Congratulated on pregnancy when actually am just fat 😞AIBU to ask for help shifting this weight off my belly?!

[Sparetyres]

I am significantly overweight partly due to going through a horrible break up which has made me binge eat and partly because the antidepressants I am on increase your appetite and cause weight gain. I think I am about 4 or 5 stone overweight. I have been doing 900 kcal a day for about a month and have lost a stone. But then a few days ago a mum who lives near me said "omg I didn't realise! Congratulations!" as she thought I was pregnant I don't know who was more embarrassed, it was awful. I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. The thing is though, that I do look pregnant. Especially after eating or if I am PMSing. I can see how she thought I was pregnant. All the women in my family are "apples" - cousins and aunts have also had encounters like this. Is there any way to get rid of it?? I don't know if my belly will be the last thing to go when I diet or if I should get surgery or something? I haven't been slim since the birth of my second child, who was an enormous baby (not a caesarean though so don't have scar - I was a caesarean and my mum has had an overhang ever since because of how they sewed her up after the emergency CS.) Also concerned about carrying weight around your tummy being worse than carrying it on your bum in terms of heart disease etc. Thanks!!

When I say chest I don’t mean boobs I mean rib cage and upper chest and back fat so when I have been overweight I have ended up with an impractical bra size like 38A

www.diabetes.co.uk/insulin-resistance.html

I recommend reading “Why we get fat” by Gary Taubes and “The obesity code” by Dr Jason Fung. Both these writers have You Tube videos and explain how unwanted weight gain is mostly about hormones.

@Siameasy

When I say chest I don’t mean boobs I mean rib cage and upper chest and back fat so when I have been overweight I have ended up with an impractical bra size like 38A

www.diabetes.co.uk/insulin-resistance.html

I recommend reading “Why we get fat” by Gary Taubes and “The obesity code” by Dr Jason Fung. Both these writers have You Tube videos and explain how unwanted weight gain is mostly about hormones.

Oh thank you so much I will check those out. Ahh I see what you mean - yeah my ribs are virtually impossible to feel let alone see. I am terrified of getting diabetes. That was one of the reasons I started my diet on such a low amount of calories, I read about some people who were on the cusp of getting diabetes (or whatever the medical term is) and they all had to do shakes for a month and then kind of reversed the diabetes. Though I am not doing shakes and am not medically supervised.

To the op who asked about the ADs, I am not sure if they work or not? It is mirtazipine

Im not sure of your age but I’m in some intermittent fasting (IF) groups on FB - the ones I go for are for women 40+ but there may be others. People have reversed T2 diabetes with IF as well as lost weight. And it is far less soul destroying than extreme dieting.

You can start off slow with intermittent fasting - I started with an eating window of 8hrs and fasting for 16. That means eg I only eat between 12 and 8. So just skipping breakfast really. Now I’ve done it a while my body is used to it and I can go longer. I personally gave up added sugars and artificial sweeteners and only drink water and tea. I find sugar creates cravings and sweeteners also have the same effect.

Thank you I will try IF groups for older people. I did join some but they were full of young muscly types, not like me at all so an age-specific group would be ideal. Do you really not feel hungry on a fast!?

Not really. A lot of it is psychological. I felt more hungry (I call it “interested”) in the 1st 24hrs than on day two. A lot of the times it’s smells, visuals, routine and boredom that leads to a desire for food.
There’s a FB group intermittent fasting for women over 40. It’s huge with lots of resources.

So sorry that happened to you. Nutracheck App is very good (they do the NHS calorie counter) It has different settings if you prefer to try different approaches eg high general healthy balance/high protein/fasting etc Lost baby weight on that very successfully and it has a very supportive forum.

It's great that you're trying to lose weight, but as everyone else has said, 900 calories is too low.

In the short term, could the pregnancy thing be because of what you're wearing? I wonder if maybe your clothes could be making you look pregnant?

I joined WW at the end of Feb this year. Was 14st and size 20. Am now 10.5st and a loose size 14 on bottoms. It's been steady and sustainable. I'm on their 'purple' plan where almost all fruit/veg, eggs, fish, chicken, wholeweat pasta/rice are zero points, which means you can eat as much of those as you like. It means you don't go hungry as you can always fill up on those foods. It was a bit of a shock to the system cutting the bread and the cheese right down, but I still eat those, just a lot less than I used to. I also upped my activity levels and I think that helped a lot too. I started off with you tube videos (incluing chair yoga/chair cardio as an injury means I can't always walk unaided). Whatever method you try, I hope you find something that works for you.

I had a women rub my belly and ask me when I was due 🙈 Nearly told her to fuck off.

But it did give me the kick up the bum i needed to finally do something about my weight. I log everything on my fitness pal and never go over 1200 cals a day. And it's really worked for me. I find doing th 16/8 really helps with preventing belly bloat too.

1 stone in a month is alot to lose and you really need to adjust your expectations or your going to get demotivated when you eventually go down to losing 1-2lbs a week. And you WILL eventually only lose 1-2lbs and week. This is a normal, safe and healthy amount of weight to lose so don't be disheartened.

DH was 20 stone last year and decided to do something about it. He's now 10 stone and looking great! I have lost a stone recently and am hoping to do more - only I'm a bit lazier than he is!

