Sending Mum's text messages

[chestnutflower]

I know I need to teach my Mum to text but anyway

My Mum is in her late 50's and rubbish with technology, she can call people on her phone and send short text messages and look at her online banking and the weather forecast but that's about it.

I'm in my early 20's and still live at home with my parents so whenever my Mum wants to send more than a short text message she asks me to send it for her, so she'll tell me what to put and I'll send the text for her. I really need to teach her how to text don't I? I eventually at some point will want to move out from my parents and what will my Mum do then?

Lol I'm 58 and text crazy. My partner and I text all the time as do the kids.

If she can use whatapp she can send a text? WTF?

And seriously she's not old. She's lazy.

That's insane. Text messages have been commonplace since 2000.... She would have only been early 30s when they became common.

She's just being lazy and using her "age" as an excuse.

If my 82 year old nana can WhatsApp, Facetime, Portal, Facebook Message and text...your mother can.

@cadent how is what I wrote sneery? I asked what the aibu was, and I asked why she needs to text for her mum. She can answer those questions herself, no need to be rude to me. If you take a look many other posters are calling her lazy. Are you going to have a go at them?

Fwiw your advice of telling her to practice [sic] longer texts is pretty dreadful advice. If she hasn't already tried that, there isn't much hope.

And the verb is "practise".

I eventually at some point will want to move out from my parents and what will my Mum do then?
Probably learn in about three seconds as that's how long it takes to learn how to text.

I'd be speeding my plans to move out if I were you.

But sending a long message isn’t any different to a short one!
It’ll just take her longer to type!
It sounds a bit like my Mum who insists that my dad has to check the pasta to see if it’s cooked she’s perfectly capable of this job but it’s just become routine!!

What is the difference between a long and a short text? If she can send a text of 3-6 words, why can she not send one of 50 words? There is no difference apart from length of time taken to compose? What would happen if you said no to sending a text for her? I don't really understand when you say you are going to have to teach her to text, she already knows how so what form is the teaching going to take?

OP, talking to the love of her life: sorry darling, we're going to have to live with my mum for the rest of her life.

Love of Her Life: oh my, has she got down sort of awful illness?

OP: no, she just might need me to send a text message from time to time. So, naturally, we can never live apart.

@theemmadilemma

If she can use whatapp she can send a text? WTF?

And seriously she's not old. She's lazy.

This. WhatsApp is texting.

This is mad! My in laws are in their 80's and manage fine with tech. My parents 70's all fine. I'm 52 and have been using this technology since I was in my late 20's early 30's. Has your Mum never had a job or friends that text or use technology?

I think you should definitely try to find out what she finds so difficult about texting etc and offer to show her ways to make it easier to do it herself.

My DP also struggle to send longer texts- mainly because they get confused by the predictive text function and find the onscreen keypad difficult- they can send a very short text but it takes ages. DM can type very fast on an actual keyboard and is very comfortable with e-mails but lots of family members they want to communicate rarely check e-mail and rely on text/whatsapp. They were also very nervous of buying anything online (I think worried that they would make expensive mistakes). When lockdown happened and they were shielding (medically vulnerable) they had to learn, with us as remote IT support! I have taught DM how to use whatsapp web (which lets you send whatsapp messages from a computer) so she can type out her messages on her desktop keyboard. It would have been much easier to have persuaded them to learn years ago when we could me in the same room as them. They are mid 70s though, not 50s

Does she have any disabilities that would prevent her from doing it? If not she's just lazy.
My mum is old enough to be her mother, and she texts just fine.

Binary

I'm in my late 50s and have difficulty believing a NT person near my age can't use mobile phone technology. I was pretty late getting my first mobile. In 1997. My father-in-law is 91 and doesn't need someone to text for him.
She's taking the piss.

If she can send a short text, she can send a long text

my mum sends text messages that have no punctuation or grammar and no structure to the sentences also really rude short replies with no niceties she is only in her 60s so there isn’t really any excuse but I have given up I don’t think she’ll change a bit like this message really

Haha! This is an example of the sort of message my mum sends. Sound familiar? Apparently women age 55+ of a working class background (ie my mum) are the group most likely to have poor digital skills. So your mum is not alone. My mum gets super stressed if she has to do anything online- especially attaching documents to emails.

She’s late 50s? I’m 56. If I can type on MN on my iPhone6 she can send a text. It’s not exactly rocket science.

Does she have literacy difficulties?

How's her reading and writing otherwise? Could she be masking issues with this by getting you to do it?

She needs reading glasses.

Apparently it’s ‘rude’ to correctly punctuate your texts and messages, or so the yoof tell me.

Just to add, I do think it’s a mindset thing. They just don’t really want to be engaged with tech. They use it reluctantly and it shows.

My mum and her female peers are all pretty similar. They send short messages (quite rude if you were sending to anyone else). The men are much better at having embraced tech.

My mum is not thick - she’s way more intelligent than my dad. She just doesn’t want to engage with tech.

My mum has no idea how to switch the telly on. My dad does it. She doesn’t care so has never learnt! Zoom calls with them over lockdown were interesting!

maybe get her a tablet? I can text from my iphone but I find it amazingly fiddly.

@LittleOwl153

Yep. You do. It is surprising how independent some of these older (though in her 50s isn't old!) Folks have learnt during lockdown as they've had to do if for themselves!

No, OP doesn’t. It’s not her responsibility to do anything. If the mother can send a short text, she can send a long one. Theo May thing OP needs to do is say no.

Voice notes are way easier if using messenger or WhatsApp

She always has been rubbish at technology, a couple of years ago when we went on holiday we had to go through a barrier when we had to scan something to get through, Mum was struggling and couldn't do it, took her about a minute to do it in total when it took me 2 seconds.

She hasn't go much education, she left school without any qualifications but I don't why she's just so not into technology, she's never used a computer, never been on the internet by herself. You don't have to be massively into technology but I just found it a bit weird she's just so clueless in a way.