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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

38weeks pregnant and he's just said this !

53 replies

holdmeinyourarms · 02/09/2021 19:55

" your body will go back to normal after won't it "
I feel really frustrated I'm carrying on the big side I was tiny before but I do love my huge bump but noW im thinking he won't like me after If I don't lose the baby weight, im 38 weeks and this has really upset me Aibu to be annoyed ?

OP posts:
ThisBeTheName · 02/09/2021 19:59

What he said was crass, but everything will be upsetting you at this point.

Babyiskickingmyribs · 02/09/2021 20:01

Tell him having a baby obviously changes your body because you’ll get really nice toned arms from carrying the baby around so much.

Dizzy1234 · 02/09/2021 20:03

I take it he's a perfectly honed adonis?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 02/09/2021 20:03

Well it shows that he is stupid and insensitive. So no you're not being unreasonable to be upset

TDMN · 02/09/2021 20:03

Dont quite know how to put this but is he not very... bright? Of course its not going to go back exactly to how it was before, thats part of having a baby???

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 02/09/2021 20:03

Well it probably won't! Even women who return to flat stomachs usually have stretch marks and loose skin and most women end up fatter and/or wider.

Craftycorvid · 02/09/2021 20:06

Let’s see. You’re doing something incredible and life-changing in every way. No, I doubt anything, including your body, will ever be quite the same again, but that’s the nature of life. Men are such simple creatures. 🙄

Choconuttolata · 02/09/2021 20:07

The answer to that is no it will change, but then so has my opinion of you. Arsehole.

WhyOhWhyOhWhyyyy · 02/09/2021 20:07

What a horrible insensitive thing to say. I’m also heavily pregnant and would want to punch my DH if he said that.

annacondom · 02/09/2021 20:09

It's just an ignorant comment, as in he was wondering, and didn't know. It's exactly what a young woman at work said to me. DH, OTOH, when I found out I was pg, said "You won't have to wear those big dresses, will you?" Me: "Of course not! Everything will still fit me!"
Don't worry about it. I'm sure it wasn't deliberately insensitive.

FTEngineerM · 02/09/2021 20:11

Just tell him no, your vagina will permanently be baby sized.

Climb in.

Motherofcats007 · 02/09/2021 20:12

You made a baby and had it inside you for 9 months, so no it won’t be the same again because YOU MADE A BABY!! so go you!! He is just being insensitive and failing to appreciate that you’re making him a baby!!

LBirch02 · 02/09/2021 20:13

YANBU. I’d hate it if my boyfriend said this

MrsPsmalls · 02/09/2021 20:14

Dont quite know how to put this but is he not very... bright? Of course its not going to go back exactly to how it was before, thats part of having a baby???
This! Is he a bit dumb or did he just say it to wind you up?

amter · 02/09/2021 20:27

I'm sorry OP, what a prick. I hope he was having a moment of insanity because that is such an insensitive and ridiculous comment to make when you are growing his child. Your body is amazing full stop!

Lollypop701 · 02/09/2021 20:28

I had a similar comment and no my body didn’t go back to ‘normal’. it did however become a new normal. Youngest 15 still married and it’s a standing joke. He acknowledges it was a knobhead comment. Tbf I put on 4stone a lot of which was water retention so I looked very different , my fingers and toes looked like sausages. Tbf I was thinking the same thing

strugglingwithlife · 02/09/2021 20:30

YANBU. Twat

ErrolTheDragon · 02/09/2021 20:34

YANBU. It was an insensitive and idiotic thing to say.
You'll be whatever turns out to be normal for you after having a baby.

(My 'new normal' had D instead of B bra size, DH wasn't complaining)

Holskey · 02/09/2021 20:37

He shouldn't have said that.probably wo during out loud. Very stupid and insensitive. Bear in mind (even if he didn't) it's probably more upsetting to you at 38 weeks pregnant than it will be later. Also, most the men I know developed a whole new respect for womanhood after seeing childbirth, so hopefully he'll mature a little and get some perspective!

Holskey · 02/09/2021 20:37

*probably thinking out loud

LBirch02 · 02/09/2021 20:40

I think as a previous poster has said, he’ll gain a whole new perspective after you give birth

B1rthis · 02/09/2021 20:56

Dead man walking it's lucky you can't run fast at 38 weeks. Wonder if you can waddle and squish him like a bug?

tickledtiger · 02/09/2021 21:56

Is he dopey?

wobblywinelover · 02/09/2021 21:59

@FTEngineerM

Just tell him no, your vagina will permanently be baby sized.

Climb in.

Love it!
RoseAndGeranium · 02/09/2021 22:09

Ugh, men are often incredibly mentally lazy about pregnancy. He has presumably seen plenty of mothers in his life. He has therefore surely also noticed that some of them look pretty much as they did pre-baby, others carry a bit more weight, and some have stretch marks. I know a few who lost a bunch of weight breast feeding, never put it back on because they were rushed off their feet with the kids, and are therefore much slimmer now. It varies. A lot. But no one walks around with a pregnant belly forever! So what the very fuck is he even asking?
Reminds me of a male friend who once wondered aloud to me if women could ever have sex again after giving birth. Completely serious. Where does he think younger siblings come from?

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