Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sending Mum's text messages

108 replies

chestnutflower · 30/07/2021 15:01

I know I need to teach my Mum to text but anyway

My Mum is in her late 50's and rubbish with technology, she can call people on her phone and send short text messages and look at her online banking and the weather forecast but that's about it.

I'm in my early 20's and still live at home with my parents so whenever my Mum wants to send more than a short text message she asks me to send it for her, so she'll tell me what to put and I'll send the text for her. I really need to teach her how to text don't I? I eventually at some point will want to move out from my parents and what will my Mum do then?

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 30/07/2021 15:04

Yep. You do. It is surprising how independent some of these older (though in her 50s isn't old!) Folks have learnt during lockdown as they've had to do if for themselves!

Feather12 · 30/07/2021 15:04

what will my mum do then? She will just get on and do it. The only reason she doesn’t now is because she can ask you. Sending a long text is no different to sending a short one. The letters are all in the same place. Just stop doing it for her.

NouvelleMamanNouvelleVie · 30/07/2021 15:05

What's your aibu?
Texting has been around for something like 25 years. Why do you need to text for her?

MrsN100 · 30/07/2021 15:07

She's just lazy. She is in her 50s! Absolutely no excuse as to why she can't, she just won't.

gamerchick · 30/07/2021 15:07

Tell her you'll watch her send the next one. She has to learn and if she can send a short one then it's not much different.

Cadent · 30/07/2021 15:07

YANBU, tell her to practice sending longer texts to you so she can get used to it.

JaneJeffer · 30/07/2021 15:07

She's just being lazy. Tell her to do it herself. My mother is in her eighties and is well able to use modern technology.

MaverickDanger · 30/07/2021 15:08

It seems really strange that she can send a short message but not just type more. Sounds like it’s more laziness than anything.

You can get quite simple phones still, DH’s gran has one and she learnt how to text in her early 80s.

SephrinaX · 30/07/2021 15:08

She's choosing not to learn how to do it. As long as you enable her by doing it for her she won't bother to learn. If you disappeared tomorrow I guarantee she'd learn pretty quickly.
Her age is not an excuse. 50s ain't that old!

Cadent · 30/07/2021 15:08

@NouvelleMamanNouvelleVie

What's your aibu? Texting has been around for something like 25 years. Why do you need to text for her?
Her AIBU is: I need to teach my mum to text, don't I?

And there are many reasons why some people aren't comfortable sending long tests *poor typing skills, spelling/grammar issues etc). No need to be sneery.

BlueSurfer · 30/07/2021 15:09

Can you talk into her phone for it to convert into a message?

2pinkginsplease · 30/07/2021 15:10

I've got my 72 year old mum texting, using whatsapp and using google maps for her walks, but that's as far as my patience can go!

Y mum hasnt got a clue with technology at all. I write it all down for her and tell her to practice sending me and the kids messages and we go from there.

Wantingtogetitright · 30/07/2021 15:11

This is ludicrous! Fair enough if she was 90. She’s AT IT!

Original poster
chestnutflower · 30/07/2021 15:11

By short text messages she can message ok or possibly a few words at most

OP posts:
Reallybadidea · 30/07/2021 15:13

Sending long text messages isn't really any more technically difficult to short messages, so presumably she finds the typing tricky? Maybe she would find sending voice notes via WhatsApp easier?

icedcoffees · 30/07/2021 15:13

She can do it, she just finds it easier (quicker) to get you to do it for her.

My dad was similar when I lived at home - not with texts but uploading photos to Facebook. Strangely enough, as soon as I moved out he seemed to magically get the hang of it within a day Grin

TakeYourFinalPosition · 30/07/2021 15:14

My MIL had never text before I gave her a phone last year… now she can text fine and even uses emojis and sends photos. And she’s a lot older than your mum.

She needs to practice. It’s better for her to learn it now than to feel she’s lost a way of communicating with people when you’re not around.

If she can write okay; she can write other things - she’s just not, presumably because you are faster and willing to help.

kin432 · 30/07/2021 15:15

My 80 year old mum finds sending WhatsApp messages easier than texting. Maybe worth trying as an alternative?

SillyLittleBiscuit · 30/07/2021 15:17

If she can send a short message she can send a long one. My dyslexic friend uses the dictate microphone button for long texts.

Covetthee · 30/07/2021 15:17

Surely checking online banking is harder than a message!?

What phone does she have?

If not an iphone or smart phone of some sort, can you get a second hand one, she can then dictate messages using voice or even send voice notes.

In this day and age, the basica of technology needs to be known imo, and 50 is very young to not know how to send a basic message

Original poster
chestnutflower · 30/07/2021 15:19

My Mum does use WhatsApp as well, she has an I phone 7 or 8

OP posts:
onetwothreeadventure · 30/07/2021 15:19

I don't live with my mum but she (in 70s) will ask me to send long texts for her if we're together - just because it would take her much longer and she'd have to get her glasses out etc! She can obviously do it herself but I don't mind helping her out. I'm sure it's something similar with your DM

YoComoManzanas · 30/07/2021 15:22

Yanbu but it's not your responsibility. She presumably has all her mental functions. She is just not doing it because you are there. Leave her to it and let her know you won't be able to do this for her when you move out. Don't let her hold you back from living your life. 50s is young still.
My mum tried to learn to drive in her early 20s and gave up after failing her test a few times. She had my dad drive her round for 25years until he sadly and unexpectly died just over 10years ago. 3years later she passed her test in an automatic and has been driving around ever since. Even travelling around the country and on motorways. She is late 60s now.

IonaLeg · 30/07/2021 15:24

She’s just being lazy. She’s in her fifties, hardly her dotage! My grandpa is nearly 90 and he has learned how to text. I’m assuming your mum doesn’t have a learning disability, of course, but there’s absolutely no reason why she can’t learn how to do it.

Steakandcheeseplease · 30/07/2021 15:26

she is just really lazy. late 50s in NOT old