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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - I'm shocked my midwife just told me she's unvaccinated

100 replies

happyrainbow84 · 04/08/2021 17:10

I live in Germany and am 26 weeks pregnant and not vaccinated yet. Im currently struggling between the uk covid vaccine guidance - yes you should - and the German guidance - sitting on the fence. I previously lost a baby at 19 weeks so am super anxious generally. I called my german midwife to ask her opinion today - she was more negative than positive about the vaccine but then said that she hasn't been vaccinated and that she's waiting until later to see what happens! I was so shocked and wonder if she is telling the pregnant women she is looking after? I was supposed to have an appt with her last week and she didn't mention it to me (luckily I cancelled for an unrelated reason) the system here is different and she only sees them before and after birth (unless its a home birth), so she's not attached to a hospital. AIBU to be shocked and not want to see her anymore? It makes me wonder if my other medical professionals are vaccinated or not?

OP posts:
leafygarden42 · 05/08/2021 06:48

@Babdoc

Precisely that

tttigress · 05/08/2021 06:50

I know someone who is a nurse, who is pretty skeptical about the vaccine, even though she has had it. She thinks there are a lot of extreme reactions, that are outside what you would expect for normal vaccines, such as not being able to do anything for 5 days, apparently she has colleagues that are of similar opinions.

RedHelenB · 05/08/2021 06:51

Yabu. Presumably she's wearing PPE when she sees you?

SaltySheepdog · 05/08/2021 06:51

It’s non of your business if she’s vaccinated or not. As long as you are, that’s what counts.

EdgeOfACoin · 05/08/2021 06:52

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

@ aurynne

Pregnant people? You mean women and Transmen. I lose any respect for anyone referring to pregnant people and view it as offensive and denigrating to women.

Just 'pregnant women' will do. It includes pregnant ftm transitioners. A woman is simply an adult human female, nothing else.

And yes, OP, the official guidance is very much in favour of pregnant women getting the vaccine. In the US the Pfizer and Moderna jabs have been given to pregnant women since the beginning. In some states pregnant women have been prioritised as a vulnerable group.

There has been mixed messaging in the past, but that was mainly due to an over-cautious approach rather than because there were plausible reasons why the vaccine would be dangerous for pregnant women or their babies.

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 05/08/2021 06:55

What’s the nurse waiting to see? The vaccinated turning into the zombies from 28 Days Later? The vaccinated all dying of cancer? She’ll be waiting a long time and will more likely have caught Covid.

EdgeOfACoin · 05/08/2021 06:56

@tttigress

I know someone who is a nurse, who is pretty skeptical about the vaccine, even though she has had it. She thinks there are a lot of extreme reactions, that are outside what you would expect for normal vaccines, such as not being able to do anything for 5 days, apparently she has colleagues that are of similar opinions.
I've just had a whooping cough vaccine. So far I have experienced worse side effects with that than with the covid vaccine.

I expect if millions of people had a whooping cough jab at the same time and compared experiences, you would end up with similar stories.

CoteDAzur · 05/08/2021 06:57

"It [vaccune] doesn't reduce the chance, it may reduce your symptoms thats it. You still have just as much chance of catching it"

Nonsense.

Eastie77Returns · 05/08/2021 06:58

I think there are more medical professionals who do not toe the party line regarding vaccinations than we realise. My GP gave me the standard lecture about the importance of childhood vaccines when DD was a baby and I was a bit hesitant. However she then went on to reveal her own small children didn’t have the BCG vaccine (we live in an area where TB is prevalent) and commented that her DH had measles when he was a child and was fine “most kids who get it in this country are”. I left the surgery more confused than when I went inConfused

DiscoDown21 · 05/08/2021 07:05

What can’t I do after the vaccine for 5 days?? Did I miss the memo? Apart from
Being a bit achy for a day with a headache I was fine. Had worse reactions to the flu jab tbh. Also it does offer protection and does slow transmission: some won’t pass it on some will. Saying it blanket doesn’t stop you catching it or passing it on is very wrong. Our cases would be much higher if this was the case.

Op as you can tell it’s a divisive topic and only you can make your decisions. Use and read some of the links given. Actual real life data not just anecdotal. There does seem to be an increasing amount of evidence pro vaccine in pregnancy.

Suzi888 · 05/08/2021 07:09

@CallItLoneliness

To all the people bitching that the OP is being hypocritical: she is 26 weeks pregnant, meaning she has likely not had a chance to get vaccinated before she was pregnant. The advice around pregnancy is mixed and conflicted. The midwife is presumably not pregnant, and putting the OP at greater risk with her choices. It's a false equivalence.
^ this, apart from the second paragraph.

