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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this irritating?

60 replies

BlossomOnTrees · 29/09/2021 18:55

Was out for dinner last night with some colleagues. Didn't take the car as wanted a few drinks.
I was going to travel by bus. It was about 10PM and when my colleagues knew what I was doing, some pestered me over and over again so they could give me a lift home. I didn't want this as the bus comes regularly and I didn't want anyone going out of their way. They kept on and on until I felt I had to agree to it. I am in my fifties!
Aibu to say that this was irritating?

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 29/09/2021 19:00

God, the cheek of them to not want a woman travelling home alone at night Hmm

Original poster
BlossomOnTrees · 29/09/2021 19:04

I am a grown woman and I just felt like they should have respected my choice to travel home a short distance by my own methods.

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 29/09/2021 19:08

until I felt I had to agree to it

You really didn't have to agree to anything.

One of the benefits of adulting, is that you absolutely get to make these decisions yourself.

Really, how can they stop you

DressBitch · 29/09/2021 19:11

What monsters!

Ughmaybenot · 29/09/2021 19:14

Bastards!! How could they?

You’re being unreasonable. Given the dangers posed to women travelling alone, and at night, it was good of them to offer, and to not just do so superficially.

LukeEvansWife · 29/09/2021 19:14

Bastards! How dare they try to ensure you get home safely. Especially with so many high profile attacks on women.

Grown woman who can't refuse a lift? Confused

Sez93 · 29/09/2021 19:14

You're being unreasonable, you're lucky to have such caring colleagues. The world isn't a nice place!

tiredohsotired1 · 29/09/2021 19:15

God they sound like such assholes! Not wanting you to get a bus late at night!

Waspsarearseholes · 29/09/2021 19:16

"AIBU to be pissed off that my friends care enough about me to want to drive me home after having a few drinks?"
Yes. Yes, you are.

lanbro · 29/09/2021 19:18

I would be the colleague insisting on giving you a lift so YABU

Welshmaenad · 29/09/2021 19:19

Are women in their fifties impervious to attack and sexual assault? Cool to know I've only get ten years before I can opt out of sex based violence and oppression.

Yes, YABU. They wanted you to be safe.

ShuddaBeenMe · 29/09/2021 19:20

Oh they must really hate you Grin

Original poster
BlossomOnTrees · 29/09/2021 19:21

Hmm It's not that I feel it was wrong of them to ask but to keep on at me in s relentless way, to the point where I felt I had to agree was irritating.

OP posts:
Macncheeseballs · 29/09/2021 19:22

Yeah I agree very annoying, we should all have the right not to live our lives in constant fear and I would not have given in.

poullou · 29/09/2021 19:22

I don't think you're unreasonable OP and I don't know why you're getting a hard time on here. You are an adult, they should have respected your decision.

LukeEvansWife · 29/09/2021 19:23

The two very high profile murders of women have made everyone think. They aren't doing it to be cunts, perhaps they just want to make sure you are safe.

It's churlish to complain about it.

Wazzzzzzzup · 29/09/2021 19:23

Yeah.
They were ok to ask and insist a bit, but then they should back off and respect your decision.
Nice gesture, got out of hand

Umbra · 29/09/2021 19:23

YANBU. Irritating twats.

Saz12 · 29/09/2021 19:23

Actually.... I think as and adult, who decided whilst sober to get the bus home, that’s your choice.
Your colleague was nice to offer you a lift, then be insistent that they absolutely wanted to give you a lift. But should’ve accepted that you equally didn’t want a lift at all, even if they didn’t understand.

Thatsplentyjack · 29/09/2021 19:25

Why were you so determined to get the bus?

Macncheeseballs · 29/09/2021 19:26

I like buses

Seeingadistance · 29/09/2021 19:26

YANBU. This would piss me off too.

I'm also in my 50s and recently returned from a holiday abroad, on my own, which involved not only bus travel but planes and ferries too!

Original poster
BlossomOnTrees · 29/09/2021 19:27

The bus is convenient, was arriving in minutes and dropped me off right by my home as well as ensuring nobody else had to go out of their way. It's my decision which I shouldn't have to explain.
I know there have been 2 high profile murders but as another poster said, I refuse to live in fear and am very independent.

OP posts:
ButterflyAway · 29/09/2021 19:27

Bloody hell someone cared about you and your safety enough to want to make sure you got home ok and you found it irritating…?

Orgasmagorical · 29/09/2021 19:28

Did you tell them you felt they were going over the top, OP?