To talk out loud to inaminate things that can't answer back

[itsnotmeitsu]

Eg, I said to a bramble bush, 'Stop doing that, you prickly bastard.' Also, when I was doing a wordcode puzzle, I said to the 'E', 'Stop doing that, you're supposed to be on my side.'

I talk to everything

I natter on to inanimate objects all the time. Either encouragement or swearing admonishment. They don't seem to mind

I think most people do that, I know I do 😂

I do this all the time. I talk to my car, my laptop and chairs. I even say 'good morning' to my empty workplace when I'm first in.

If I drop something, I tell it to fuck off.

What, like the DH? God yeah, all the time...

Anything that falls out of my hands gets a swift 'oh fuck off'

You might enjoy Shirley Valentine

Often tell the washing machine off for beeping at me

@HatsOnHatsOff

I natter on to inanimate objects all the time. Either encouragement or swearing admonishment. They don't seem to mind

They don't seem to mind 😂

Yes I talk to things all the time. This morning I told my bed that I couldn't wait to see it again.
I also talk to Henry but he has a face.
I encourage my car when I feel he's struggling.
I also swear at things a lot.

I always shout 'Yes I hear you, I'm coming' when the microwave pings.

I tut at door frames that I walk into.

I have 'conversations' with Alexa
she doesn't quite pass the Turing test.
She kept getting something wrong the other day & I told her to F Off.
fely v quilty & apologised about 5 minutes later.

I talk to my plants. They get encouragement and sometimes threats.

My washer is getting old and although it still works fine some days it does its I am finished beep while it is still washing , I have been known to call it a lying swine a few times.

All the time. Especially the sat nav

@FlamingGoat > always shout 'Yes I hear you, I'm coming' when the microwave pings'
I do that when it pings a second time, ie 'I know, I'm on my way'.

I do this all the time! Started my car installed it and said don't you fucking dare and it didn't dare! It worked perfectly well when I started it again.

Sorry, stalled it.

I regularly tell those self serve tills in the supermarket to "shut up and stop being impatient!"

@DukeOfEarlGrey I can on to say exactly the same 😂

"Work, please! Just do your job. There! That wasn't hard, was it?" is my usual refrain towards disobedient appliances in this home.

I always apologise to inanimate objects or berate them. I said sorry to a tree today on a dog walk as I walked into a branch. On the flip side I called a joint of beef a "stubborn bastard"
As it wouldn't cook right 🤣

I say “cowbag” if I accidentally kick a piece of furniture or bang my arm on something.

I often say 'thank you' to the cashpoint