I don’t think people understood the OP question, before jumping on the OMG you aren’t vaccinated you are going to DIE and KILL others wagon.

PieceOfString · 05/08/2021 07:14

I know two people with auto immune disorders which have reacted badly to the vaccine, there are genuine reasons why a person may have concerns or whose balance of risk means that remaining unvaccinated is a sensible choice (I'm double vaccinated my dh is not).
I think we need to stop making social pariahs out of unvaccinated people, because those people who are not taking it because they feel it's all a con or whatever are only going to get worse the more they feel railroaded and those for whom it's sa sensible choice to not take it still need to be able to have choice without being branded an outcast.
This whole atmosphere of othering people out of fear for an illness that while is a big that to a population (millions of people catching it all at once makes the small percentage of seriously ill overgrown the hospital's) is actually on an individual level still a small threat (any one individual is most likely to be ill and get better as with most illnesses).

firsttimemummy321 · 05/08/2021 07:22

Just putting this there for all those saying it doesn't reduce passing it on 🙄

www.bmj.com/content/373/bmj.n1112

getsomehelp · 05/08/2021 07:23

Something like half the medical corps in France aren't vaccinated ! (they are bing threatened with unpaid furlough if they don't bend to the wishes of the State

Brefugee · 05/08/2021 07:31

Oh please, health care professionals are humans and have choices too. Ffs. I'm one, personally I take my flu jab but it is not mandatory.

I believe in choice. I believe that the "professional" part of HCP should really mean they don't walz about going into the homes of vulnerable elderly people and potentially affecting them. Get a different job, in that case.

OP - you can ask if you can be seen by vaccinated people only but you won't get any answers because of data protection. You could ask if they are testing regularly, and if it would be possible to be only in the presence of those with a recent test? Are they wearing masks (I'm guessing yes because they're still mandatory here.)

merrymouse · 05/08/2021 07:35

@CharlotteRose90

You are just as much a risk to her as she is to you. Not everyone will be vaccinated and their choices will be respected.
Not true, unless she has some kind of underlying health condition. pregnant women are at higher risk if they get Covid.
CaptSkippy · 05/08/2021 07:44

I am in different EU country. Recent studies done here say the vaccine is safe for pregnant women. They found that pregnant women were not more likely to get COVID than women who are not pregnant. However, pregnant women who do get COVID are more likely to develop complications from it.
I think you're safest bet is to get the vaccine.

IrisAtwood · 05/08/2021 07:45

@CrocodilesCry

It’s somewhat hypocritical of you - being unvaccinated yourself.
The OP isn’t a midwife visiting lots of different women and families and getting physically very close to them!
merrymouse · 05/08/2021 07:48

@Birminghambloke

Being vaccinated does not stop you getting COVID or passing it on. If you’re conflicted as to whether to have it, then accept she is too. Her choice does not put you at risk, it puts her at risk of worse symptoms should she be infected from potential exposure.

Your own choice not to have the vaccine is what puts you at risk. Not her.

Being vaccinated greatly reduces the chances of catching Covid and passing it on and also greatly reduces the risk of being severely ill if you catch Covid.

As already posted, pregnant women are in a high risk group, so unless the midwife is also in a high risk group, the risks are not equal.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 05/08/2021 07:51

There are a good few in our hospital. I haven't got any time for them. They haven't made an informed decision based on the research.

BungleandGeorge · 05/08/2021 07:51

Personally I don’t think you can control what other people do with their bodies. You’ll be in contact with a huge number of people who don’t want a vaccine. Do HCP in Germany have to do regular covid tests? I presume they wear masks? If you are concerned maybe get yourself some medical masks to wear at appointments?

Happymum12345 · 05/08/2021 07:57

There was a dr on the news the other day talking about vaccines and pregnant mums. She was very understanding of the concerns that mums have but said at the end, would you rather have a vaccine to prevent you from dying or becoming very unwell or covid entering your body?

Nanny0gg · 05/08/2021 08:03

@millymollymoomoo

Well seen as how it doesn’t stop you catching it or passing it your point is? Do you feel like this about any other illnesses that are contagious? Check for flu vaccine? If you want to change midwives, up to you
Well, measles, mumps, rubella etc…
PinkiOcelot · 05/08/2021 08:04

So would it be ok for a vaccinated midwife to refuse to treat you because you’re not vaccinated?!

Nanny0gg · 05/08/2021 08:05

@M4J4

But you're not vaccinated either so aren't you putting her at risk too?
The midwife is not pregnant and is a medical professional.

Not following your argument

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