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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - I'm shocked my midwife just told me she's unvaccinated

100 replies

happyrainbow84 · 04/08/2021 17:10

I live in Germany and am 26 weeks pregnant and not vaccinated yet. Im currently struggling between the uk covid vaccine guidance - yes you should - and the German guidance - sitting on the fence. I previously lost a baby at 19 weeks so am super anxious generally. I called my german midwife to ask her opinion today - she was more negative than positive about the vaccine but then said that she hasn't been vaccinated and that she's waiting until later to see what happens! I was so shocked and wonder if she is telling the pregnant women she is looking after? I was supposed to have an appt with her last week and she didn't mention it to me (luckily I cancelled for an unrelated reason) the system here is different and she only sees them before and after birth (unless its a home birth), so she's not attached to a hospital. AIBU to be shocked and not want to see her anymore? It makes me wonder if my other medical professionals are vaccinated or not?

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · 04/08/2021 17:14

Well seen as how it doesn’t stop you catching it or passing it your point is?
Do you feel like this about any other illnesses that are contagious? Check for flu vaccine?
If you want to change midwives, up to you

worriedatthemoment · 04/08/2021 17:18

@millymollymoomoo no it doesn't stop but it helps reduce the chance and its not the flu is it ?
Op can you speak to your dr or someone else for advice , would you be more comfortable with a midwife who is vaccinated ? Assuming you can even ask that infi

M4J4 · 04/08/2021 17:21

But you're not vaccinated either so aren't you putting her at risk too?

BenjiMcSchmenzie · 04/08/2021 17:22

You are understandably anxious about this, given that you're pregnant and given your previous loss but your midwife's vaccination status really isn't any of your business. You're just as much of a risk to her as she is to you if you're both unvaccinated. From what you've said it also sounds as though, culturally, Germany is more libertarian about the vaccine than the UK, so her point of view is understandable in that context.

CrocodilesCry · 04/08/2021 17:23

It’s somewhat hypocritical of you - being unvaccinated yourself.

knittingaddict · 04/08/2021 17:27

@millymollymoomoo

Well seen as how it doesn’t stop you catching it or passing it your point is? Do you feel like this about any other illnesses that are contagious? Check for flu vaccine? If you want to change midwives, up to you

Well that's not true, is it?

It doesn't prevent 100% of transmission, but stops some and much less chance of a vaccinated person passing it on. Viral load is usually less too.

Monkeymilkshake · 04/08/2021 17:30

Maybe you should ask for your post to be moved to pregnancy board. I think you’ll mostly get a pro/anti vax discussion here.

If you’re unconfortable with your midwife for whatever reason then you should ask for a different midwife.
Good luck with your pregnancy.

SnoozyBoozy · 04/08/2021 17:31

@CrocodilesCry

It’s somewhat hypocritical of you - being unvaccinated yourself.

But it's a very different scenario isn't it? A pregnant woman who has had a late miscarriage is understandably anxious about getting it, and a midwife who is "waiting to see what happens" and apparently doesn't have a better reason as to why she's not vaccinated.

Would you feel the same about a cancer nurse being unvaccinated and not telling her very vulnerable patients who can't be vaccinated?

OP, you are not BU. I would respect her right to choose, but I would want to be informed that that was her choice if this is someone who was going to be up close and personal with me throughout my pregnancy.

And to the poster who said it doesn't stop you catching it or passing it one, in some cases that is true, but for the majority it does, and for those it doesn't, it does reduce the severity and the likelihood of needing hospitalisation.

Sugarandtime · 04/08/2021 17:32

I don’t see how she is any more a threat to you as you are to her.
The few people that I know who have had a positive test result and all had 2 injections seemed to pass to on to each other pretty easily.

CharlotteRose90 · 04/08/2021 17:35

You are just as much a risk to her as she is to you. Not everyone will be vaccinated and their choices will be respected.

Conchitastrawberry · 04/08/2021 17:37

If you want to change, change. There will be plenty of `hCP’s that aren’t vaccinated, some will tell you, some won’t.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/08/2021 17:37

It’s not that surprising, I worked with a district nurse who’d never had a flu jab despite merrily going into nursing homes like Typhoid Mary.

Anti vax childhoods are hard to overcome for some people.

XenoBitch · 04/08/2021 17:51

YABU - you are unvaccinated yourself. You are only a risk if either of you actually have Covid anyway. She could be TTC or early stages of pregnancy herself so not vaccinated. It isn't your business anyway. Would you have had an issue with this if she was seeing you before vaccines were available?

ohthestruggles · 04/08/2021 17:55

It’s not that surprising, I worked with a district nurse who’d never had a flu jab despite merrily going into nursing homes like Typhoid Mary.

Oh please, health care professionals are humans and have choices too. Ffs. I'm one, personally I take my flu jab but it is not mandatory.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/08/2021 18:20

And the Hep B we all had to have before our course started? We don’t have choices.

lljkk · 04/08/2021 18:26

it's almost like health professionals have bodily autonomy. Not for long, don't worry, they'll be told it's not allowed to have in their profession after all, too.

So make sure you don't become a midwife, OP. That's what you have learnt.

bakebeans · 04/08/2021 22:22

It’s her choice. It can still be caught and passed on by people who have been vaccinated. They just don’t die from it

bakebeans · 04/08/2021 22:25

@lljkk I doubt that will be the case. They can get staff to work for triple rate it’s that bad at the moment. Imagine the amount that will be leaving the NHS.

It doesn’t stop you infecting someone and doesn’t stop you getting it. It stops you dying from it. Have a read around

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 04/08/2021 22:29

She’s 1 individual a of billions of world population, do your own research and do what you think is best.

moaningmyrtleturtle · 04/08/2021 22:29

What do you do as a job OP? Maybe she also lost a baby at 19weeks (but she doesn't have to divulge that information)

Cillmantain · 04/08/2021 22:31

A bit hypocritical seeing you are not vaccinated either !

Frazzled2207 · 04/08/2021 22:35

You’ve probably seen it but there’s been lots in the media here about pushing pregnant people to get vaccinated.
Because a lot of pregnant women have ended up in hospital with covid and many had their babies prematurely. BUT I think covid is much more prevalent in the uk than Germany at the moment so the balance of for vs against will be different in both countries.
I would be disappointed if a hcp was not vaccinated but obviously it’s personal choice. Generally speaking she will be putting herself at far more risk than you will be.
Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly

Babdoc · 04/08/2021 23:10

OP, never mind the midwife, get yourself vaccinated as fast as possible, so you have time for the second dose 8 weeks later.
Catching Covid in late pregnancy is very dangerous - your lung bases are already compressed by the pressure from the expanding uterus pushing upwards on your abdominal contents, and you risk being hospitalised with Covid pneumonia and/or going into premature labour. The baby can also be infected.
Here in the UK we are advising all pregnant women to get vaccinated.

mog27 · 04/08/2021 23:12

Do you really think any medical staff are going to go around shouting about not getting the vaccine? I know plenty that haven't had it and won't even admit to family members that they haven't received it because of the backlash.

Vanilla1Cookies · 04/08/2021 23:18

Well considering you’re not vaccinated either then it’s a bit of a cheek to moan she’s not. You are putting her at risk too.

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