To talk out loud to inaminate things that can't answer back

[itsnotmeitsu]

Eg, I said to a bramble bush, 'Stop doing that, you prickly bastard.' Also, when I was doing a wordcode puzzle, I said to the 'E', 'Stop doing that, you're supposed to be on my side.'

Does anyone make the objects talk back though?

There's where I think I may be going senile.

Well, the satnav talks back. Fair enough, it's only something like ' take your next left ' but it's an answer 😂

I talk to everything! My DP has said that overhearing me chatting to the toilet has confirmed his suspicions that I'm as batty as a fruit cake

ViciousJackdaw

Me too and apologise to the dishwasher if I open it mid-cycle to get something out.

I also thank my sat-nav for every instruction.

All the time. I shan’t worry until they reply!

All the time. Especially inanimate objects that hurt me (I'm very clumsy...it may not be their fault!). Also chat to the cat.

I'm always telling things that fall over or I drop to "Fuck off!"
I talk to Henry all the time, usually telling him off because he doesn't so corners very well or decides to have a lie down on his side.
I'm always grumbling at the coffee machine at work. Demanding bastard is always too empty or two full or something.

I wondered (aloud, obviously) just yesterday if it was normal to tell an inanimate object dropped on the floor to "fuck off". It's my 'go-to' reaction when I drip anything.

Drop. Not drip.

Of course you did is my standard turn phrase to every inanimate object that fucks me off

I do that, including the atm and self service tills. They never reply though!

Yep. I have more chance of the inanimate object listening to me than my children do.

Well who else would I talk at? Alone out on a small island with seven cats... I talk to them all the time.. Yell STOP when the bedclothes slide off and DON't YOU DARE..to any mutinous item. Tell the garden how well it is doing... tell the mountains how utterly majestically lovely they are ...

That sounds utterly blissful.

Banged my hip on the side the other day and told it to shut up and fuck off and die