'And the most important thing'.... AIBU to find this annoying

[eympa]

Light hearted (but I am mildly annoyed and want to check I'm not being irrational :) )

Spent 20 minutes making fresh dinner tonight, pittas, fresh salad, lots of bits etc after a busy day with a rowdy toddler, I'm feeling frayed getting everything sorted and on the table while DH is with toddler out of the way. So before we sit down, I'm just getting the last bits on the table and DH makes a grand gesture of walking over to cupboard, fetching the chilli sauce and declaring 'And the most important thing!'...

AIBU to feel slighted by this? I can't put my finger on the word, I wouldn't say ungrateful but I definitely felt like 'ok, great so me making a fresh meal is ok and spending 20 mins in kitchen is a small effort but this additive heaven in a bottle is the really special part of this dinner'...

I know 100% he didn't mean it like this, I know if I questioned him he would absolutely be appreciative, he is and we have a good relationship but this comment really got my back up!

AIBU? Am I being tetchy after a long and shitty day or is this in fact an annoying this to say to someone who has just made you dinner.

Also, I was so a) wiped out b) dumbfounded I just repeated what he said back to me to him with zero expression or emotion. I am so tired, I've turned to Mumsnet, eek haha

In the kindest way, you're overreacting. Blame it on the heat!

That would irritate the shit out of me. And I’d tell him so.

I think you’re really overreacting but I may well have said ‘oi! What about the lovely dinner I’ve just made?!’ If my DH did that, but I’m not known for keeping quiet if something annoys me.

It was a harmless comment and you would be daft to make anything else of it.

I think you're overreacting a bit but you could just serve him a dollop of sauce tomorrow for his tea.

My H does this and it really annoys me. If I wanted a dish to taste mainly of sriracha I’d have put in 2 tablespoons. Please at least try what I’ve cooked first.

@SmidgenofaPigeon you know when you're just tired and the humour just doesn't come, but this is definitely something I would typically say, I think it's just been one of those weeks!
So far looking about 80% U!

I don't really understand what the issue is. Chilli sauce is the King of Sauces.

@PastMyBestBeforeDate

I think you're overreacting a bit but you could just serve him a dollop of sauce tomorrow for his tea.

Hahaha I love this idea. It would annoy me a little bit and I'd probably say oi! I spent ages cooking this but I'd move on quickly.

You are totally being unreasonable and irritable BUT is the irk because it sounds like he was giving himself kudos for bringing THE ‘most important thing’ to the table (as opposed to your lovely dinner)?

You’re still being irrational though, it was probably a flippant comment from him

Because you mention a toddler can I ask if you've seen the BBQ episode of Bluey? Because right now you're Bingo (this is not an insult if you haven't seen it!)

YABU. But you are very tired, and frazzled. Do the same thing next time he makes dinner!

Next time Me and DD will eat the meal, DH can have chilli sauce bottle brought to him on a silver serving platter..

I think you’re making a bit of a fuss over nothing to be honest. Did you actually make the pittas yourself? I’m assuming not as it took you 20 minutes to prepare. Since you haven’t actually mentioned any actual food that you’ve made, it sounds more like a collection of things you’ve put on a table. If none of it was homemade it’s actually quite reasonable for some to say that chilli sauce is the most important thing to them as it’s just an additional thing put on the table that they wanted.
I may of course be totally wrong and they were homemade pittas and you made loads of other stuff as well, in which case, fair enough!

You do sound a little bit like one of those snobby Michelin starred chefs that throws a fit if someone wants the salt! Chalk it up to a bad day, we all occasionally find ourselves in one of those moods where everything (everyone?) is annoying and the slightest thing can give you the rage.

@RuggerHug yes, I really like Bluey (facepalm)! I haven't seen that one but I will give a watch tomorrow with DD if I can find it. Actually watchable toddler programme :)

I couldn’t get exercised about this and I have a toddler, often spend at least 20 minutes cooking dinner and have a UTI.

Fair enough if it’s annoyed you but I’d let it go.

My DH has a bad habit of adding all sorts of unnecessary condiments to fresh meals when I’ve cooked them.
It makes me and a bit
I’m working on letting it go…….

Also, 20 minutes to make dinner is no time at all. It’s surely the bare minimum time it could possibly be. If you got a selection of ready meal curries it would take that long to microwave them all.

YANBU it's these throwaway comments that can really undermine a relationship if left to fester.

@Shoppingwithmother what about washing and preparing lettuce, cucumber, tomato and carrots, also chopping avocado? Surely that counts as preparing a meal? Just because something isn't cooked it's still making something, like a salad?

that's the sort of thing that would make laugh one day, want to throw shoes at him another.

today I totally hear it in a comedy way but I get why you'd get annoyed.
I think it was just bad timing for you.

LTB?🤣

In 20 mins how much of a "fresh meal" did you make? Sounds like you just chopped some stuff and then got unreasonably shirty over nothing.

I love chilli sauce.

@FourTurnings

I love chilli sauce.

@FourTurnings

🤣🤣🤣🤣
way to focus on the real point here!