To ask your/your kids favourite joke?!

[CheeseAndBeans]

Putting in here for traffic!

I put notes in my DDs (4 and 7) lunch boxes every day, it started when the oldest got separation anxiety going back to school after the first lockdown and now they look forward to it. They love it when I write jokes but I am running out... exhausted google!!

So, what's your best joke? Or your kids funniest joke?!

Thank you!

"Most plants don't like puns, but some do - they think they're fern-y"

What's the difference between snowmen and snow women ..... snowballs!

Totally inappropriate, sorry!

I asked my cat what 2 minus 2 is and she said nothing...cracks DC up every time!

That one was read to me from the pages of the BEANO recently.
You might find this site useful, OP
www.beano.com/categories/jokes

Have you heard about Mr and Mrs Clunch?
And their beautiful daughter, Pat?

Pat Clunch!

My teenagers think this is hysterical. Seriously.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsssssssh

What kind of plant grows out of your pants?

Bumboo.

DS13 still kills himself at this.

How do you get Picachu on a bus?
Pokemon

Maybe a bit long for your kids but...,,

A mummy potato has 3 daughters. One day, she said to them, "I want you all to find husbands and marry well."

Next day, the oldest one comes home and says "Mum, mum, I've found a husband and guess what? He's a King Edward!"

Mum's really happy....royalty in the family!

Next day th e middle daughter comes home and says "Mum! Mum! I'm getting married! And guess what? He's a Jersey Royal!"

Mum's delighted....more royalty!

Next day the youngest comes home and says "Mum! Mum! Guess what! I'm getting married....to Gary Lineker!"

Mum's heartbroken......"Gary Lineker? You can't marry Gary Lineker! He's a common tater!"

@sar302

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsssssssh

And what do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkheawrus

What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog?
Doyouthinkhesawrus Rex

@Spidey66

And then ‘What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea!

What do you get if you sit underneath a cow?

A pat on the head

Why did the baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Mikey
Mikey who
Mikey is broken, can you let me in?

Knock knock
Who’s there
Europe
Europe who?
NO YOURE A POO!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Smellup.

Smellup who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

The interrupting cow

The interrupting cow wh...

MOO!

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they argh.

“Doctor Doctor I keep on thinking I’m a dog”
“How long have you been feeling this way”
“Ever since I was a puppy”

Ds’ favourite joke for a few years now and it still makes us laugh

What type of bees provide milk?
Boobies!

What do you call Postman Pat when he retires?
Pat!

Which travels faster, heat or cold?

Heat because you can catch a cold!

Why do giraffes have long necks?

Because their feet smell!!

Kids love it.

Why were 5 and 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

(You kind of have to say it out loud for it to make sense but this has been the DC’s favourite for a while now)

Why can’t dalmations play hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted!

Velcro-what a rip-off!

Some people have a way with the English language, and other people not have way.

*What's black and white and goes round and round?

A penguin in a washing machine!

*Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9!

*Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the road and turned into a field!

My 5 year old tells everyone these ones and finds them hilarious 😂

And another one:

“My dog Minton swallowed a shuttlecock.

Bad Minton!”

Again, fairly puerile but makes them laugh.