apple. I do intermittent fasting and I try to choose lower carb options. Half way through my first 48hr fast! I’ve done IF for some time and it really reduces carb cravings.

You may be insulin resistant as being an Apple can be a sign of it. All our weight goes to our bellies, armpits, neck and chest. I hate it because it is so unsightly. I’d happily carry extra weight if it went on my bum or hips but no it doesn’t! So I have to accept my body simply cannot tolerate a high carb diet

No extra weight on my chest sadly, I would quite like a bit more boobage but OMG my armpits and neck are awful. I am so self conscious about my neck but didn't know it was A Thing What is insulin resistant? Thanks x

I used to get asked all the time when my baby was due, but I wasn't.
Top tips:

1. Don't slouch
2. Always wear a good bra
3. Use a smaller plate.
4. Walk lots

I've managed to lose a stone and a half since March doing the above, mostly off my stomach and thighs.

I'm in a similar position to you. I had 5 stone to lose and I've lost 2 so far. I'm only 5ft 2 so I do need to keep to around 1200 average a day. I think you need to be realistic about what you can achieve. 1 stone in a month is actually much more than you are likely to lose in coming months. It's a very large loss and often you'll see that at the beginning. You need to reach a calorie number that you can stick to long term and expect to be where you want to be in 10 months not by Christmas!

Losing a stone is amazing but I'm not sure if 900 calories a day is a sustainable long-term way to maintain weight loss.
I'm an apple shape, take anti-depressants and have had several 'pregnancy' comments since we came out of the last lockdown.
I've struggled to lose weight but have been low carbing, walking as much as I can, doing a bit of Hiit, using my fitness pal and the belly flab is coming down. I do treat myself occasionally too.
I've read some great tips on the style and beauty board about dressing for my shape too and when I feel great, I feel slimmer and feel less likely to reach for the cake.

I also use my fitness pal. I have used it on and off over the years but at the moment I am on day 86 of entering everything daily. I stick to under 1500 a day. I have lost almost 2 stones. It really helps when you have it on your screen how much everything contains.