His top tips:
Lose weight slowly.
Walk every day and go to the gym three times a week
Go to bed by 10 every night and get up at 6 (this one worked the best, he stalled and then started going to bed early and the weight started coming off again)
Don't go below the recommended calorie intake, I think it's 1400 for women. If you're short then make up the remainder with nuts or fruit.
Make your own food, low cal versions of curry, chilli and chinese takeaways are really nice!
Don't skip breakfast.
Eatlean cheese is a good substitute for cheddar.

@couchparsnip - that is really interesting about going to bed early - I am a night owl and it is at night that I get the munchies really badly.

This happened to me in the dentist a few years back: ‘Oh you obviously don’t need to pay today, how far along are you?’ I wanted the ground to swallow me up! Also happened on a bus in Washington DC when a man gave up his seat for me! I was too embarrassed to say so I took the seat! Ironically I was thinner then than I am now but I carried my excess weight around my belly, it’s moved to my hips and bum as I’ve got older! You’re not alone OP!

Kettlebells!

15k steps a day

Lift heavy (for you) weights 3 x 30 min a week

Caloric defecit eg 1800 calories

Weigh and log your food

Choose high protein, low sugar, high fibre options

And no alcohol

I do have a lot of sugar, as a proportion of my diet. I don't get along with artificial sweeteners at all. Maybe it is the sugar that is causing it. I can see I have lost weight around my face (a bit) but my belly really does just look rounded enough to be a pregnancy. I don't drink, unfortunately, as I sometimes think if I did then if I gave that up I would lose some weight 😅

@LittleGwyneth

It's great that you're trying to lose weight, but as everyone else has said, 900 calories is too low.

In the short term, could the pregnancy thing be because of what you're wearing? I wonder if maybe your clothes could be making you look pregnant?

I am quite hard up at the moment and haven't really bothered with my appearance beyond basic cleanliness since splitting up with exH. So my clothes aren't ideal. Hadnt actually thought of this. And i have been doing that thing where you don't buy in your size because it is "only temporary". Going to go and see what flatters an apple. Thanks 😊 xx

What flatters an Apple? I’m an expert . I’m slim and well within BMI but I’m still apple shaped and the sickening thing is even if I become ultra thin guess what, I then just look like a boy.

High waisted jeans! Worth spending a bit on. Sucks the stomach in. Jeans miles smarter than leggings
Apples normally have good legs and arms. I have nice ankles so I get them out a lot or choose leggings with designs around the ankles to draw attention there ditto wrists
I love an asymmetric oversized top-distracting
Basically draw attention to parts you like and AWAY from your waist. Drawing attention to the shoulders and making them appear bigger makes your waist look smaller
Anything that gives the illusion of bigger hips is good.

I've had this three times this year from pupils (I'm a teacher)

My friend got told she couldn't go on a ride at Disneyland because they don't allow pregnant women on. She wasn't pregnant and they didn't believe her!

@Siameasy

What flatters an Apple? I’m an expert . I’m slim and well within BMI but I’m still apple shaped and the sickening thing is even if I become ultra thin guess what, I then just look like a boy.

High waisted jeans! Worth spending a bit on. Sucks the stomach in. Jeans miles smarter than leggings
Apples normally have good legs and arms. I have nice ankles so I get them out a lot or choose leggings with designs around the ankles to draw attention there ditto wrists
I love an asymmetric oversized top-distracting
Basically draw attention to parts you like and AWAY from your waist. Drawing attention to the shoulders and making them appear bigger makes your waist look smaller
Anything that gives the illusion of bigger hips is good.

Thanks this is really helpful! I might get some jeans, I don't really wear them but my legs are still ok(ish). Is there any particular brand you would recommend? My only worry would be my "gunt" showing 😒

Just on the intermittent fasting, I've been doing that for a couple of months, not to lose weight, but for health reasons and after a couple of weeks it's just become a habit and I don't notice any hunger pangs. I only eat between 12pm and 8pm, so as PP just skip breakfast. I have lost weight, I didn't have much of a stomach, but it's flatter before and can see 6 pack now.

I'm doing it more as I believe it can fight illness, and from an anti ageing perspective so there are other benefits, if you're interested I got into it by listening to an Australian scientist based in Harvard who's specialises in anti aging - David A Sinclair.

This happened to me again on Sunday - it was a lovely mum in our building so I just sort of pretended I hadn’t heard and changed the subject (mortified). I do look at least 6m gone as I never put weight on my legs or face - it’s an actual round belly.

I’ve found the Chloe Ting and postpartum workouts helped in the past.

With MFP and apps, do you have to be ruthless ie brands, jams, cooking oil etc? Is it worth paying the premium for the full access?

900 cals is ridiculous. It will start to affect your MH making you feel sluggish, affect your sleep. You will lose muscle mass. It could lead to binge eating and other nasties.

To put it in perspective, 900 cals is literally the amount people starved on in prison camps. It's not being kind to yourself to eat this little on a regular basis and not the route to long term health.

If you're 4-5 stone over weight and you eat 2,000 cals and do any form of exercise that you enjoy, you will lose weight and more to the point feel amazingly healthy.

Try and make sure those 2000 cals are as natural as poss. For example, peas, potatoes and roast chicken are all as they are- chicken killed and cooked, veg pulled out the ground. Shop bought Pizza, whilst it will fit your calories, has been processed and faffed around with. If you aim for 80% natural foods you're onto a winner.

Thanks everyone. Maybe I will up the calories a bit. I just want to lose it fast so badly!! It seems like it sticks out more at the moment, because I have a teeny bit less fat elsewhere. I will check out Chloe Ting... I very scared to do any toning / exercise around my middle after a very traumatic birth.